I’m in an interview. They’re asking all the standard interview questions. The interviewer/boss seems like a pretty geeky guy and I have a good feeling about him.
They ask: “What would you say are your weaknesses?” I decide to go for it.
I answer in perfectly deadpan, straight-faced manner: “Well to tell you the truth, I have weakness to fire and lightning based attacks, though I’m strong vs. melee and ranged attacks.”
Of course this has the potential to be a legendary disaster if he/she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. It could also be a huge success. I think given the right gut feeling if the situation came up, I’d probably go for it.
Do you have any jokes you’ve been thinking of, but never quite had the situation present itself, but if it did, you just might go for it?
EDIT: DOH! Still browsing General Questions. This was meant for Cafe Society.
That kind of reply wouldn’t go over well with me in an interview. Not at all. Then again, I wouldn’t ask a lame question like “What are your weaknesses?” in an interview in the first place.
Well it’s a good thing I’m not looking for a job here in Santa Barbara, and I’m not in whatever industry you’re in. Cause if I found out my interviewer were a Doper, I’d definitely go for it. About a 1 in 3 chance of success, I reckon!
Here’s a situational joke you can use anywhere. You run down a busy street, hair and clothes askew, eyes wild. You go up to a random stranger and yell, “The date! What’s the date? Please, I need to know the date!”
And when they say something like “January 23,” you scream, “No! The year! The year!” Then, no matter what they say, look horrified and run off at top speed.
Only if the interviewer had a fire- or lightning-based spell prepared, though
I was attending a concert by The Ventures back in 1985. The bass player was speaking into the microphone when, without warning, the vertical portion of the tubular mic stand collapsed, telescoping straight down. A roadie ran up to the stage and quickly fixed the problem. The bass player asked, “Is this thing going to stay up now?” and the roadie yelled, “That’s what she said!”
When I worked in a kitchen in high school, one time the walk-in freezer opened, and a female supervisor emerged, with a male cook walking behind her. They were looking at the stock, or whatever.
The male cook caught my eye and pantomimed zipping his fly up.
It’s not that I haven’t entered a room trailing a woman since that day, but it needs to be the right guy, the right woman (in case you get caught), and the right place that an innocent bystander won’t bust your ass.
The fact that is was a walk-in freezer made it a good bit funnier.
“…all types of people - black people, white people… … … that’s about it, actually.”
“Fine. Just don’t go praying to Jesus when…” (as if I’m saying “don’t come crying to me”)
