You’ve all seen them; lead male and lead female have nothing in common except they’re top billed in an action movie. At the end of the movie they kiss before the credits to let you know that it’s all going to be alright. If it’s a C-movie or lower there’ll probably be a sex scene somewhere where you get to see the lead actress’ boobies.
So! What’s your picks for dumbest handling of this common sub-plot?
Mine’s a game called Freedom Fighters, which is a lot more fun than you’d think. It’s basically Red Dawn the game. The whole thing’s very light on story and heavy on fun squad based action, which is a shame since you’d think it’d be easy to have fun with the concept of the USSR invading the US.
Anyway, at the end of the game after you save the day, the head of the resistance movement (a woman) and the main character (a man) kiss and walk off arm in arm… despite them spending any interaction in the course of the game talking briefly about the mission and that’s it – it would have made as much sense for the hero to walk off arm in arm with random squad mate #4.
But I’m sure there’s better, and cheesier, examples.
Gene Hackman and whatshername in Hoosiers, an otherwise great movie. The relationship doesn’t come out of nowhere, but since they have zero chemistry it feels like it.
Ghostbusters. And no, I don’t mean Rick Moranis & Sigourney Weaver, although my wife did laugh for a week because the geek got the girl before the “hero” did…
Reign of Fire. “Well, the real hero got et by a dragon, so I’ll shack up with this other guy.”
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in Hoosiers, an otherwise great movie. The relationship doesn’t come out of nowhere, but since they have zero chemistry it feels like it.
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I think they just wanted to establish that he wasn’t gay. After all, here’s a bachelor ex-seaman who spends all his time with boys…
Not an action movie, but all of Six Days, Seven Nights was built around this incredibly flimsy premise. Admittedly, the movie was nothing more than an excuse for Anne Heche to wander around in an equally flimsy halter top.
Speed was actually pretty bad in that respect. I won’t deny that Sandra Bullock was pretty hot but at the end of the movie, Keanu Reeves had put in a long, long day, destroyed millions of dollars of property, and had lost his partner and best buddy. I just don’t see him locking lips with Bullock in a happily-ever-after ending.
Born Yesterday, the original one with William Holden and Judy Holliday. They were both excellent in their roles, but they just didn’t click as a couple. William Holden’s character was too intelligent to fall for a dumbkopf like Judy Holliday, despite her “education” at his hands.
Here’s another video game one: Rebel Assault II. Yes, they spend most of the game together, but no romance is hinted at all until (one of) the end(ings), where Rookie One and Ru Murleen share a remarkably soulless kiss.
However, the game itself isn’t too bad, plotwise (for a video game, anyway), and if you know how to trigger the easter egg alternate subtitle track…
The emminently forgettable sitcom Caroline in the City. After a couple of seasons of giving her an on-again/off-again relationship with a boyfriend, they decided to have her fall in love with the one character all of the viewers had decided was gay.
Palmer Joss and Ellie in Contact. One of those stupid “We can’t have a movie without the main character having a romantic interest, so let’s have her fall in love with a random character from the book,” things, I guess. It didn’t help that Matthew McConaughey and Jodie Foster had less chemistry than any given square kilometer of a low-metallicity HI region. rimshot crickets
The excretable 2 Fast 2 Furious had a “wha-wha?” moment between Eva Mendes and Paul Walker, where they start kissing for no more apparent reason than they’re both hot-looking and would look good kissing. It would’ve made more sense for Walker’s character to end up with Tyrese’s character.
The Transporter Granted, the sex started more as a “Thank You” (aside: how come I never get thanked like that?), but you couldn’t find two characters more opposite.