Should we change our wedding date?

[Shayna]

@Penchan

I’m really sorry, I thought I answered the question already! I didn’t think anyone would want to hear our non-concrete reason for picking that date. We sat down and thought of the best time of year to get married and June seemed the best. It’s not too hot or too cold around that time of year. Our younger friends would be out of school and our teacher friends would have finished teaching for the schoolyear. We would also like to marry around that time because we met around June and we saw it fit to have our relationship sort of come full circle.

As for the number, we like even numbers (I think it’s an Asian thing?) or blocked numbers (in 5’s). We threw out numbers and 25 seemed like a good number. We got together on December 25, 2000, which would make remembering our dating and wedding anniversary so much easier! So for the past two years we assumed we’d marry on June 25, 2008. But when I looked at the calendar to make sure everything was ok, I realized that it falls on a Wednesday. And here we are. We were reluctant because for the past two years we’ve been talking about our wedding taking place on the 25th and hey, after visualizing something for that long, you kind of want to stick with it.

Why not consider getting married on May 25, 2008? It’s close enough to June that the weather will be similar, and even though it falls on a Sunday, it’s a holiday weekend when people will have Monday off of work, which makes it feel a lot like a Saturday and allows for day-after travel for those coming from out of town. And that way you get to keep your number 25! The other thing you may find is that venues might be more available on a holiday weekend and therefore might offer a discount to book during that time. We got married on May 26, 2002 which was the Sunday before Memorial Day and our venue cut their price by more than half to get that date filled.

Best of luck and just remember to HAVE FUN no matter which date you end up choosing!

[Penchan]

@El Perro Fumando

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but Only Mostly Dead proposed over a year ago and we’re still more than two months away. (Total engagement = year and a half) You get to a point (or at least I did) where you just want the wedding to get here so you can be married. Long engagements are good for getting the vendors you want and saving money, but I would not recommend an engagement more than 2 years.

There’s no harm in a little rushing

Oh I’ve been wanting to marry TonyF since three months in the relationship! We’ve always been living the poor college student life while we watched our friends go off to Las Vegas every year to gamble hundreds of dollars away. Whenever they wanted to go on a shopping spree (meaning spending thousands), we sat at home and played video games. For once we want the formal, nice wedding. (Note that we’re not going to have hundreds of guests and I’m definitely not going to spend crazy amounts of money on flowers or whatever.) Waiting a little longer to have our dream wedding is worth the wait for us. If the money for our wedding somehow appeared, there wouldn’t be a problem, but we’re paying for the wedding ourselves so it will take a while.

And yes there IS harm in rushing! My parents are a little sad that their baby girl is going to get married and GASP! be an adult (in the Asian community, you’re not a true adult until you’re married, have a house and kids, etc.). Once the SO officially proposes (I told him I didn’t need a ring, but he insists shrug), it’ll give my parents time to wrap their heads around the concept of their daughter being a married woman. Since things aren’t formalized they still aren’t admitting to themselves or to any of their friends that I WILL be married and soonish.

@Shayna

Why not consider getting married on May 25, 2008? It’s close enough to June that the weather will be similar, and even though it falls on a Sunday, it’s a holiday weekend when people will have Monday off of work, which makes it feel a lot like a Saturday and allows for day-after travel for those coming from out of town. And that way you get to keep your number 25! The other thing you may find is that venues might be more available on a holiday weekend and therefore might offer a discount to book during that time. We got married on May 26, 2002 which was the Sunday before Memorial Day and our venue cut their price by more than half to get that date filled.

Best of luck and just remember to HAVE FUN no matter which date you end up choosing!

Haha we actually have a funny reason for not picking that date earlier. We both volunteer for FanimeCon which is an anime convention in north California. It takes place every year during Memorial Day weekend so we’ll be too busy helping out to get married. You gotta have your priorities

Oh we are having fun in slowly planning our wedding. At least I am. I’ve been teasing him that I’ll buy a $5000 hideous dress and my bridesmaids (and men) will wear dresses. The lot of them. He’s not liking me right now because I don’t know if he knows that I’m kidding! I may be quirky, but not that quirky!

[kittenblue]

@Penchan

Yep, we’ve been together over five years, living together for two of those years. But he wants time after we graduate to find jobs (he does programming contract work, I work at my parent’s restaurant) and start paying off those student loans. We don’t want to rush into a marriage when we need to establish ourselves a bit first. We’ll be moving into my parent’s home, and though it’s a pretty big house, there will still be my parents around, so we’d like time to figure out the dynamics of that too.

Also, we’re saving up for a backpacking trip to Europe at the end of the year for a crazy, stupid post-graduation trip for ourselves. We’ll be frugal, but a month in Europe costs a good amount of money.

The SO also wants time to save up on his own to get the engagement ring (he proposed, but he wants to redo it with the whole get down on one knee, engagement hoohaw) and I’d like to give him time to do what he has to do.

Besides, we’d like to have fun by taking our time planning the wedding. Why rush something that’s supposed to be special and that you’ll remember forever?

Just think of how much more money you’ll have to spend on that trip, and how much quicker you can pay off those loans, if you’re not trying to save up to pay for a big wedding? Since you’re already living together, and even living together under your parent’s roof with your parents, I don’t see why they’d have to make such a leap to think of you as married. Use the back-packing trip as a honeymoon. Save tons of money and do it this year! If your parents really, really have to have the huge wedding as a status thing, let them throw you a huge party for your anniversary in 2008. Have the fun planning your life, and your first home, not a party.

[Helen]

@Misnomer

Contrary to what most folks seem to think, I don’t believe that a wedding is about the bride and groom – the marriage is about them, but the wedding is about celebrating with loved ones (and family ;)). I’ve never understood/agreed with the “it’s my special day, so I’m going to do what I want and the convenience of my guests be damned” way of thinking.

Well said, Misnomer.