The early worm gets eaten by the bird.
[Frank Drebin]Ah, the foot’s on the other hand, now![/Frank Drebin]
And one that I use all the time: “I had to make sure to dot all my T’s and cross all my I’s”
You’ve got a good face for radio.
I’d walk a mile for a cameo.
A fool and his money are just who I want to meet.
I don’t have a dog in that flight.
Neither a borrower nor a lender bean.
“No sooner said, the better!”
“It’s not rocket surgery.”
Really? I grew up, got married, and had a kid just so someday, when I see my teenager looking dolefully in the mirror at a zit, I can say this to her.
One that I always say, inadvertently:
“Well, that threw a monkey in the wrench!”
Better bedevil the known than to divide those yet to know.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy (attrib. to Dorothy Parker).
Let’s burn that bridge when we cross it.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you.
From my beloved high school math teacher: “Let’s kill two rocks with one bird.”
“It’s better to have loved and lost than to have watched reality TV.”
Oh, wow! I really love this one! It’s a big improvement over my heretofore version: “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.”
One I like but it’s not original: “He who lies down with dogs will wake up with fleas.”
I often say, “Let’s burn that bridge when we get to it”.
Birds of a feather wear the same clothes.
Familiarity breeds little familiars.
A bird in the bush is better than a badger in your pants.
G-U-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi, dyslexic!
You’ll get my arms when you pry them off my cold, dead, hands.
Sex is like pizza: when it’s good, it’s really good; when it’s bad you get the wrong topping.
I disagree with what you say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to be an idiot.
Guns don’t kill people; the bullets that come out of them do.
A waste is a terrible thing to mind.
Give me your tired, your sick, your poor, and I’ll never forgive you.
A penny saved is still only worth 1/100th of a dollar, so fuck it.
Death Rays don’t kill people. Mad Scientists with Death Rays kill people.
Early to bed, you’ll miss out on a lot of killer late parties.