I cannot estimate any sort of physical measurement to save my life. Volume, distance, shirt size… Three feet might as well be three miles or three yards, for all I know. Gallons or tablespoons? Forget about it!
What about you?
I’m hopeless at catching anything. Whenever something is thrown to me, I almost always drop it.
I cannot whistle. Or pick up women.
I can’t snap my fingers. You don’t really think about how useful that can be unless you’re one of the few people who can’t do it.
I can’t swim. Three years of swimming lessons, and I still sink like a rock.
Every time this thread is made, endless amounts of people submit “I can’t whistle/snap”. Could we *please * leave those out this time around?! Last time, it amounted to about 3 pages of people saying just those two things.
I can’t parallel park. There have been occasions when I’ve gotten out of the car and let whoever was with me do it instead.
I also can’t swim underwater without holding my nose, but since I haven’t been swimming in about 15 years, that’s not really an issue.
I am a retail manager…
that means that I have to count out and count in multiple tills with a float of $200.00 each… several times each day… and they HAVE to be accurate.
I am SOO bad at counting change that … well its a night mare…
sad thing is thjat the closest thing I have to a degree is in theoretical math/symbolic logic.
Reason I get screwed up is that I transform the count to the base of the value counted (nickles get counted in base 5, quarters in base 25, etc)
its easy enough to tranform back… unless I get interupted… which I almost always do… being a manager…
regards
FML
I can’t wrap presents. I mean, I can get them covered with paper and they look sort of Ok until you flip them over. They are just a wadded up mess of paper with lots of tape on the bottom. I really try. It doesn’t look that hard but I always end up with the result being my own kind of pathetic cheating.
I can’t walk down stairs without watching my feet.
[ul]
[li]I can’t swim, because I’m hydrophobic.[/li][li]I can’t drive, because I have never bothered to learn. And I’m somewhat afraid to negotiate traffic.[/li][li]I can’t understand weight measurement, or distinguish the difference between weight and mass.[/li][li]I can’t sew. My fingers seem to be incapable of such delicate manipulation.[/li][li]Like Shagnasty, I also can’t wrap presents. It may as well be advanced origami.[/li][/ul]
I can’t slice stuff like bread or cheese (and similarly, I can’t saw wood). Either the knife comes out halfway down and I get an ultra-thin sliver, or it goes in and I get an ugly wedge. It NEVER goes straight down.
I can’t count stuff if I have to do it slowly. I used to have to count mailbags going past on a conveyor belt. About one every five or ten seconds. This was enough time between bags for me to start thinking about steam locomotives, or beer, or Ford gearboxes or something more important. Stuff going by fast, I can count easily.
I can’t write my name. (Looking over before hitting the post button, I think I should clarify: in the sense of using cursive to inscribe my name.)
I can write fairly well for someone who rarely has reason to use cursive. I can also print my name. But if I try to combine the two, my brain switches gears to “automatic” and forces my hand to put down a completely illegible scrawl that looks more like something from a seismograph.
I worked a job for several years that required me to sign my name a few hundred times a day, and was also very fast-paced. My signature devolved over that time-- it was necessary to get the signature done in a split second to attend to other matters-- and has never recovered. I now marvel at how much time people spend on signing their names. If I’m behind someone who’s signing a credit card terminal, I’ll watch with jealousy as they spend 10 seconds or so getting it to look just right.
For some reason I suck at counting money (like in a count-down-the-register environment.) When I worked retail we’d close with two people and we were each supposed to count the register, but they just had me initial the other guy’s count.
I also can’t estimate distances. How many miles? Hell if I know. And, men, PLEASE DO NOT give directions like “Go half a mile”. Tell me to turn at the Krispy Kreme. Thank you.
I can’t navigate.
I can’t find my way out of a paper bag. My sense of direction is deplorable. I once got lost in my college dorm after living there for 3 years. I’ve gotten lost to and from work before after making the same route 1000 times. There are times where I suddenly panic and think I’ve made a wrong turn because I don’t recognize where I am, only to find my exit 2 miles later and realize I just never paid attention to that particular stretch of road before. I once attended a lecture in a university basement, and when we left had no idea whether to go up or down to get back to ground floor. If you tell me to ‘‘head North’’ you will get the blankest stare you’ve ever seen in your life.
Being directionally impaired used to be a significant challenge for me – until I bought a GPS system. TomTom has changed my life forever.
I absolutely cannot read lips. When someone tries to mouth something private to me, it is utterly in vain.
I don’t have memorized how to tie a tie. A year can go by without my needing to wear one. Everytime I do I have to look up on a website how to tie it.
My god we must be related.
This is me all the way, right down to the panic I feel when I think for even a split second I am lost. I have no sense of direction whatsoever. East? What direction is that? I avoid any online maps that tell me to turn with any words other than right or left. Even with a map I am scared to drive anywhere I have never been. Roads change names and exits disappear.
I thank my lucky stars that my BF seems to know where he is going even if he has never been there before.
To add to the thread.
I can not say thermometer. It always comes out wrong. That word tonge ties me like no other.
I can’t swim. I can’t navigate.
At least I can cook, sew, and drive a nail.
I can’t smalltalk.
And add to that a sense of direction. I can barely reverse written directions to get myself home.
GPS is my friend. 