That is precisely why I clicked on this thread in the first place. 
In my theater, it was “Slowly I turned … step by step, inch by inch, mile by motherfucking mi–” And we’d stop mid-word so Riff could tell us that a decision had to be made.
Although, I’m going to have to disagree with Otto, in the cast of Rocky that I was part of, there is nothing more important than a dick joke.
I get the joke, I just don’t think it’s that funny. Is there any humor in it besides a guy who goes psycho at the mere mention of a place name he associates with bad memories? A bit surreal, but not in my mind worthy of being endlessly aped???
Those of us who grew up in an earlier time were perhaps more easily amused. We watched cartoons with stick cats and mice, not realizing that movies had to be colorized to be watched. It took the sophistication of the last quarter of the 20th century to bring humor to what it is today. You had to be there.
It’s all in the execution. The old “lamb chops” routine as done by, say, Will and Grace, would be deadly. But in the hands of Burns & Allen it was brilliant.
Well, it’s been a while. I don’t think I know the decision line though, mostly because the audience around here always shouts that millimeter bit.
Not to hijack the thread too much, but that’s one of the things that knocks the piss out of me about the Madison RHPS cast. They shout over way too many lines. The genius of the audience participation is the call and response. Enhancing the lines, not squashing them.
Funny you mention “slowly I turned” and “stooge”. When the Three Stooges did the routine, it was completely different.
The basic premise was that they were actors, practicing for a play. One of them recites the line (“slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch”), and when he says the last word, something bad happens, either a chandelier falls on someones head, or one of them falls in a full bathtub, or whatever. They do this routine 3 or 4 times in the episode (I believe it was “Gents without Cents”).
It’s one of my 5 and 7 year old sons favorites. One will recite the line, the other falls down, and they both (and me) laugh hystarically, then they repeat it until their mother chases us out of the room. Mothers don’t usually get the subtlety of the Stooges, it seems.
I could swear I’ve seen Bugs Bunny do this bit as well. Anyone else recall?
My take on the joke is that the repitition is the funny bit. You’d thnk after getting clobbered two or three times the guy would realize what will happen to him when he sets off his partner by saying the trigger word. Yet there he goes again, and the exaggerated “Slowly I turned…” with great dramatic fanfare merely emphasizes what is to come (again).
This type of humor is precicely what makes classic I Love Lucy or Gilligan’s Island bits so funny… it’s not necessarily the “humor” of the stupid joke, it’s that everyone sees what is coming so clearly that they are anticipating the punchline before it’s delivered. You are laughing at the punchline you are providing in your mind before the actors say it or do it, which only increases the hilarity when the highly anticipated punchline is finally delivered (well, at least I do).
Because of the highly dramatic catchphrase, this bit is probably “satirized” more than any other old vaudeville bit, which is why everyone is posting so many examples of it.
My memories vote for the Three Stooges as the first time I saw it myself.
If by “funny” you mean “incredibly lame”, then I agree with you.
Agreed. The first time I heard the Niagara Falls bit, was from my mother. This was her way of letting us know we were treading on thin ice:
Mommy Dearest: Go clean your room.
Me: Awww, c’mon, in a minute!
MD: Slowwwwly I turned…
:::mad scrambling and giggling on way to room:::
Have never figured out where she got the “Order in the court” bit from, but it worked well to keep us quiet on Michigan to Oregon road trips.
In semi-related news, one of my favourite movies came out on DVD a couple of weeks ago: The Sunshine Boys, starring George Burns and Walter Matthau as two old vaudvillians who haven’t worked together in years (and detest each other), who are brought back to do their big sketch one last time.
Some great old jokes in there; if you haven’t seen it, do so–especially if you want to get a whiff of what vaudeville was like.
I remember that one. And after several rampages, he ends up by asking the stooge his name.
“Dan Tucket.”
Burr pauses, and thinks about it for a moment.
“Close enough”
And he goes on another rampage, chasing the stooge offstage. Cut to commercial.
They don’t write 'em like that anymore.
Actually, I Love Lucy definitely used the “Martha” version. In the climax of the episode, Lucy dashes off to the Tropicana wearing her “bum” outfit (thinking that she’s stepping in for a sick vaudevillian) and bursts in on Ricky’s ballet revue, where she finds a bunch of dancers accompanied by Ricky singing a song called … durn the luck … “Martha.” Scene ends with Ricky opening his mouth to sing “Martha!” and getting a pie in the puss.
One of the rare instances where Ricky gets back at Lucy “in kind” at the end of the show, by dumping a bucket of water on her head. I love Ricky!
The joke needs to be refreshed to make it funny today, by perhaps just having the trigger-haired guy just do the menacing without narration.
Actually, I’ve seen some recent variations on this and other routines. For example, on an episode of Blackadder III, the Prince Regent hires two pretentious actors to teach him on how to be more dramatic when giving a speech. One of the things we find out about the actors is that they superstitiously avoid the direct mention of “Macbeth” (i.e., “the Scottish play”). Of course, when Blackadder hears of this, he says “Macbeth” at every possible opportunity in the actor’s presence which causes them to panic and go into an elaborate ritual to ward off bad luck. Like the “Slowly I turned…” sketch, this is based on the premise of an seemingly harmless word (e.g., Niagara Falls, Buffalo, Martha, Bagle Street) causing disruption when uttered by the stooge. Most of the time, the stooge says the offending word innocently. However, in the Blackadder III version, Blackadder deliberately mentions “Macbeth” to vex the actors. Also, instead of going on a violent rampage, the actors have to stop everything and do a silly routine that ends with them twisting each other’s nose.
In any case, this supports the theory that there are only about ten basic jokes and that we’ve just been repeating them in an infinite number of ways for thousands of years. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some version of “Slowly I turned…” or “Who’s on first?” around in the days of Aristophenes.
M (an actor): …lest you continue in your quotations and mention the name of the “Scottish Play”.
K (an actor): Oh-ho… never fear, I shan’t do that. (laughs)
Blackadder: By the “Scottish Play”, I assume you mean Macbeth.
(The actors perform a ritual warding off of bad luck.)
Actors: Aahhhhhh! (slapping each others hands, pat-a-cake fashion) Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. (pinch each others nose).
Blackadder: What was that?
K : We were exorcising evil spirits. Being but a mere butler, you will not know the great theatre tradition that one does NEVER speak the name of the “Scottish Play”.
Blackadder: What, Macbeth ?
Actors: Aahhhhh! Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Ohhh!
Blackadder: Good lord, you mean you have to do that every time I say… Macbeth ?
Actors: Aahhhhh! Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Owww!
M : Will you please stop saying that ! Always call it the Scottish Play.
Blackadder: So you want me to say the “Scottish Play”?
Actors: YES!!!
Blackadder: Rather than… Macbeth ?
Actors: Aahhhhh! Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Owww!