Silly, but serious, answers you've given on surveys

I had a follow-up with my allergist yesterday and they were conducting some sort of survey. One of the last questions was something to the effect of “What was the best thing about your visit to our offices today?”

I wrote “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but the best thing about being here today was that I heard one of my all time favorite songs on the Muzak. Thanks for that little boost!”

What kinds of silly answers like that have you given on a survey? I don’t mean things like “Sex: Yes, please!” but instead honest, heartfelt answers that simply have nothing to do with what they wanted to hear.

Of course, the very last question on the survey was about how they could improve, and I ripped their scheduling staff to shreds, but that’s a different thread.

“Baker Street,” Gerry Rafferty

Oh, uh, let me preface this with – my kids don’t bring home surveys for school anymore for me to fill out, they just do them and turn them in for me.

My favorite is on the school survey, it always asks “What was the first language spoken by the child?” I always answer “baby talk.” When it asks, “What language is spoken in the home?” the answer is, “bad English.”

One time, I was at a doctor’s appointment (I think it was the surgeon who took out my gallbladder) and one of the questions was “What is your matial status?” Yep – martial. I answered “I am not enlisted in any branch of the military at current time.” When I turned in the form, the receptionist told me to sit down, blah blah blah. A few moments later, I hear “Whuuuuuh? Hey, Lisa, what the heck does this mean? Look at this!” Pause.

Confused Receptionist: Mrs. Litoris, can you come to the desk, please?
Me: :smiley: Whatcha need?
CR: We don’t need to know if you’re in the military, this question is asking if you are married.
Me: :rolleyes: Uhm, actually, I thought it was a very strange question, but it is in fact asking for my martial not marital status. Perhaps you could make sure that typo is fixed? I am married, by the way.
CR: :confused: :confused: :confused:

Just yesterday some survey-person-on-the-phone asked me my favorite hobby or sport. I said “sleeping”.

She burst out laughing but then said, ‘You know, if people would get more sleep they’d be healthier. I like your hobby.’

:smiley:

A political surveyor called some years back, asking about Jane Candidate (name changed to protect the guilty).

Amongst the questions and replies were:

Q: What do you like best about Jane?
A: Her fashion sense.
Q: What?
A: Her fashion sense. I saw her at some event a few weeks ago, and she looked really cute.
Q: Oh. What do you like least about her?
A: She’s corrupt and she’s stupid. It’s a deadly combination.
Q: How likely are you to vote for Jane?
A: I’d vote for my dog before I’d vote for Jane.

(No, I didn’t like Jane, can you tell? She was later indicted on corruption, bribery, and other charges. I felt vindicated.)

Q: Have you lived in America your whole life?
A: Not yet.

Well, last year my son’s teacher sent us a little questionnaire at the beginning of the year to help her get to know our kids. One of the questions was, “Does your child have any bad habits?” Since I was writing in pencil, I answered truthfully that he sometimes wipes with his underwear. When I returned it to my son, he signed his name and started to put it away in his backpack without even checking what I’d written. :eek:

I stopped him, and erased it real good. :slight_smile:

I work in medical research laboratories and i have to get annually screened for Q fever bc of the sheep. There was a question about how often do I handle animal waste and I responded “daily” since I pick up my dogs poop but the nurse laughed at me. I still don’t understand why that’s not a reasonable answer to the question.

Before Plan B was available OTC I had to go to the clinic to get it. I got the same nurse as I had last time I had something to deal with on my body and she asked me what I had done the past weekend. For some reason I thought she was asking for medical reasons and not just “catching up” with me so I was just like “i was having a ton of unprotected sex with my bf” and she just died laughing at me and said that she wished thats what she had been doing. Apparantly she just wnated to know if I had seen any good movies or something.

Back before the 2004 election, since I live in Ohio, I was regularly getting political surveys on the phone, asking my opinion on candidates and issues, then asking which way I was intending to vote. Of course, I was happy to give my opinion, and then to say that I had no intention of voting for anyone. (They didn’t have a question earlier in the survey about whether I was eligible to vote, and I’m not eligible, not being a US citizen).

And do you know what the fundamental difference between you and me is? I would have let him take it to school without erasing it. I am laughing so hard right now, I have tears running down my cheeks!

I try to add a little something to all our employee surveys for entertainment purposes. Last time, I suggested they build a gazebo/oasis on the roof for the nurses to hang out in on their breaks.

Posted by somebody named Dung Beetle, no less.

Pollster: “Do you own or rent your home?”

Me: “No.”

(The question was obviously intended as an either/or option, but since I was living at my parents’ house at the time, I answered truthfully.)

This thread reminds me of one of the better lines from West Wing.

POTUS is rushed to the hospital after the assassination attempt…

Doc: SIR! Do you have any medical conditions?
Bartlett: Well…I’ve been SHOT! :smiley: