How many times do I have to explain about my connection to Thomas the Rhymer?
Huh. I would have guessed Thomas the Tank Engine, but okay.
“But you make one rhyme…”
Never would be best.
OTOH, I’m expected to be drunk and bald and ribald.
I have embraced this burden and carry it stoically. 
Feeling your pain, I have directed Operations to administer the Intoxication Prevention Serum to you post haste.
Won’t work. Aphrodite has gifted me with a wife that keeps me besotted with love. I do believe her gift would over-power even Hera’s machinations.
Besides, it’s over 100º F here and I’m drinking light beer by the gallon. That stuff is an Intoxication Prevention Serum all its own. 
Do not mention the former queen of Heaven to me, sir. She was cast out of Olympus with her odious brother/husband when God assumed Her rightful place on the throne.
Skald is witty, sophisticated and urbane. No more schnitzengruben for Even Sven.
A scotsman also called True Thomas.
Makes me eyes twitch.
Was he also a True Scotsman?
I am not in charge of the Scots. Heathen bastards, the lot of them. They’re a half-step away from being Welsh, which means only one and a half steps away from being Etruscans.
Well that’s the thing, isn’t it? The Etruscans were not exterminated, they were just conquered by the Romans. Their culture vanished, which means that they were only too happy to stop being Etruscans.
Either that or we could go the Kosmik route and assume they’re just hiding amongst us, ready to come out and be all Etruscany someday.
If you don’t know what function he serves, how do you know if he is working as advertised?
One of my grandmothers was a full-blooded Etruscan. I’m going to require you to clarify exactly what you mean by those words. Don’t think hiding behind your diety’s skirts will shield you, fool of a Graeco-Roman. I serve powers far older and darker to whom your whole pantheon is small children playing at having a tea party.
I didn’t say his function was unknown. Only that it wasn’t obvious. He’s like a bidet to somebody from Oklahoma.
Skald the ass washer??
Possibly, but that wasn’t specifically what I meant. I was using the bidet as an analogy.
Ah, he’s a metaphorical asswasher.
The main thing is, even though some people probably agree that Skald is a bit annoying, the OP is far worse.
That said, there’s something weird about being on this message board and finding hypotheticals that make you think to be annoying.
And it’s amazing how many people seem to think a post can’t be made in fun unless it’s also funny.
At least he doesn’t actually rhyme. Now that would be annoying.