Sit Still, dammit!

Okay, this is a lame rant. I’m posting it because Faeriebeth threatened to Pit me for being such a lameass if I didn’t. You’ve been warned.
As some of you know, I work at a branch campus of Arkansas State University. I’m the guy that does special events, conferences, etc. I got a promotion this year (yay for me) and am now in charge of our new campus ‘smartcard’ ID system. So I’ve set up a little photo studio (DMV style) and am getting the system online.

My rant is not about the system. I’m the one that researched it, bought it, and operates it…it’s got a glitch here and there, but it’s good.

My rant is not about the students. They’ve not made it back to campus yet.

My rant is about the faculty. Damn you all to hell!

This is not a fucking Sears portrait gallery, and I’m not a fucking child photographer. When I tell you that you have to look at the camera to get your picture made, it was not your cue to chat it up with your pals, or to look at me, or at the sky, or god knows what else. I’m not going to use a hand puppet to stimulate your fragile little minds so that you actually face the camera! And don’t fucking complain that it’s taking forever, if you never stop moving, and every pic I do take has your eyes closed, mouth open, or furious motion blurs that make it look like you’ve been diddling yourself on camera!

And by the way, the ‘mugshot’ jokes get old after the first few dozen. And no, I can’t photoshop out baldness, extra chins, or ugliness.

sigh

You ought to photoshop in the same cat in everyone’s lap.

::wiggle, wiggle::

I think the hand-puppet idea is hilarious- run with it!

Maybe you should use a hand puppet. Use one that looks like a rich alumni known for endowing chairs.

Everyone gets Webster Hubbell lips.

I don’t know who Webster Hubbell is, but it sounds funny …

“Say… tenure!” flash

Damn!!!, I thought this rant was going to be about people who sit on “communal” type seating (theatre, mall benches, etc) and wiggle, kick their damn feet, etc.

If any of you are reading this, SIT STILL DAMMIT!!!

Serious Hijack~

Hey, Stonebow, I just now saw your location (the Lower 48), are you a transplanted Alaskan?

If so, do you have any advice for a “soon to be hightailing out of the last frontier” person???

Hi CanvasShoes! I’ll answer for Stonebow since he’s out mowing the lawn.

We’re not transplanted Alaskans (although I’ve always wanted to go). The ‘lower 48’ thing is something I got in the habit of saying after a year of teaching with a transplanted Alaskan. She said it all the time… ‘here in the Lower 48’… ‘now that I am in the Lower 48’.

I stole her idiom, and, looking back, I wish I’d stole her cool rabbit skin knee-boots.

Advice to anyone moving. Think twice about Arkansas :eek:
I do live there.

FaerieBeth

lol! Thanks FaerieBeth, actually, my dad’s family is from the Arkansas/Missouri area.

It seemed a little “slow” when I last visited. Very different sort of attitude about things.

I like things a little more modern, so I’ll definitely take your advice.