Brad
Ford Aspire - it aspires to be a real car, with enough room to hold your stuff &/or enough power to make it up the hill
Not an urban legend; nova translates to “no go” or “not going” in Spanish.
Every car with a number & an X in the name; since pretty much every manufacturer does it this way these days, your car is not unique & very easy to confuse with your competitors like-sounding model.
Hummer.
The Yugo! It didn’t go, either.
Neither did the Renault Encore. Ask me how I know about that. :o
No va does, not nova. The rumor was that the Nova didn’t sell well in Spanish speaking countries, and GM execs couldn’t figure out why, which isn’t true.
The Subaru Brat has a fairly unappealing name to start with, but that it displays its badge of shame on its C-pillar pushes it over the edge in my book. Also, it’s the official car in hell.
Pontiac Aztec (ass tick). “I know: let’s name a car after a race of bloodthirsty pagans who murdered hundreds of thousands of their own people in the name of their god! And we’ll also make it butt-ugly!”
Honda ‘Fit’. ::twitch::
You know how trim levels are usually given 2 or 3 letter combinations? I really want Ford to come out with the Taurus in the CLI level.
Ford Fiesta and Pinto both make me think of Taco Bell shits.
Honda Fit makes me think that the driver will engage you in a conversation for 2 hours straight about CrossFit and how their car has a very small carbon footprint.
My first car was a Chevrolet Celebrity. No celebrity, not even D-list, would be seen in that.
It’s a really nice truck, if you have $42,000+ to burn.
I hope it has ample trunk space that doesn’t muffle external radio signals.
It also reminds me of Provo, Utah. Nothing wrong with sounding like Mormon central, but not terribly exciting.
[quote=“Chefguy, post:27, topic:744981”]
Pontiac Aztec (ass tick). “I know: let’s name a car after a race of bloodthirsty pagans who murdered hundreds of thousands of their own people in the name of their god! And we’ll also make it butt-ugly!”
That car was so ugly they could’ve named it the Pontiac Blessed Mary Mother of Jesus and it wouldn’t have helped.
Jeep Wranger Rubicon. There’s no going back.
Nissan Juke brings to mind the Jukes and the Kalikaks.
A few hours of riding in the back seat of the Chevy Corsica will make you wonder why they didn’t call it the Sardinia.
Renault called their later Dauphines the Gordini, which I think means “little fat guy”.
I’ve always thought of the Mercury Mystique as the Mercury Mistake. Didn’t the car namer folks ever stop and think how similar those two words are?
And besides, what’s so mystique-y about it anyway? Maybe that annoying rattle or odd smell the mechanic could never find the source of? Or, maybe in a moment of extreme optimism they imagined this is the kind of car James Bond would drive on his days off from the espionage business. For running errands around town and such, you know. Who wouldn’t want a car James Bond would drive, after all?
You LOVED Brad. And then you totaled him.
In the 80s and 90s (when I was into motorbikes) Honda had some…unfortunate model designations.
At the time, in Australia, a very common form of slang was to abbreviate a rude expression by just using the initials (like WTF or RTFM today).
Anyway, I owned a Honda RS (RS in Honda-speak meant Racing Sports). ‘RS’ was slang for ‘Rat Sh*t’.
There were DH models - DH is slang for D*ck Head’
And, of course - FA models.
Brad wasn’t totaled. Brad committed suicide. Don’t name your car Brad.
Yeah, they really should have asked German engineer Felix Wankel to change his name.
And for the Gold medal in this category we present the late unlamented Merkur XR4Ti.
Make sure you get the upper/lowercasing correct on each letter. And don’t forget that “Merkur” is simply “Ford” in German, but reimported to the US for that Euro-cachet.
I think the OP was looking for plausible joke names, not actual ones like we’ve all been doing.
For my joke names I propose …
The Ford Fume. “Fume” actually sounds more like a modern Chevy name (e.g. Cruz), but the F’s just go better together. Maybe this one is involved in an emissions scandal.
The Kia Cemento. Not quick off the light.
The Hyundai Coloster. Vaguely poop-related, but you’re not sure how. In any case, change the bag every 200 miles.
My brother had a '76 Gutless. Huge on the outside, tiny on the inside, with no trunk space.
My favorite car names to hate:
- Kia Spectra. It’s plural!! Car names aren’t plural!!
- Nissan Armada. One vehicle does not make a fleet.
I throw up in my mouth a little every time I see a [del]Placenta[/del] Toyota Previa.