I’ve noticed that an awful lot of police time is spent on calls where the caller is involved in a family domestic dispute and wants help, but they don’t want to press charges against anyone or want anyone arrested. Many times they are lower or middle class and simply cannot afford any kind of professional help or family therapy so situations fester until they explode into a crisis and then as a last resort they call police hoping for a therapist to show up instead of a LEO.
I get the feeling police themselves don’t particularly like these calls, especially as they are often repeat to the point of nuisance. Often times the police even if no violence has taken place will arrest someone or everyone out of anger or furstration with the situation, or will use the visit as an excuse to snoop for minor crimes such as marijuana possession to chare people with which is the last thing the family needs.
It can be anything from a couple dispute thats close to getting violent, a emotionally distressed relative, a out of control mental illness or drug addiction, a parent fighting with their nearly grown children.
I wonder if there should be a publically available therapist/psychologist you could call for such crisis situations that could go out and counsel everyone, cool them down or just convince them to leave for the time being. Without the threat of arrest out of vindiction or snooping around for crimes.
It would cut down on wasted police time for one, and would help people who just need help and don’t need legal problems on top of it. Its a real problem for people who cannot afford professional help, they are forced to rely on LEO for crisis counseling which is a very risky move.
The main argument against these kinds of approaches is that they basically decriminalise violence in a domestic setting.
The alternative approach has generally been diversion programs into treatment programs, or workers turning up a few days after police attendance to offer programs, which means you have a fist in glove approach, ie you keep going down this path, its likely to end up legal if the police keep having to attend, why not avoid that, etc etc.
I’m pretty sure you could call the samaratins, and stick on speaker phone.
Although no one is going to think of that at the time. Anyway, these people are usually the dregs of society, they encounter the police in professional capacity just as much. So it’s a nice social thing.
relying on LEO for crisis counseling seems less risky than sending an unarmed therapist or psychologist into the midst of a domestic violence incident.
Yup. So true. Domestic abuse really only affects “the dregs of society.” Those people are asking for it! By being all poor and stuff! And rich people, or middle class, they don’t have these problems.
I think that’s the problem. When you have two people with their heels dug into the ground about to erupt into violence, you really can’t send a mediator in. You need someone with physical strength as well as a uniform/badge/gun/cuffs and a presence that can go in and diffuse the situation. I’m guessing more often then not these people (right then and there) don’t need to talk about their feelings, they need someone of authority to drag one person outside to the front lawn while the other one stays inside so they can all cool off for 20 minutes…then the cops can decide what needs to be done.
But even once they’re cooled off, I doubt they’d be ready to talk to a counselor. Maybe tomorrow or the next day, but at that point IMO it probably shouldn’t be on my dime. If you need counseling to keep from hurting each other I think you either need to stay out of each others way or pay for your own counseling.
Who said they need to be unarmed? I’d be fine with them being armed with non-lethal weapons and a gun for their own self defense if they need it.
Maybe this is a regional thing but in the USA(at least the parts of it I am familiar with) no there are no counselors that go out with police or after. If you get arrested the only way to talk to someone is to threaten your own life which just brings more problems. And even if no violence has taken place(yet at least) its RISKY to call police to cool down a domestic argument. You can get sympathetic officers and you can get real assholes that seem to enjoy arresting people.
Its not uncommon for them to be sexist, I’ve known some guys personally that were attacked by their girlfriend(they did not strike back) and they call police to come cool it down and they get arrested because they are the man. Often cops will say that state law requires them to make an arrest if a domestic violence call is made even if it was only verbal arguing, or they will arrest both partners and call CPS for the kids, everyone loses their jobs and has trouble getting new ones with the arrest on their record etc. Hell most people I know if cops are called they bail as fast as possible to make sure they aren’t there when they show up because of this.
My sister called the police to come talk to her 18 year old son, end result a kicked in door three arrests including the both of them and her husband and threats to shoot a docile family pet. :smack: Lord knows how much the court fees and bail and everything will end up costing.
The fact is there is a big demand for someone to come talk people through disputes, without ruining their lives. Everyone already pays for this through taxes, wouldn’t it be cheaper to address it directly?
Mental Health counseling being both more available and more affordable is a better answer than sending counselors into a danger zone. And, like it or not, sometimes it IS a danger zone. I know many LEO who have been physically attacked while arresting the man in a domestic violence incident - by the woman who just had the hell beaten out of her.
People who are violent are not in need of counseling at the time of violence, as was stated above. They are in need of cooling off and getting the situation calmed down, preferably by keeping the fighters away from each other. Counseling is of use later, when tempers have calmed, but often the parties will not take advantage of counseling even if it is available. Many courts order anger management counseling for domestic violence offenders.
Ideas like this have been trialled. I’ve actually worked as a ‘mens outreach worker’ a fair while ago where I was available either to talk to men, or try and make contact with them.
Now the obvious accusation is that I did a crap job, but I can tell you I had zero approaches directly from men. And I can also tell you that I did not get a ton of people lining up to go and do counselling in-home. I only went round when invited, not when there was a crisis, and I still had a couple of dear god moments where a guy was working himself up in front of me.
When its got to the point that violence is a serious concern, safety of the people at risk has to be the first concern. Helping the perpetrator manage their own temper because they cant manage it themselves is second, not to mention if they’re still drunk or whatever its a waste of time anyhow.
Maybe with a lot of work it could happen, but it sure didnt seem like there was this huge untapped group of people dying to get help before they did something stupid.
Domestic violence + unarmed bystander = murder-suicide waiting to happen
I’m reminded of this poor Good samaritan who was very nearly killed when he tried to intervene in a domestic violence incident: Things to Do in Chicago - Chicago Tribune
If someone stays with someone who beats the hell out of them, they probably have a reason for staying that is very powerful for them (whether it’s fear or some kind of misguided love). Most of us don’t understand the psychology of how that happens, but it’s real. Most people who have tried to help someone get out of a domestic violence situation can tell you about how the abuse victim often will go back to the abuser a few times before (if they’re lucky) they finally break free forever or (if they’re not lucky) the abuser finally kills them.
If some well-meaning therapist shows up and tries to calm things down or separate these people who have such a powerful love-hate bond, the most likely outcome is that both of them will turn against the outsider and the outsider will be horribly hurt. It really is for the best I think if someone who is well-armed and knows how to handle dangerous people forcibly separates the two of them before any effort at counseling takes place. Honestly, I don’t think that abusers can be reformed even with intense counseling. All you can hope for from counseing is to focus on the abuse victim, trying to give them the tools necessary to protect themselves from abusers.