How many of you know this bit? I don’t know the origins but I assume it’s just an old vaudeville bit because I’ve seen it done by a few comedy teams, each putting their own spin on it.
If you can, help refresh my memory. I think I saw it once on I Love Lucy, but I can’t remember who performed it or how they fit it into the show. I also think I might have seen it on the Abbott and Costello Show, although I’m quite certain it wasn’t done by Bud and Lou (might have been Lou and a guest star?). Can anyone fill in my memory gaps on this? Also, who else have you seen perform this bit?
For those of you who don’t know the bit:
There is the lead and the stooge. The lead tells his story of how his wife left him for another man. He recounts how he chased after them and he finally caught up with them. When he finds them he attacks his wife’s lover in a violent rage.
Now, there is always a key word that he won’t speak while retelling the story. He explains that he won’t speak the word because even hearing it sends him into a rage and he becomes violent again.
When the word comes up in the story he just gives clues as to what the word is. As he gives the clues the stooge guesses the word, blurting it out. Upon hearing the word the lead becomes possessed with rage and reenacts his violent episode putting the stooge in the place of his wife’s lover, the stooge gets violently beaten (funny part).
When the lead comes back out of his trance he stops beating the stooge and apologizes. He explains that madness overtook him, that he just can’t control himself when he hears “that word”. The stooge says, “Oh, you mean . . . ?” This sends the lead back into his violent episode and the stooge gets beaten up again. They repeat this over and over for as long as they can make it funny.
SLOWLY I TURNED . . . (This is the hook that stays the same no matter who is performing the bit.)
Once, as I saw it performed, the word that could not be said was the lead’s wife’s name (Martha). He would explain “I can’t say her name, but it was the same name as George Washington’s wife.” “Oh, you mean Martha?”
But the far superior performance featured the name of the place where he finally caught up with his wife and her lover. He describes the place and the stooge says “Oh, you mean Niagra Falls?”
NIAGRA FALLS!
Slowly I turned,
step by step,
inch by inch,
And I . . . (bang, crash, smash, the stooge gets pummeled)
So, who else knows it? Whose performances are you familiar with?