Simon Cowell sez "I'm both single and available"

The most hated man on TV is looking for love!

Well, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers.

“That date was horrible. The kiss came in too late, and the food was unappetizing. It was one-night stand good, but not soul mate good.”

“The ENQUIRER”… almost as reliable as CNN


It’s very well known in Britain that Mr Cowell is a batchelor of the confirmed kind.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that mind (subject to the usual horse-frightening proviso)

owlstretchingtime, if that euphemism means what I believe it does, that doesn’t preclude Cowell from wanting a little love.

Why am I suddenly mindful of gay bees?

(Points to anyone who can explain that reference.)

THe thing about our Simon is that whilst he is not the marrying kind he point blank refuses to admit it, even going to the lengths of employing English PR guru Max Clifford to plant stories in the Red Tops about his “conquests” of lap dancers at Spearmint Rhino (another Clifford client).

No problem with him “looking for love” but he could be a bit more honest.

No doubt he feels that if he “came out” (when it’s an open secret anyway) he might damage Pop Idol in the USA.

And to my knowledge the horses are resolutely unfrightened by all of this.

Perhaps he could marry the woman who married Freddie Mercury?

Jon Lovitz imitating Harvey Fierstein on SNL–where are my points.

I’m just a Yank, but I could have told you simon was a big queen. No straight guy could be that bitchy. He is one handsome man, though–I’d do him.