I’m looking forward to the day when kids saying “That’s so Gay” mean something positive…
I teach High School, and listen to kids say it on an almost daily basis at the beginning of the school year … Until we have our “Mr. Survivor is Gay and doesn’t really want to hear people using Gay for stupid in class” talk…
Usually happens when one of em comes into class and mentions to another kid that they saw a rainbow sticker on my car… and it goes around til one of em asks me… And since I don’t hide it, it often happens on the first day
I think kids have to be able to actually know Gay people to realize what they say is connected to real people…
As time goes on, when a kid says it in class, it’s almost comical to see 30 teenagers stop what they’re doing and almost gasp because they know their teacher is Gay and he’s gonna say something back…
I usually just say “No, that book/movie/whatever isn’t Gay, but I am… we’re you talking about me”?
Of course, when they say it near me, they suddenly remember and start to apologize… i.e. - “Oh, we didn’t mean YOU, Mr. Survivor… Sorry…”
Amazing how by the end of the schoolyear, I don’t hear it too often as they get to know me…
Words don’t mean much to a kid til they really understand em…
According to this site, prostitutes of both sexes were called “gay” in Victorian England because they dressed gaily (in the sense of favoring bright, flashy colors). “Gay boy” eventually came to mean “any male homosexual”, whether or not he was a “renter”.
When I was in cegep, a girl was directing us in a tableau (it was a theatre class… yes, I was the only gay boy… hmmm.) And she said to a fellow, referring to a posture she had put him into, “Now I know this feels kind of gay…”
I said, “Oh, perhaps I should do it then.”
She promptly fell all over herself apologizing, a reaction I greatly enjoy eliciting.
I actually have a homosexual friend who uses gay to mean stupid on occasion. I asked him about it once, and he said he doesn’t think anything of it because, in his opinion, it’s just another meaning of the word
.Personally, I try not to say gay in this context, but just about everyone I know uses it this way, and it rubs off; occasionally I slip up. I’ve been trying to get it out of my vocabulary, but it’s just like trying to irridaticate those extra “likes” and “you knows” from your speach, but without the added bonus of sounding like a bigot.
Telling them you find this to be offensive probably won’t do any good since a lot of teenagers use this slang, and they’ll encounter it everywhere; and while some use it to offend gay people, some use it out of habit and honestly do not mean to be offensive with it. Tell them how you feel about the word without being overbearing about it. If you make too big of an issue of something (I’ve had people do this with swearing…and around them I was so hung up about not letting a swear word slip out that I was always a little on edge). Be blunt about how you feel, but don’t make it become a day-to-day battle if you can help it.
If they stop, great. It sounds like you all have a good time together, so hopefully they’ll at least try for you. If they still let it slip, the only advice I can give is to not to let it get under your skin.
An interesting thread - a few weeks ago, I heard a teenager at my gym loudly talking to a group of friends about someone who was “SO GAY!” I feel like I should have done something in addition to the dirty look I gave her, but I didn’t know if I should start a fight. I could have taken her, though! I personally find the term extremely offensive if it’s meant to be a put-down. (Straight female here). Based on a few of posts I’ve read here, I guess I’ve learned it’s not as insulting as I thought. I dunno, it still bothers me to hear it said in a disrespectful context.
My kids used to call eachother “gay” to mean stupid and I took offense. Now they just call eachother “fagot” <sigh> I wish they would go back to saying “gay”
well…if you want to be truly offended by changing sensibilities
go and read Robinson Crusoe. If you get beyond a page or two without feeling like throwing up you are a better person than I.
Re the masculinity put down:
Watch an episode of Buffy with Faith. Buffy runs like a “girl”.
Faith runs “normal”.
All the fems in my house think that it is hilarious.
We are all seriously so in trouble with the thought police.
