Similes, Metaphors and Gender Identities

This was something new, a phenomenon for which there was no name.

Galileo saw that the small “stars” surrounding Jupiter were MOVING, following Jupiter in the sky and, furthermore, shifting in their relative locations. They were orbiting Jupiter. Jupiter had objects of its own that were like the earth’s moon!

“Moon”, at that time, was a term that specifically meant THE Moon, the one and only. Galileo did not, in fact originally refer to them as “moons”; in his first distributed description of his discovery, he called them “Medicean stars” (allegedly hoping this would please the powerful de Medici family).

That term didn’t stick. From our vantage point, it’s easy to see that calling them “stars” was a poor long-range choice, as they aren’t stars and don’t have much in common with stars aside from being points of light in the sky. And yet, even so, the rocky little objects orbiting between Mars and Jupiter are still called “asteroids”, which is almost as much of a misnomer, so it’s possible that “Medicean stars” could have hung on as the new term.

We could have given them entirely new names, of course, without repurposing any existing terms (with or without modifiers like “Medicean”). Or we could have said they were objects that were LIKE the Moon, although that doesn’t give them a name.

We call them “moons”. The original understanding of the word “moon” was modified, expanded from referencing only the ghostly galleon that illuminates the earthly sky so as to include these similar bodies that orbit other planets.

As you’ll recall from your English homework, calling the Moon a “ghostly galleon” is “using a metaphor”. Calling the objects orbiting Jupiter “stars” is also a sort of metaphor, and in the context where “Moon” specifically meant our moon, calling them “moons” is an application of language use that is cousin to the metaphor. Our own moon is not literally a galleon (or ghostly) nor are the objects orbiting Jupiter literally stars; our moon is also not identically the same thing as the moon that folks in Galileo’s time already knew, and to some people it might have seemed wrong to extend the meaning of “moon” to the new objects.

The success of a literary metaphor depends on the reader’s or audience’s tendency to embrace the compelling significance of what the compared items have in common. There’s always a certain tension between the “wrongness” of asserting an identity that the object doesn’t quite literally have, on the one hand, and the “rightness” of the observed similarity that makes us nod in recognition.

Successfully expanding the definition of a word–like “moon” to embrace the new Galilean objects–also involves a tension between the fact that the word’s original meaning did not include them versus the compelling similarities that makes such an expanded use resonate with us as sensible and appropriate.

Stating, on the other hand, that the Galilean objects surrounding Jupiter are like the Moon is “using a simile”. A simile avoids that tension; it doesn’t have that level on which it is using a word to mean something beyond the zone in which it has been applied before. Linguistically, it is a weaker formulation, because it comes with an implicit “except for”, a gesture towards the dissimilarities that may exist whether they are specifically laid out or not.

Suppose a feminine male person chooses to say “I am LIKE a girl” or “I am LIKE one of the women”. It is, on the one hand, a formulation less likely to provoke a response of “No you’re not” than the statements “I am one of the women” or “I’m a girl”. On the other hand, it’s weaker; hovering around it is an invisible codicil that says “except for these ways in which I’m not”. And it also doesn’t give a name to the speaker of the statement.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t used it, myself. In fact I’ve often said something to the effect of “I am a male who is like a girl or woman except for having a male body”. And because that doesn’t provide an identity-name (because, as I said, similes don’t), I’ve called myself various NEW things like “invert” or attempted to seize on other existing terms like “sissy”. But at a certain point in my life, a partner of mine listened at great length to my descriptions and my backstory and she nodded and said “Oh, I get it, you’re a girl!”

I liked it. It had a definite “cut to the chase” directness to it and it emphasized exactly the connection I wanted people to realize in their heads.

I do get those “no you’re not” responses from people. There are a lot of folks who resist the expanded word use, the claimed identity–some because they only consider people born female with XX chromosomes to be girls & women, some because they only consider people who are morphologically female to be girls & women, and some because they only consider people who represent themselves to other people as physically female to be girls & women.

Such attitudes are not exactly uncommon. Check out these opinions, in which folks reject anything other than a “two genders maximum” world, even among some who accept the validity of transgender people.

On the other side of things–our side of this argument–there is a lot of resentment among gender atypical, nonbinary, etc people about having our identities refused, our self-definitions rejected. I’m familiar with that firsthand: when someone does the “no you’re not” thing in response to my self-identification, yeah, it’s intrusively arrogant and sure as hell not reassuring when they attempt to explain to me who I am instead. But the goal, for me, isn’t really to get everyone to use my terminology. Well, OK, I do recognize that appearances may be to the contrary… I do have some ego investment and a fondness for the order and pattern I choose, so yeah I PREFER that folks use my terminology! It makes me angry when they refuse to! But even so, I’ll say it again: my primary goal isn’t to get everyone to use my terminology.

In your schema, in your way of seeing the world and categorizing things and so on, maybe my maleness is of more categorical importance to you than my femininity. If you prefer to conceptualize me as a “guy who is like a girl” in ways other than the physical, I don’t reject that formulation, even though I resent being contradicted. I suppose we do all tend to altercast other people within the privacy of our own heads, categorizing them into the identities we perceive them as.

But do not say I am just a guy who is like a girl. Do not say I am merely a male who has feminine characteristics. There’s no “just” or “merely” about it. In stating my identity I am making a big deal of it and saying this is a Difference, something that sets me and my experience apart. On that one, do me the courtesy of not rejecting that claim, at least not until you’ve taken time to hear my story.

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This a reposted blog post. Cleared with the moderators in advance.

I don’t make a habit of bumping my OPs if they don’t get a response, but I was really hoping for some discussion!

I think this is like standing on a street corner asking everyone who passes by who would win in a fight between Neelix and Quark and getting nothing but perplexed stares. I think that you need to find your metaphorical Star Trek convention for the kind of discussion you are hoping for.

I’m not exactly sure what you’re trying to get here but I’ll offer a response. The moons around Jupiter are moons. What do you want to call them? :slight_smile: More seriously, though, I don’t see gender as black and white (or boy and girl) any longer. I realize that there’s a million shades of grey between those two (seemingly) well-defined terms.

For a good part of my time on the planet there have been only 2 genders. Maybe 30 years or so ago, my mother befriended a gay guy and we’d see him often. I liked him and thought he was a great, fun guy. This was my first introduction to one with an “alternative lifestyle” (the title/phrase I (mistakenly) used at the time). About 5-6 years later I met my second gay friend who was roadracing motorcycles with me. We built a pretty good friendship as we battled on the racetrack and then shared beers and stories afterwards. Here was another guy who clearly identified as gay but we had a lot in common. He was also the first one to give me some perspective on how a gay man perceives how a straight man labels him. I kept joking with him as my “alternative lifestyle” buddy but one day he pulled me aside to explain that the phrase was somewhat insensitive and lacked a full understanding of him. From that encounter I began to understand that he’s human… that’s all.

Fast forward through the next 25 years full of news stories, friends, acquaintances, etc. It seems to me that sexual identity is as genetically random as any other human trait. That being said, when I meet someone who appears to be a woman, I don’t feel that I’ve done anything wrong by addressing them as ma’am. I’m also ready and willing to accept them as they are, so if they were to reply that they were male or otherwise, it wouldn’t affect the way I interact with them. I mean, I’d stumble over pronouns and such but that would eventually sort itself out. Ultimately, I think that one’s personality -your wit and charm and compassion- are much more important and engaging than appearance or genitalia.

I hope this rambling gave you something to rebut. At the very least, it should allow you to move the sidelines and better-define the playing field.

Actually, shunpiker, that’s pretty much how I handle such matters myself. Can’t find anything to rebut!

Well, if that’s settled, then I’d like to address the lone remaining question:

We all would, Darren. We all would.

Actually, they were stars, as “star” was the general term for luminous objects in the sky. The “planets” were the subset of stars that moved with respect to the other stars. The seven traditional planets were, in order, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Sun, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. When Galileo saw the moving objects near Jupiter, the accurate description of them (according to the terminology of the times) was “planet”. But instead, he made the revolutionary leap that they were orbiting Jupiter and not Earth, and suddenly Copernicus’ heliocentric paradigm made better sense than the traditional geocentric paradigm. Calling those objects “moons” was asserting a heliocentric position and a part of redefining what “star” and “planet” meant. (The debate over whether or not Pluto is a “planet” is the latest continuation of that process.)

Does that have anything to do with your question on gender labels? Yes, it does! Words evolve in meaning as the society that uses them changes. That sounds like a passive process, but it’s stronger than that. Word are tools actively used by people. Use of a word in a particular way asserts a world-view that supports the use of the word in that way. Just as Galileo is asserting a heliocentric view when using the word “moon” to describe the objects near Jupiter, use of gender labels also asserts particular paradigms.

This is not passive! People are often very attached to their world views. Changing how one categorizes the world is difficult enough, if cultural norms or moral values are attached to the terms used, it’s almost impossible to change. Revolutionary scientific theories often aren’t accepted until the old guard fades away. It’s much the same with cultural values. So it’s really no surprise when people push back (or worse) against words that assert a paradigm that they do not accept.

The anger over conflicting views is natural for all involved. The only way through it is open communication with everyone listening to everyone else. They need to understand why you categorize and label the way you do. And why it hurts to have that denied. Likewise, you have to understand their attachment to their categories. It’s not easy.

I’ll also note that humans have an irresistible urge to categorize the world. Everything has to be named and put into a mental box. Horror movies take advantage of that by presenting things that defy categorization–and it scares us at a subconscious level. Once we can identify what is going on, the fear is rationalized and is resolved into thrill.

More accurately, there are a million shades of color between them, and that’s still far short of the reality. If it were shades of gray, then you could take any set of people, and say A is more masculine than B, but more feminine than C, and so on. But in reality, there are many different dimensions involved here, so that A might be more feminine than B in some ways and more masculine than B in others, just like one color might be brighter than another in the green channel but dimmer in the red channel. Gender is, after all, part of biology, and biology is always complicated.

Thanks pleonast! That was interesting history and yes, it dovetails nicely into the (metaphorical) analogy I was using that history for!

Chronos that also is an interesting and relevant point. Masculinity and femininity are not opposites like “right” and “left”; in some ways they are more like “sweet” and “salty” where a person can be more of one, more of the other, a lot of both, or essentially neither.

Interestingly, I had that same thought as I typed. I had already gone with black/white so the grey analogy followed. However, I agree that the many colors fits better.

[ramble]Well here’s a thing I have wondered about. In dog shows, following the breed standards, most breed standards have somewhere in there that a male dog should look like a male, and a female dog should look like a female. And I just don’t see it, and I have never seen it.

Some random dog on the street that I don’t know. Well, if it’s a shorthaired breed, I could probably tell pretty quickly its sex. But if it’s a fluffy one, a herding dog, a husky, a Pomeranian, a Lhasa Apso–then until I know it, I have no clue the sex of that dog. (So I would be a very bad judge at a dog show I guess.)

However, once the dog has been identified to me as to its proper sex then it might look to me more or less like a girl dog. (Except boxers. They never look like girls to me.) But this is only in context and for the duration of the interaction with the dog. I can look at pictures of dogs in my past and not be sure whether it was one dog, which was female, or the other, except by context, such as where we lived or the age of any kid in the picture. (I guess my dogs wouldn’t do so well at dog shows either; anyway they’re always mutts.)

With people, there’s not usually that problem. Well, except for very young people–and again, once you know the baby is a girl, then it starts looking more like a girl. Usually, you can instantly tell whether someone’s male or female, and even if you got it wrong, what does it matter? And once you know, it changes the way you look at that kid, even if the kid is only two days old.

Well, it seems to matter a good deal to some dog owners, and even more to some parents. Or I mean, it matters to more parents than dog owners. Something like that. People really do want to categorize, and some people get upset if you categorize wrong, even though it’s usually just a mistake and means nothing to the person doing the categorizing.[/ramble]