My mother wants to know if she could use the postage machine to ship me across the U.S. via the USPS. I am aware this is one of the silliest questions ever asked in GQ, and may actually be an IMHO issue.
But, can she?
[sub]I asked three times if she wanted me to ask, really, and she said yes. So here we are.[/sub]
I tried to calculate the postage cost on the USPS web site and it said “I’m sorry, the weight may not exceed 70 pounds.” So I’d guess the answer is no. UPS has a more generous limit of 150 lb, but I still wouldn’t fit in it. The UPS Tariff has this to say about transporting animals:
I’m pretty sure UPS will not give you the written authorization to ship a live human being.
I wish I could give a cite, but I can’t remember where I heard this–it’s a supposedly a true story.
During the depression, a little girl was shipped to visit her grandmother as freight rather than a passenger. The mother consulted with the train conductor and they decided she could count as “baby chicks.”