I say you should definitely, unquestionably tell him. This isn’t one of my proudest stories, but: I was on the receiving end of that myself.
In my case, because of an operation I had when I was very young, I’ve never had a sense of smell (not an interesting story). So I’m never conscious about how other people smell, and by extension never conscious about it for myself. One day a cow-orker at a temp job I was at during college told me I had the B.O. It wasn’t a lack of proper hygiene on my part, since I’ve always taken at least one shower a day and all that, so I didn’t take it personally. (Well, I did at first, but got over it quickly). I just switched deodorants.
It’s really not that big a deal, and it shouldn’t be a personal attack. If this guy never hears about it from someone, he’s just going to keep on being oblivious to it and going to keep on thinking that there’s something seriously wrong with him that’s turning people off.
Yeah, I agree with the people who said to be direct…even if you have to do it by email because it’s too awkward to say in person. Men are so often oblivious to “hinting”.
I gotta agree that I don’t see the point in hinting. Either he won’t get it (as a lot of guys, and people in general, are wont to do) or he’ll get it and still feel embarrassed as hell. Of course, you won’t have to see or share his embarrassment directly, but it’s not really easier on him.
Besides, as someone who’s always been mildly paranoid about how I smell (to the point that I opened this thread and my heartbeat quickened until I could be certain that it couldn’t be about me. It’s irrational, I know . . . ) if by some chance my meticulous hygiene failed, and someone had to tell me, I’d take it to heart, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to talk to them again. Ever. So, you might lose the relationship with the guy, but it’s better for him than losing a real close friend.
I dunno. I’ve always done the anonymous letter when I had to deal with weird situations, but this one is quite different than anything I’ve handled. Be nice, be gentle, broach it at a time when he’ll be able to get away soon after in order to handle his embarrassment . . .
Hmmmm…goth. What type of goth, depending on the kind of goth it is you can discuss grooming ‘tips’ depending on how you put it.
Or hell, be up front and blunt and just tell him. Yo dude, shower and wash your clothes, you reek.
Had a guy when I was GMing AD&D back in the late 70s that I told up fromt he could gag a maggot and if he didnt shower before coming over to game I would kill off his mage. Worked like a charm.