Women also learn that it doesn’t necessarily matter what you wear, as some guys will be dicks regardless. In high school bio class, the teacher would come up behind girls who were reading and look down over their shoulder to see if their shirt gapped and he could get a look down into your cleavage. In college, I was walking at night with a female friend; both of us were wearing huge, baggy sweaters that obscured our (decent) figures. A car stops and a guy leans out and yells, “You’re both fat but I’d still love to fuck you!” and then drives off. :mad:
So don’t be shocked if a lot of women just say, “fuck it, whatever.” We’re not going to be noticed (in professional ways, in most jobs) or promoted on a wardrobe of muumuus, turtlenecks and floor-length skirts, hijabs, men’s suits with shirts buttoned up to a throat-choking level, and Amish black dresses, so yeah, we’ll wear something that hugs the curves or has a V in the neck. That doesn’t mean this is a free-for-all “lookit me!” time.
I agree with everything the women here are saying. I do however want to clear up a misconception, most recently found in MOL’s post. Us “gentlemen” are going to be looking at the tits of any reasonable attractive woman, not just those who “can’t carry it off” or whatever. I don’t even really get what that entire thing is about.
I also have to say this entire thing is a bit silly, but at the same time very interesting to see how different people (and especially different sexes) approach things. Especially, I also have to ask Troppus: are you unsusually perceptive, hang around men a lot, are Australian, or just say what every woman knows? I love women like you that say things in a comprehensible way.
In the name of people who are so accustomed to the baptismal party having reserved seats in the first row (your FIL? I’m used to the church itself reserving that pew) that we exclaimed “of course!”, I apologize for forgetting to warn you.
I never, ever, ever wear any kind of low-cut tops, yet there are people whose looks kind of make me wish for a burka. Looks, like words, can carry a tone, if you know what I mean: some once-overs say “I’m identifying you; hello”; others say “you’re a slab of bacon and the only reason I’m not using my knife and fork on you is that all these morons here would protest - don’t ask me why, the assholes, they should just join the meal.”
The only times I’ve either adjusted my top or buttoned it up were when some dude was talking to my boobs instead of my face. While I dig the occasional comment when in a bar-type setting (“Nice rack,” or free drinks from the bartender), I don’t need to have it made clear to me in just about any other setting that who I’m talking to is not really listening or speaking to me, and is instead just whispering “booooobieeesss” in his head.
And Troppus, your post ending in Carl’s nut pants had me giggling like a fool. Thanks!
No one is going to think my butt looks good under any circumstances, but even if they did, I wouldn’t care about the latter possibility. Men don’t worry about unattractive women finding them attractive. Women do. Presumably explicable in terms of power imbalance.
I have the solution for your problem. Put a red light and a green light on your forehead. When a man that you don’t want to see your cleavage approaches switch on the red light so he can avoid you, and the green when you do want to be oggled.
Even from men you do fancy, ogling is unpleasant. I’m sure you can work out the difference between ogling and a glance without having to resort to psychic powers.
If I’m at work, and I’m giving a lecture or talking to you on how to improve on something, or discussing my cases/research, then there is no reason you should for the moment don’t oogle, just give a quick glance and pay attention to what I say.
It is the same that I have to ignore how hot my coworkers or students are when I have to teach them something.
If I’m outside of work, particularly at a place known for flirting, drinking, dancing, and hooking up, admiring what I got is slightly more acceptable. But if you want more than to look, then it’d be better to stop looking and start paying attention to the rest of myself.
Is the concept of different behaviors for different settings that difficult to understand?
Another very good reason why I may fidget in that area or cover what was uncovered is… changes in the weather. When it gets too cold, some parts that may not be noticeable, suddenly are. That would be totally inappropriate in some settings, so covering it is.
Why on earth do you need to be psychic? I can cover my cleavage by adjusting my shirt or putting my hand to my chin. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my problem myself. That’s rather what this whole thread is about, dear. Do try to keep up.