Look, lady, no one really enjoys the middle school band concert all that much. They’re just kids, and while they’ve improved greatly over the year, this is not the Symphony. We all come out to support and encourage our little darlings, on whom we’ve spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars in music lessons. Each band only played three songs, the director had the beginning band play first and the advanced band last, so the music improved over the course of the show, and the kids did their honest-to-God level best.
So couldn’t you and your loud-mouthed harridan mother and mother-in-law have just shut the fuck up for thirty lousy minutes? Or, if the conversation about your various disgusting medical problems couldn’t wait that long, howsabout taking it outside? Yes, the band teacher has told us it’s impolite to leave before all the bands have finished playing, but talking over the music for the entire show is a hundred times worse. I thought you’d at least be able to zip it while your own kid was playing, for God’s sake, but I was apparently wrong. And if I, of all people, was bothered enough to nudge and shush you twice, then you can bet your ass there were ten more people in our section of the bleachers who would have gladly punched you.
At least I’ll know who not to sit near next time around.
On a related note, about 10 years ago I went to see a community theatre production of Oklahoma. When the conductor came out, the house lights didn’t go down, and the audience kept on chattering. In fact, during the overture, the audience got louder, as they had to speak over the “noisy orchestra.” My (now ex-)girlfriend agreed with this artistic decision, because “There’s no singing yet. Who cares about the overture?” Needless to say, as a conductor myself, I found this to be disturbing.
Ouch! I’m glad every individual in my community had better taste when I was in band. Had I notied up on stage (possibly wouldn’t, but still), would have been thinking I was horrible.
And would it kill people to put on something other than a t-shirt and jeans? Honestly, people show up looking awful. And they drag the whole family along including the bored 3 year old and the apparently drunk teenager. If I were the kid playing from that family, I’d just as soon not have them show up!
I adored my daughter’s high school chorus leader. She stopped a concert once and asked a woman with an unruly brat in the front row to please leave. That alone merited a standing ovation!
I remember when my high school music department went on tour. (We performed a couple of concerts at other high schools in different towns.) I played the bassoon in the orchestra.
We were performing the William Tell Overture. As some of you may know, the first portion of the W.T. Overture is slow and quiet. Or, as the students in the audience obviously felt, “boring”.
It was apparently boring enough that almost the entire audience preferred to engage in conversation rather than listen to us. We could see our conductor growing angrier and angrier, and most of us in the orchestra were shooting (fruitless) irritated looks at the audience while we played.
So, as the “Lone Ranger” portion of the overture approached, the conductor made eye contact with the brass section. He held his fist up in front of his face and pulled it down quickly in that “hit it!” gesture. The brass section understood. They hit it. As loudly as possible:
People are fucking idiots. I have encountered similar scenes at kid band concerts, dance recitals, plays and honors assemblies.
I think I’ve told this before, but anyway. . . my daughter graduated HS in 2002, it was a spectacular early June evening on the school lawn, the festivities had just begun. As the sun began to set, the class president asked for us to remember loved ones and 9/11 (still fresh in the memory at that time) as two student trumpeters played Taps. What a moment for the senior class and their proud families. Until the idiot’s cell phone started ringing. The woman was two rows in front of me. She not only answered the goddamn phone, but talked through the whole thing. Fucking idiot. I would have asked her to shove the phone up her ass, but figured that might have disturbed the moment even more. Still pisses me off 3 years later.
And it doesn’t only happen at free, must-attend student events. I’ve attended concerts for which I (and all the other attendees) have spent $75 for a ticket and some fucking idiots talk through the whole thing. If you really want to have a nice, lengthy chat with your buddies, more power to you! But why the hell do you want to pay $75, ignore the concert and have the chat there? Pay me a mere $50 and you can come chat in my driveway! I don’t get it. Oh, wait, yes I do. People are fucking idiots.
My youngest kid was in marching band throughout high school.
Marching band season ,of course, coincides with football season so the routines the kids sweated over til way past dark every dry weekday evening went unappreciated by the louts who no doubt were taping the Huskers at home anyway but just had to plug the radio broadcasts in their ears as well.
Invariably, during a soft passage in the music you’d hear the idiots, oblivious to what’s going on in front of them on the field screaming things like “Way to go! Jam that fucking ball down their throats!” or “Fuck that ref!What a fucking crook!”
These louts no doubt thought that they were “supporting” their kids. Their kids were no doubt hoping Mom would leave them home next week.
When we travelled to meets in states like South Dakota or Iowa, we deliberately did not wear our school colors so our more civilized hosts wouldn’t get the impression that we were with" those" people.
Wouldn’t you have loved to stand up, shout to the conductor “HALT!” Then when everyone is quiet gesture to the woman, recap what was said and announce, “Well I’m sure we’re all interested in the outcome now. Please continue before the kids finish the set.”
OTOH, maybe she was an attention whore and would have treated it like an episode of Oprah.
Well, it teaches these kids an important lesson–some people are assholes! It’s good to get some practice playing with background noise, so you can learn not to be distracted by whatever’s going on around you.