Here you go, hon!!! Enjoy!!!
runs off, laughing
(Note: this is somthing from chat. However, she DOES rock. You’re wonderful hon. hugs)
That can be taken more than one way. Either way, I agree!
Well, fuck me sideways with a two-headed monkey! A PIT thread?! Well, at least now everyone has a place to bitch about me. Thanks, Falc!!!
Oh for the love of… I’m CLEARLY too tired and on too many painkillers tonight. I did NOT mean for this to be in the Pit.
Um, Alpha? Lynn? John? Someone? Could you move this to MPSIMS? Please?
Let’s see here… Silver Fire is a fucking goddess. Fucking goddess. Goddess of… Fucking goddess, goddess of fucking. And it took me at least 15 minutes to realize what that said!! Wow, I’m slow.
What, did you fuck her too?
:: fleeing ::
Yer pal,
Satan
*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Six months, five days, 3 hours, 35 minutes and 22 seconds.
7525 cigarettes not smoked, saving $940.75.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 5 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes.
I slept with a moderator!*
Damn this bad memory!! So, ummm, Satan? How was it? 
Silver, If any one takes you up on this I want the pictures !
So do any of our mens here on the Dope know where to get a two headed monkey ? 
The CenMinnDopaLooza is sounding more interesting all the time.
Well, I’ve got a two-headed monkey, but unfortunately I can’t make it to the Minnesota Dopefest. Of all the rotten luck! grumble grumble
Rysdad, you just don’t even know!
BlackKnight, FedEx that monkey post haste! I need to get some pictures for Ayesha! Now we just need a volunteer…
finds large box, marks it “Very Fragile, Handle With Care”, and pokes several air holes in the top
Do you think FedEx can ship both me and the monkey? Or do they have rules about that sort of thing?
Now I see why Silver is on her third screwdriver already.
ROFL Demo!! Umm, yeah. I really have nothing else to add.
In relation to two headed monkeys–Siamese monkeys?
I still regret the day I bought my two-headed monkey. You see, it had a personality disorder, one head thought he was a dude monkey (he called himself Lolo, go figure) while the other neck appendage conceptualized herself as a lady monkey (Lola, evidently). That in itself wouldn’t have been much of a problem hadn’t they fallen in love with each other–monkey narcissism?
Even that wouldn’t have been that bad had they not have been hermaphrodite. Boy, you can not imagine how disturbing it was to see those perverts fucking like crazy all day long. I remember once, and this is sick as it gets, when I was feeding Lola a banana and the sick fuck used it as a dildo because she wouldn’t wait for Lolo to regain the strength he had lost after his latest love encounter.
After that I couldn’t take it anymore and took them to the monkey shrink. She advised me to either castrate Lolo or put a chastity belt on Lola. That was yesterday, and I am still debating what to do. Any advice?
Prozac. Lots of it. Call me in the morning.
Mmmm… Prozac.
Hey, quasar, for some reason your post made me think of the Teletubbies. Anyway, can I borrow your monkey?
Time for Tubby Bye Bye! Time for Tubby Bye Bye!
[Exit to a pictue of a baby’s decapitated head scorched and melting in the center of a star.]
I’ll tell ya what, folks, for my money, it gets no funnier than flame-engulfed baby heads. Whoo!
[sub]Now lemme get this straight, Demo, you are directly responsible, are you not, for the upbringing of more than one child? I weep for the Republic.[/sub]
Demo
I meant advice concerning Lolo and Lola, not me. I am a hopeless case.:rolleyes:
Silver
Well, I dunno. Lolo and Lola are very attached to me. I am always very attentive to their little idiosyncrasies. They are very spoiled you know. What can I say? I love the little mutant. Hey, maybe you can move in with us.
But if you insist on borrowing them I must warn you that it will imply a whole change to your way of life. There is a great deal of responsibility on the shoulders of the owner of the only hermaphrodite, sexually hyperactive, siamese monkey in existence.
A short list of the choirs needed to keep Lolo and Lola pleased:
Buying a truckload of condoms for Lolo: he insists on wearing a condom whenever he does his thing. He is not very smart and has been easily manipulated by advertisers into using protection. Besides, he insists on them being custom built to fit his monkey anatomy. Not only that, he asks for a specific design showing Monica getting down on Clinton in the Roman Coliseum in front of 80000 rioting monkeys. I’m telling you, that monkey is nuts.
One more problem, he has very clumsy hands and thus can not put the condom in place by himself. So someone has to give him a hand, boy is that gross or what? Fortunately my grandma helps me out on that one. I tell her that she has to put the little balloon into the protrusion sticking out of the helium tank in order to inflate it. Since her eyesight is not that good and she has lost most of the feeling in her hands, she doesn’t note the difference. Or so I have been lead to think (more on that in a minute).
Hey, don’t look at me like that! I always buy her a balloon afterwards. She loves her balloons. And besides, there is always a suspicious smile brightening her face when she puts the condom on Lolo, I wonder if she….Nah, no way!
Although, on second thought, as far as I can tell it has been a while since she last got some action. Possibly Lolo is the closest thing to a pseudo-sexual contact that she has had since Grandpa left her to join the space program (or so he claimed). Well, that and her vibrator. She really drives me mad with that electric humming coming out of her bedroom late at night. Could all of this mean that…?
::Joey Triviani thinking pose on::
::Joey Triviani thinking pose still on::
::Joey Triviani amazed look on::
What? Nana? Lolo? How? When?
::calming down a bit::
Well, at least that explains why she always asks to take the balloon out after it has been inflated. Oh boy, I think I should really have a serious talk with Nana.
Anyway, back to the list:
Lolo and Lola have lousy hygienic habits and thus are usually pretty stinky. Don’t even try to give them a shower. They absolutely refuse any kind of contact with any liquids aside from bodily fluids, as you might have guessed. Those little sex-obsessed perverts.
They love to watch monkey porn. Among their favorites: King Kong invades Pussypolis, Gorillas in the mystifying land of the sexually mutated apes, Donkey Kong and the 7 penises, Tarzan meets the Gay Orangutanand of course the porno version of Planet of the Apes.
You know, after reviewing all the demands that they impose on me, I have thought it over. They are really a pain the ass. So, if you are still interested, you can have them.
BTW, Silver Fire Lolo and Lola love the Teletubbies. They usually stop whatever they are doing–usually fucking :rolleyes:–to watch the show.
Got to go now, I think Nana is giving Lolo a dirty look. :rolleyes: