We got a new cat. Her name is Tammy and we’ve had her for a month. She’s a sweetheart and we love her very much.
My wife, however, thinks that Tammy is sad and lonely. This may be because (1) she’s had tapeworm recently, but is recovering; (2) my wife is simply anthropomorphizing ordinary cat behavior; or (3) Tammy is sad and misses her brother Max.
Max is also a sweetheart. They are from the same litter and grew up together (both are 9+). They even shared the same cage at the adoption center. We took Tammy because she is a more manageable size (Max is pretty big) and doesn’t shed (Max left orange hair everywhere on me when I held him).
Now we’re considering getting Max. The expense will be more, but that isn’t much of an issue (neither is the shedding, the size, or concerns about our small condo being big enough for two). My wife really seems to think we may have caused Tammy emotional harm by separating her from her brother, so I think it’s safe to say our (her) prime motivation is guilt. If this were any other cat, we really wouldn’t consider getting a second, but because it’s her brother (and a month later, still unadopted), it’s different.
Should we get him for that reason alone? I have asked my wife “What happens if she still acts this way with Max around?” (this way being distant, finicky, w/a tendency to cry a lot), and a friend asked her “What if she’s glad to be rid of her brother and have a whole place to herself now?”. Also, the only thing we’re really worried about Max is spraying; this is a deal-breaker, I think. He is neutered, but we read that altered cats sometimes still spray. How common is this?
I personally think Tammy’s acting like a cat. We love cats, love her, and we have more than enough room in our hearts to love both if we get Max. But we never planned on getting a 2nd cat and are considering this just for her (and my wife’s peace of mind). Any thoughts or experience?
Definitely go get Max! Two cats are much better than one. As for the room issue, my two monsters do beautifully in my one bedroom condo, they keep each other occupied. Oh, Max may shed less with daily brushings and an improved diet. I’ve also got some liquid vitamin stuff that’s supposed to help with shedding. I’ll mail it to ya if you want it; mine won’t take it since it’s supposed to go on wet food and they only eat dry (weird boogers, I know). Yep, a two cat household is what you need.
I had a male cat who was neutered, and we never had any problems with spraying. I guess it would depend on the cat’s personality. If he is a jittery, nervous cat he is probably more likely to want to mark his territory everywhere with ones and twos.
Max is adorable. IMHO, I think you should get him too. I don’t think you’ll regret it.
Wishing you many years of love and happiness with your new baby!
I would go get Max. Especially if they have been together 9 years, that could be the cause of the sadness (if there is any). I guess I would be ready for the chance that Tammy won’t recognize him at first (they have been separated a month), but I always think two cats do better than one alone.
We have a brother/sister combo in Zoe and Samantha. They are about 6 now. If we separated them, I think Sammy would die of ennui in about 1 month. Go get that cat. Tammy and Max will thank you.
The pics and the descriptions match Zoe and Sam almost to a t. Well, they are cow-colored, but other than that, the size and temperments are so very similar. I can’t imagine one without the other. Go with the good people of the SDMB, and run, don’t walk, to get Max.
Go get Max! I think Tammy really does miss her brother. My kitties are 1 year old littermates, and very bonded. They greet each other with head licks, sleep together, and keep track of each other when outside. My former cats (aging, and now gone onyond) were not littermates, and liked each other well enough, but it’s been amazing to see the depth of bond between these two. After 9 years, Tammy and Max must be quite a pair.
In having these new kitties, plus one two months younger dropped off in my garage, I’ve realize that cats are very social creatures, with a group orientation. We humans separate them from their normal social structure. Since I bottle-fed my kitties (their mom died) I’ve been their mom, and they try to do everything as a group, with me as the lead “cat”. They’re starting to act as individuals, but it’s been wonderful to see the cat “pride” structure.
Oh yeah. You need to get Max. Our cats, Jack and Ziff, are brother and sister, with a really strong family dynamic. They’re hysterical, and very, very cute.
I have littermates–also brother and sister. Sister cat (Abby) also had a tapeworm early on and generally needs some extra TLC. Brother cat (Fitch) is twice her size, orange, and sheddy, but we love him just the same. If you take one of them away for even a minute, they’ll both start crying. They sleep next to each other at night. They need each other like Tammy needs Max. (Have we guilted you into it yet?)
Seriously, you’re doing a good thing by giving Max a home.
Yes! Get Max! She must miss him! When I was younger we got 3 cat siblings and they were so good together! If you love cats, shedding just comes with the territory…hairballs, etc! Margo
Definitely get Max. I intended to adopt only one kitten (an orange male who sheds everywhere, incidentally) but wound up agreeing to take his brother for a little while. Well, a little while became permanent, and I am so grateful it did. Those cats wouldn’t know what to do without each other; on the rare occasions when one goes to the vet while the other stays home, the one left behind cries and frantically searches the house until the other one gets back. They groom each other, cuddle together, have blow-out rampaging fights, play and nap together. When we’re gone, I know they don’t feel too lonely.
And they’re only 4. Those cats deserve to stay together after 9 years of companionship.
