Shutting down the Eyjafjallajokull volcano's eruption? (With SCIENCE!)

Okay, I got a minute to kill and a weird thread quota to keep up, so I’ll ask what I’m sure is on everyone’s mind: is there any way to shut down the eruption of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano?

The ground rules?

  1. The scheme can’t violate the immutable laws of physics.
  2. It has to be at least technically technically possible in the modern day. (i.e. building and hooking up an Orion nuclear engine to a small asteroid is, technically, possible. Building a teleporter or a black hole generator isn’t.)
  3. It has to kill less than half the world’s human population.

So, I’m assuming just bodging up a few dozen 100-megaton Tsar Bombas and dropping them on the volcanic crater until the screaming stops isn’t going to do any good. What’s next?

No.

Sorry to be such a spoilsport, but there’s no possible way at all. Even if you removed condition #3, it ain’t happening.

Easy way: Do nothing. Sit back and wait. Guaranteed success.

Why do you want to stop the eruption? It seems to me any “reasons” are merely selfish and trivial in the greater scheme of planet’s natural evolution. In the end, such an action is merely wasted effort. Mother Nature always wins in the end.

Also, have you considered the Butterfly Effect? How do we know that such an attempt on the northern part of the Mid-Atlantic Ridge won’t deepen the Marianas Trench in the Pacific? Perhaps it will cause the Moon to wobble a wee bit more. Geez, that could really ruin the surfer action at Mavericks. You want an entire surfer community on your doorstep, dude? For some pesky volcanic ash? Come on, get a grip.

It already has! For 20 minutes. In 1960.

D&R

Who says a black hole generator isn’t possible? :wink:

Instead of preventing the volcano itself, it’s probably easier to find ways of dealing with the ash cloud itself. How about building a row of giant fans to blow the ash away from mainland Europe?

[quote=“Duckster, post:4, topic:536944”]

Why do you want to stop the eruption?/QUOTE]

I came in under budget on my mad science plans this year, and if I don’t use the rest, I’m going to get my funding reduced.

Also, a) to prove I can, b) to rabbit punch Gaia for my own amusement, c) revenge. Take your pick. :slight_smile:

Sure? You are actually sure of this perception? It couldn’t be, like, something YOU’VE been thinking about that, say, any rational person wouldn’t entertain for a moment?

Just for the record: a volcanic eruption releases an INSANE amount of energy that no man-made process could possibly have the slightest measurable effect on. And as others have intimated: what would you suggest occur with the energy that you do manage to sublimate?

Yes. Because that’s so much funnier to write.

Hey, for the record, the OP also noted that slamming an asteroid into the Earth’s crust with a nuclear pulse engine was still technically on the table. Insane is not a disqualifying factor.

iceland sits smack on theMid-Atlantic Ridge, where the earth’s crust tears open as the Eurasian Plate and the North American Plate drifts apart. New crust is formed along the entire central valley of the ridge, as magma wells up to fill the gap. However, most of this happens too deep under water to cause much problems. In Iceland, where the rift reaches above sea level, we see the evidence of this continuous volcanic activity. To stop volcanic activity in iceland, you would have to stop the tectonic plates from drifting apart. I guess the only way to keep the crust from periodically tearing open would be to keep a deep cut through the crust hot enough that it could widen continuously.

No need to destroy half the planet, just keep pumping seawater over it in an attempt to form a solid cap.

Shopping list:

  • Fleet of 100 supertanker-sized pumping ships.
  • Some handy lengths of pipe.
  • Vast army of genetically modified oompa-loompas, conditioned from birth to have a pathological hatred of volcanos. Oompa-loompas work 20-hour days, and spit on the very concept of health and safety (the spit can be collected and also poured over the volcano).

It just might be technically feasable to pump enough water to make a difference. Completely futile, as pressure will build up underground, and the next eruption will rip everything open again.

There’s a greater scheme?
And why shouldn’t we be selfish, it’s not like plate tectonics have feelings.

Considering the glacier on top of the volcano didn’t do much, and that other parts of the mid-atlantic ridge happily erupt with all of the Atlantic ocean trying to make a difference, it’s safe to say that it isn’t technically feasable to pump that much water.

My vote:

an undersea undermining effort. Yeah, you heard me: go down to the seabed, and start sawing Iceland off at its base. Dig and dig and dig until the whole goddam island crumbles into the sea. Imafokkinkillya can erupt all it wants now; it’ll still spew ash and lava, but it will do so at its new opening on the bottom of the ocean. Undersea volcanos erupt all the time without ill consequence for the human race, and this will be just one more.

The volcano will just make Iceland 2.0 if you do that (and I’m not sure a hundred feet of sea would adequately capture the ash and lava anyway, if it’s being expelled with great force and in great volume)

I’m pretty sure our best, most magnificent efforts to do anything would be a bit like trying to stop a tornado by spitting at it.

Iceland 2.0 would be, I think, centuries in the making. The crest of the mid-Atlantic ridge is about 8200 feet below sea level. I’m talking about cutting the island off at that depth.

When the undersea volcano builds to the point where it’s about to breach the surface again, you come back and trim it a second time.

Even if the whole of iceland was at sea level, you’re talking about digging away and removing 60-odd thousand cubic miles of rock. I don’t think our technologies are that scalable.

You guys are still all hung up on feasibility, I see. Now, my first thought on reading this:

was “giant C-clamp, then?”

OP said solutions must be “technically possible.” It may be large-scale, but there’s nothing magical about moving rocks underwater.

The crust isn’t strong enough to be stitched or clamped together - it would just tear afresh at the edges of whatever you try to join it with.