Earlier this morning…
Project Overlords “Okay the UML documention looks good as do the database diagrams. I think we’re good to build on this <name of complex web application>”
Me: “Right, I’ll get started then. The timescales are tight but we should still be good for meeting the client’s target date and have something for them to look at by the end of the week.”
PO: “Great. Oh, while we remember, build this in Java.”
Me: “Exqueeze me?! Baking Powder?! I’m a Coldfusion Developer, not a Java Developer. We’re ALL Coldfusion Developers not Java Developers!”
PO: “Well you developers have been saying to us for a while that long-term we really need to start migrating everything over to pure Java and you’re right, we think that makes sense.”
Me: “Wait - We were talking about that in the Pub! We only ever talked about that in the Pub! You’re not meant to DO any of the stuff that you talk about in pubs! Pub talk is about stuff you know you SHOULD do, like join Amnesty International, start an Animal Shelter or visit the Parents outside of national holidays! Pub talk is there to make you FEEL like you’re a responsible, forward-thinking individual without having to go to the effort of actually BEING one! It’s not stuff you DO!”
PO: “You don’t think moving to pure Java a good idea then?”
Me: “Well… I mean… yes it is obviously, but…”
PO: “Excellent. Look forward to seeing some of it in action on Friday then!”
So, to entertain me whilst i spend what remains of the week learning an entirely new language and building a complex web application in it all within a week, what impossible things have you been asked to do recently and how did they go?