Sin City

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve just returned from four days and nights in Sin City, USA, Las Vegas. I feel confident that in my time there I’ve seen the very basest of human experience. I have been to Babylon, and let me tell you it’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Here are a few of the sights your local travel agent won’t tell you about:

[ul]
[li]Poor slobs laid off from massive corporations with negligible pensions waiting for them, blowing their welfare checks on nickel slots. [/li][li]Vampiric prostitutes pounding the pavements and patrolling the bars in search of fresh meat to market their silicone wares, and the diamond clad pimps that smack their asses like thoroughbreds goaded onto the hunt. [/li][li]Waifish sluts who sell their bodies for Spago dinners and Louis Vuitton bags instead of demanding the cash in advance. [/li][li]Freshly permed, Eurotrash octogenarians still lost in a disco era coke binge with a pair of supermodels serving as footstools. [/li][li]Maze-like gambling floors, that exist independent of time and space, that Stephen Hawking couldn’t diagram without inventing several new dimensions.[/li][li]Peckerwood Texan cowpoke drunk on the splendor of $4.95 prime rib dinners and miniskirt clad porn stars bringing them free glasses of watered down Jim Bean, hollering, “let’s fuck that Saddam right in his dirty, sand nigger ass!” [/li][li]Honest folk from Minnesota taken in by the spectacle of gay, tiger loving, Germans, who think hitting a 15 against a 6 is a good bet, happy just to get out of the fucking cold for a while. [/li][li]Drug dealing UNLV students who keep the party hopped up on the chemical assistance the casinos don’t provide. [/li][li]Cigar chomping, east-coasters, who thumb their noses at the proletariat on their way to bigger and better parties, where the steak comes from actual cows and the coke contains actual coke.[/li][li]The legions of rent-a-cops who look the other way while paying customers beat their girlfriends and blow lines in the gold trimmed bathrooms. [/li][li]Surly and obese grey hairs ruling over the old Hilton like an invading colony from Boca.[/li][li]Pakistani cab drivers reading, “Islam: The Rising Storm” as they shuttle people wearing God Bless America t-shirts from one den of inequity to another.[/li][/ul]

Despite all the crazy shit that serves for daily routine in Vegas, it was a fun trip. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy all you can eat shrimp and crab for $9, winning $100 at a black jack table, cheap limo rides with cheaper champagne to the Crazy Horse, or partying until dawn, but in Vegas everything has it’s price, keep your hand on your wallet and your eye on your dick, cuz you never know who’s gunning for either. And all you nice, chaste ladies… do your fathers a favor and just stay home.

2

Your travel agent might not tell you this stuff, but I think it’s about what everyone in the world expects from Vegas. Your post was nicely written, but I’m not sure I understand what your point was.

I was there for a week a few years ago, and was actually surprised that I didn’t see quite as much of this as I expected. You obviously made better use of your four day package than I did of my seven day one. :slight_smile:

3

My point was:

Vegas: “fun in the sun” or “sign of the apocalypse” ?

You make the call

4

Man, that sounds kickass! I can’t wait to go there now. You should work for the chamber of commerce. Tell me more about the whores.

5

For starters, if you’re at a club, and it doesn’t matter if it’s the nicest club in Vegas (which would be Light at the Bellagio) and you and a buddy walk up to two scantily clad women and strike up a conversation there are a few tell tale signs that they are working girls.

  1. They tell you how attractive you are even though you have a face that frequently sends small children into comas.
  2. They tell you they are elementary school teachers.
  3. They ask for two C notes to grease your weasel in the men’s room.

But even then, you can’t be sure. They might just be dirty, disease-ridden sluts. Or worse, dirty sluts from Texas. Basically, assume everyone is out to fuck you in one way or another and you won’t be disappointed.

6

One other thing, to all the parents who brought along their kids to this “family friendly” destination, you need your fucking heads examined.

7

That one I’ll give you. So now there’s a few roller coasters. BFD. Take your kids to Disney World. Save Las Vegas for when you need to leave the kids with the grandparents and have some mommy-daddy-decadence time.

8

And me thinking this would be about Frank Miller…

Too much time at Cafe Society I guess.

9

You forgot the people who line the sidewalks handing out “baseball cards” with pictures of protitutes - some who advertise “afternoon specials”.

10

I’m just curious what you were expecting.

I mean, what can you ask from a city where their current advertising scheme is, “What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas!”

(Incidentally… those guys handing out the call girl ads were what REALLY got to me the last time <smack smack-- hands out ad>)

11

What was I expecting? I was expecting gambling, sex, drugs, and alcohol, and lord knows I found it… and enjoyed it. Like I said, nice place to visit…

What I wasn’t expecting (but should have) were thousands of people living like wretched, depraved animals. Human life has more value in Malaysian sweatshops and Vietnamese POW camps. I don’t know how anyone can live there without losing any sense or compassion, decency, or normalcy. It would be like moving to fucking Candy Land on acid.

“Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” Thompson wasn’t making that shit up.

12

Man, that post made me miss Vegas!

Although I’m really more of a “Reno” kinda guy.

(Actually, I’m more of a “Tonopah”, “Carson”, or “Elko” kinda guy.)

Nonetheless, here’s a vote for “fun in the sun.”

13

Las Vegas. Sin City.

Yeah, right. :slight_smile:

14

I’ve been to both cities. I would love to live in the Reno area. As far as LV, its a great place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to raise a family there.

15

When I had money to blow all the time a few years ago, there wasn’t much of this sort of thing going one either. Things have changed, however. The stock market is down, people are broke, laid off, depressed, lost, drunk, drug-addled.

Tons of things change in 4 years. Back then it was “high-time”. People had money, were happy, had great stock options, and could pay their bills. Now people drown their sorrows in drugs, alcohol and filth.

It’ll get a lot worse before it gets any better.

Sam

16

Wow, cainxinth, nice way to dis my city.

I love living in Vegas. It has everything one could want. Cheap, good food. Entertainment all the time. And, for the males, scantily clad waitresses.

I admit there are some downsides though I have to wonder where you went and saw “legions of rent-a-cops who look the other way while paying customers beat their girlfriends and blow lines in the gold trimmed bathrooms” and “Vampiric prostitutes pounding the pavements and patrolling the bars in search of fresh meat to market their silicone wares”. I live here and worked at Mandalay Bay and never seen anything close to what you describe.

In fact, I’ll take you on point by point:

Well, Poor slobs in other cities with negligible pensions blow there money on booze and sluts. Poor slobs who do stupid things is not limited to Vegas.

Hey, check out Central Ave. in Albuquerque N.M.and you’ll find the same thing. It happens everywhere. Hell, just watch Cops.

Gee, young women attaching themselves to old rich men. Yup, that can only happen in Vegas. :slight_smile:

Well, I’ll give you this one. The floors are designed to draw people in.

So you are blaming Vegas for stupid Texans? Or do just dislike the idea of Saddam getting it in the ass? (Note, I built a web site for a Porn star and, trust me on this, Porn stars do not need to serve drinks to increase their income)

Well, alot of people are bad at math. If you don’t believe me take a look at how many people play the lottery.

So only UNLV students deal drugs? Get real. The drug problem is about the same everywhere in the US. (Note, I really doubt you saw anyone deal drugs in a casino. The casinos survillance is so tight that there is no way security would miss a dealer on the floor)

Ah, so rude east-coasters become rude only when they enter Vegas. I don’t think so.

Err, DING DING DING. We have a loser. The security in Casinos is about the tightest you will find (At least in the public areas). I know that if a patron started beating his wife or doing drugs in the open that guy would be hogtied and put in the detention room faster than you would believe. Actually, casinos are probably the safest places in Vegas. Everything is monitored by video cameras except bathrooms. There would be cams in the bathrooms but there is the privacy issue. (Note, I used to go to lunch with the head of Mandalay Bays Security department all the time when I worked there)

So, what you are basically saying is that old people suck? Is that right? Idiot.

Well, hell, I guess all Pakistani people must be evil. Good call on that you FUCKTARD.

Slee

17

Slee, take a chill pill man, I’m sure a UNLV student could find one for you. I said I liked Vegas, just that it was a fucking depraved town, and it is. Sure people do stupid, nasty shit all over the world, but in Vegas they seems more like heralded features than social problems.

Hermann summed up my thoughts:

BTW, all the shit we’ve been talking about so far takes place on the strip, where everything is relatively clean and safe. God only fucking knows the depths sordid debauchery going on in the forbidden zone behind the Stratophallus. Satan worship and human sacrifice I imagine. Where else could all that $4.95 prime rib be coming from in the middle of the desert?

Also, while in Vegas I wondered what the place might look like say 50 or 100 years from now, something tells me they will take heed of the tech industry and start “converging” their services. Casino tables will have prostitutes built right into them with glory holes at each position, IV’s will supply a steady stream of prime rib puree, bourbon, uppers, downers, and hallucinogens as requested, and chairs will have toilet plumbing installed so you can get off the plane, sit down and not get up until you have to leave a week later.

Hmm… I’m off to patent the Gamblo-Pod 3000.

18

I spend about 3 months a year out there in 2-3 week stays. Do the big shows, eat in nice restaurants, occasionally do a buffet, get talked into thrill rides every once in a while, head over to Pahrump, watch some bad minor league ball (and , eh, college ball), snicker as the local boosters predict the Vegas Bowl will be up there with the big boys real soon (could the stands get any emptier?), etc, etc, etc…

That’s what makes Vegas great. You want an adult experience - you got it. You want a family experience - it’s there if you want it.

I invite you to Baltimore.

19

Okay, let me say for the record that I have no problem with gay Germans. But tiger lovers??? Those sick bastards should die, Die, Die!!

20

It’s one of the weirdest places I’ve ever been to, although the people seemed friendly enough when I first got there. As I was walking around this really cute chick came up and started talking to me, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what langauge she was speaking. Then, all of a sudden, she started tickling me! Strange, I thought, but I was ok with this until some guy came out of nowhere, slapped me across the face, started shouting at me in whatever language the woman had been speaking, and then walked off! And to top it all off, as all this was going on, nobody around us acted like they saw a thing.

The restaurants? Forget them. Everywhere I went, the menus had almost nothing to choose from, and the prices were outrageous. I mean, c’mon, 20 for a freakin’ hot dog? I don’t suppose it matters, though, since I lost my appetite after seeing how the other guests were behaving. This one guy was walking through the lobby when he just squatted down and wet himself right there in the middle of the room, even though there was a bathroom not 10 feet away. He just stood there for a few minutes afterwards with his head in his hands sobbing, but then without a word he walked off, leaving this giant puddle in the middle of the rug! What the hell kind of adult behaves like this? I tried complaining to the restaurant staff, but they refused to even talk to me. Unless you were going to buy something from them, they acted like you didn’t even exist.

The last straw came when I went for a stroll outside. There was a woman there who every once in a while would stagger, start shouting some incoherent nonsense up the sky, then keep walking again. After doing this a few times, she suddenly collapsed right there on the sidewalk. Even though there were at least half a dozen people around her, none of them stopped to help her. They all just went right on their way, not paying the least bit of attention to this poor woman who, for all they know, is dying at their feet. I ran over to where she was lying, grabbed a passerby and told her to call an ambulance. Does she try to help? No! This bitch just smiles stupidly at me, starts waving her hands around, and says “Oosa gaka pu fwow… Ooo, mu hehe?”

Man, I can’t believe these… uhh… huh?

Oohh, Sin City…

Never mind.