Is it just me or are there some of the worlds absolutely finest smart asses here on the Dope?
It has become apparent to me, after perusing some of the threads here, that intermingled with the smattering of posters of every variety, are some of the most hilarious smart asses I’ve ever run across. It must be the blend of above average intelligence and the cockiness of possessing said trait, that leads to the congregating of smart asses on this board. I posted this in the pit, so those who might want to comment on this phenomenon can do so without fear of breaking rules in other forums. Furthermore I wanted to express my thanks to all who have participated, especially in these times of economic woes and political uncertainties, for your continued efforts to “lighten the mood” if you will, giving us all an oasis from our daily toils, in making sure the world doesn’t cease its rotation. I know we as a group don’t want this board devolving into the foam flecked chaos of so many other internet communities and I feel as long as we hold ourselves to a higher standard and follow the rules set forth in our “charter” we should be able to keep our heads above water.
Hey, how about a little love for us dumb asses?
Some of us are just plain old arses.
Why don’t donkeys read books? Because nobody likes a smart ass. 
The abundance of smart asses is what prompted me to subscribe in the first place.
Having been a member of other less auspicious boards I happened on the SDMB on day and that, as they say, was that.
I lurked for a short while and then felt it my manly duty, nay, obligation, to join the exalted ranks.
Isn’t that smart-ass, with a hyphen?
Does anal-retentive have a hyphen?
Junior smart-ass, who usually gets beaten to the punch whenever he thinks of something witty.
Yeah, well, I see you’re hyphenating “smart-ass” now, nyah nyah nyah! 
I prefer the simple expedite of standing on someone else’s head.
I knew you were one when I saw your first post. It warms my heart to see that being a smart-ass bridges not only the chasms of age, but also of nationality. It isn’t easy being a smart-ass as we all know being a smart-ass on the way up in the world leads to beatings and thrashings of every magnitude. Doesn’t matter though, that perfection of ones art sometimes requires those kinds of sacrifices that might leave lasting scars, both physical and mental. And I don’t want to hear any rumblings from you regular ass’s and dumb ass’s either. This thread is meant as a unification tool. We are all brothers in arms my friends. The degree of your involvement is merely semantics, each of us has his own standard and that’s what makes us such a fearsome foe. Hapless bystanders reel from our rapier wit and if they have any humor about them at all, share our tasty tidbits with all their friends and neighbors. Face it, we are most often admired from afar, leaving in our wakes some dazed and confused victims but more often than not, a whole new generation of smart-ass’s in the making. So live it up people, revel in your smart-assedness, the world is our oyster.
Well Sam I am taking you at your word about the hyphen. It never hurts to have smart-ass’s in your ranks who are familiar the rules and regulations. Many a beating has been avoided by simply following the rules. So how are things in your neck of the woods? You keeping the unintelligent folks in line over there with the occasional prod from your barbed comments?
What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungy cord?
My Ass! 
I’ll get my coat…
Alays glad to have the well armed among your ranks as well. Never can tell when things might turn ugly and one might have to run for the hills.
Say, shouldn’t that be “smart-asses”?
Smart-arses if you’re British.
Bum!
Look, apparently I need to get my shit in order over here as I used spell check. Who approved this spell check for usage here? Heads will roll over this matter gentlemen, I assure you.
This thread has touched me in a deep way. I’m getting all weepy here.
I only have one question for you guys:
You think you’re better than me?
That’s “better than I”.
Not when he is using a common phrase that is already in the Urban Dictionary.
I just googled it for the fun of it all and got 9,000,000 hits. I would say very common usage, including several movies I believe.
Jim