I don’t remember. Damnit, now I’m going to have to try again. And fail again. And collapse in a sobbing mess in the middle of the floor while my boyfriend eats a burnt cookie just to make me feel better. See what you did?
I can use chopsticks and carry a tune.
I cannot park. At all. Nor can I skate. I am terrible at remembering faces out of context. I am also terrible at numbers, whether dates or phone numbers.
Oh, I thought of another one. I can usually remember faces out of context but I have a bear of a time recognizing voices over the phone. I can usually get my immediate family but outside of that I often have a lot of trouble. Don’t just start talking, tell me who you are! Thank Og for caller ID.
Oh, I agree. I can never see those Magic Eye pictures. There’s just nothing there.
I can’t whistle by blowing out, I have to suck in. (waits for dirty jokes to stop.) But I can whistle for a taxi like that, or whistle a tune.
But I can’t whistle by putting my fingers in my mouth. I always thought that was so cool, but I just can’t do it.
I also can’t eat with chopsticks. I end up flinging food everywhere.
This sounds as if you may actually have something not quite right in the right side of your brain. If you’re interested in pursuing it, get thee to a neurologist. However, since you’ve been this way all your life, I suspect whatever it is is congenital and obviously not a major issue for you.
I can’t use handbrakes on a bicycle. Only coaster brakes. Also really can’t handle multiple gears. Odd, because I drive standard transmission by choice.
I can whistle a tune rather unimpressively, but can’t finger whistle.
I can riffle-shuffle a pack of cards, but only at the corner, not at the center of the side like most folks. I can’t do the other kind of shuffle at all.
I can make a pie from scratch, but can’t a get decent cake to come out to save my life.
I’ve never been able to ski (not that I’ve tried much), and I can’t skate for beans. Basically the only thing I can do (other than walk, and that’s in question some times!) that requires anything in the way of balance is to ride a bike. This may also be a neurological deficiency, or an inner ear problem. Or it may be that I’m simply an idiot.
I’m amazed by the number of us that can’t use chopsticks.
See, I have problems with forks. I chase things all over the place with forks. Spoons sometimes, too. Gimme chopsticks, though, I’m good to go.
Which is funny, cos I’m gweilo/gaijin/white and born in Idaho… Can’t play guitar to save my life, my handwriting is horrible, and I’ve been known to pokemyself in the eye while trying to scratch my nose…
But damnit, I can use chopsticks!
I welcome our chopstick-using overlords.
Well, on the points that everyone has mentioned so far:
I can just about use chopsticks if I hold them the wrong way. I can get food from the plate to my mouth without mishap if I hold one like a pencil and “back it up” with the other one, but I can’t follow the approved technique of keeping the lower one fixed against my thumb and moving the upper one with my middle finger.
I can whistle, but not with my fingers in my mouth. I’m completely tone deaf, so I wouldn’t know if I was able to whistle a tune, or not. This also renders me incapable of appreciating music. 
I can snap my fingers on my left hand, but not my right. I can’t snap them on either hand without using my thumb, though.
I can’t write legibly - I think this may be because I’m left-handed, but wasn’t allowed to use my left hand at school. I could probably learn to write legibly from scratch using my left hand, but the computer has made it unnecessary for me.
I find it difficult to remember things (names, telephone numbers, dates) unless I’ve seen them written down. Another advantage of doing most of my personal interaction over the 'net.
I always have to correct my spelling of “successful” (from “sucessful”), “remember” (from “remeber”) and “separate” (from “seperate”), no matter how many times I have to do it.
I can tie knots in balloons, but only by using two fingers instead of one.
I don’t remember things that are important to other people. Like " Half day of school." kinda stuff. I write it down on the calendar, but I never look at it again.
Besides, I have a friend and a husband who have brains built for that kind of brain cluttering nonsense.
I can’t buy clothing off the rack at a major department store. It never looks right on me and the prices ( even on clearance) offend my delicate tightwaddery.
However, I can waltz into the Salvation Army/Goodwills and find 3 ball gowns in my size for $30 total. Every freaking time. I scare myself sometimes.
I can use chopsticks like a demon, even to the point of finding the easier than a fork, and using them to pick up tiny screws and things that I’ve dropped inside an opened up appliance. I can swim like a fish, drive a manual transmission, park vehicle in any spot first go, and I can wrap a present okay (by guy standards).
But alas I can’t:
- Slice stuff straight. Whether I’m slicing a loaf of bread, cutting a salami, or sawing off a length of wood, I cannot keep the blade vertical. Most of the time the knife will come out halfway down, giving me a thin sliver instead of a slice, or it will dig further in, giving me an ugly wedge.
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Do the two-finger whistle (my dad tells an anecdote about a kid who couldn’t do this either, but kept trying and trying to crack it, until out of habit, he would try without even realising it. One day he finally nailed the skill - in church
). - Shuffle cards. Not ever. Not even a bit. It’s like trying to pass two bricks through one another. Two solid objects, space-time contimuum, etc. No can do.
- Somersault. Well, I haven’t tried this since I was about twelve years old, but back then we were frequently required to do it as part of PE activities at school. My brain just refused to accept having the entire universe flip completely around like that, and I’d bug out of the somersault halfway through. I would get in trouble for this, but I simply could not do it.
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Understand the object and rules of euchre, or fail to completely retain my temper with anybody brave enough to try and teach me (there have been three or four of these poor souls over the years).
“You should put that card on top of this one.”
“Why? I can’t see any relationship between them.”
“Because it’s the right bower”
“Sorry, can you run that bower business by me again?”
“It’s these cards.”
“But what’s different about them?”
“They’re the bower.”
“Sorry, I’m going to have to shoot you.”
The game consists of throwing half the deck away, then putting the remaining cards on top of one another in a fashion completely unrelated to numerical order, suit, colour… And people tell me it’s the greatest cards game there is. Me, I’ll stick to poker. - Finding a good deal I seem to pay too much for everything.
- Can’t sit Indian-style No freakin’ way. I am not nearly nimble enough. I could as a child though.
Considering my penchant for thread-killing, I felt it was only fair I would be the last poster!
[ol]
[li]Cartwheels - there is just something wrong with me that I am unable to throw my legs over my body in this way. I am determined to learn though. I may break a hip someday trying to master it[/li][li]Whistle with my fingers in my mouth. I have tried, and just get my hands all drooly[/li][/ol]
That’s it, I can do everything else.
Aw, I pity you, Popsyn, so I’ll post after you. 
Ok, I can’t swim, shuffle cards, eat with chopsticks, do the fingers in the mouth whistle, do a cartwheel, or parallel park. I am pretty sure I could learn chopsticks and parallel parking if I tried. I found some online instructions (Google Answers: whistling) for the whistle with fingers, I doubt it will work, but I accidentally figured out how to whistle one day in the first grade so you never know.
Ahem, Poysyn. Sorry about that.
I have the same problem! It’s worse if I try to watch a black and white movie- in those, the people look even more similar.
I knew you were going to say that.
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And watch out, I’m right behind you .
I’m standard-issue tragically uncoordinated. I fall down a lot, for a grownup. Can’t clap in time to a song (dance okay, though, oddly), skate, ski, drive an automatic, do a cartwheel, catch, hit a moving object with something else and if I try to jump off something high (like into the water) my. legs. simply. do. not. work. I’d love to wake up tomorrow and be able to do these things. sigh When I was a kid, my gym teacher told my mom I was physically retarded. (Nice, eh?) I hated gym class, not surprisingly.
I’d be happy to wrap your presents (beautifully) if you all could just…walk for me?
That would be drive a standard, of course. Apparently I don’t exactly have the whole thinking thing down, either. :rolleyes:
That’s what I was going to say. And I have a mini-van. Just can’t parallel park it. I almost never have to and I figure it’s because it’s so long or something.
Took me forever to see those magic eye pictures too but I eventually did. Same with rolling my Rs. I spent almost a whole summer in Costa Rica as an exchange student before I finally got it. But now that I know I can always do it.
I also can’t ski. I tried, just can’t seem to stay up for very long. As soon as I’d try to turn, down I’d go. It’s easy they’d tell me. Jut put your weight on one ski so I’d lean a little and plop, I’m on the ground.
I can’t snap or whistle loudly (though I can whistle pretty well otherwise), or do a handstand or cartwheel, or roll my Rs for more than a split second (sucks for Spanish and more colliquial Japanese), or do that thing where you flip a pencil around in your fingers, or do the breaststroke/butterfly stoke, or curl my hand in half vertically like people do to put on those little jade bangles, or as of yet, drive a stick, parallel park on a hill in one try or make decent sweet & sour sauce that doesn’t take like ketchup. sigh
This is me. I actually do have very long hair–down to my waist–but if I try to do anything besides a simple ponytail, it doesn’t work. My mother used to French-braid my hair when I was very young, then I got two brothers and she didn’t have time for it anymore. Even worse, she never even tried to teach me how to do it. I can only do a bun if I use cafeteria-lady hair nets.
I’m definitely in the “can’t whistle” club. I can get a very small amount of windy sound out, but nothing like a true whistle–definitely no recognizable tunes.
I not only can’t see Magic Eye pictures, but I also can’t see 3D movies in 3D. I just see the red and green fluff that’s supposed to look 3D, even when I’m wearing the stupid glasses. This is probably because I have persistent double vision–the only way my brain can filter the binocular images into a single view is by blocking out the sight of one of the eyes. With therapy, I’ve learned to have control over which eye is “active,” so I don’t completely lose either of them, but they will probably never learn to cooperate with each other very well. (Yes, my depth perception is bad.)
I can use chopsticks. In fact, I have a 14yo daughter who uses only chopsticks, regardless of what kind of food she is eating. She even eats tortellini and couscous dishes with chopsticks. Her 11yo brother refuses to even try, though.
I am also a wizard at wrapping packages. When I was in high school, I used to spend more time wrapping and decorating Christmas presents than I did actually choosing the gift. I married a guy with virtually no wrapping skills, though, and between him and the kids, I’ve had to learn to accept something less than perfection in the gifts under the Christmas tree. (I even took a job one Christmas season where all I had to do was wrap other peoples’ presents!)
I, too, am unable to even remotely get a magic eye thingy to work.
I’m a good cook, but good Lord every time I have tried to make guacamole it was a disaster. I have tried several recipes, to the damn letter, even Alton Brown’s recipe! But alas, I am destined to be homemade guacamole-less.
I can’t roll my tongue up into a little tube, though I hear this is a genetic thing, so I don’t feel so bad, knowing that it’s not a little “trick” I’m not getting.
I am horrendous with names. Great with faces, I can remember the face of someone I had gym class with in first grade, and even recognize them today, yet their name will be lost to me. I will meet someone and two minutes later forget their name.
Not sure this counts, but the one that makes me insane is that I simply cannot learn to read staff music. I mean, even both bass and treble cleffs is just two dozen or so positions to memorize, about the same as the alphabet. Will not map. Have to do it by brute memory, note-by-note, every time. Have tried for years. No success. Did I mention this makes me insane?
For me the funny thing about chopsticks is that I’m completely ambidextrous. Can hammer, throw a ball, use a mouse, etc. with either hand. Chopsticks, though, is lefty only. In my right, helpless.