Is there a polite way to say "You Got The Stink-Ass?"

In My Humble Opinion
1

TMI Warning: I have to apologize for the story I’m about to share, but I feel that the details are necessary to get a full grasp on the situation.

So I’ve known this girl for a while and we’ve been visiting each other almost weekly. She’s kind of a large girl, which I didn’t think was that big of a deal until that fateful day about a month ago. I was at her place and feeling kind of tired. She got up from the couch and I flopped down where she sat. Then I caught a whiff of this horrid stink. Kind of subtle at first, but once my nostrils had been assaulted, I couldn’t shake it. It was the stink of poo. So I sat up and covered up my disgust by repositioning myself as though trying to get more comfortable.

Weeks later, we were at a wedding and had a group photo with a bunch of friends and I stood behind her. And it happened again. The stink of poo, and that was just from standing behind her, my nose a seemingly safe distance from her ass. But I caught a whiff, just the same.

A few weeks later, at my place, my couch was the victim. After she left, I removed the cushion covers and dropped them into the washing machine. My guess is that since she is obese, she’s not as adept at wiping, and leaves enough residue behind to create the stink.

So my question is this: Is there a tactful way of letting her know? I’m normally a very shy person, especially about something like this, and the last thing I want to do is embarrass someone, but this is a pretty severe hygiene issue. I knew a guy in college who suffered --that is, had people around him who suffered-- from his case of the stink-ass, and we simply made sure he didn’t visit often, or at least had no place to rest his offending posterior.

As an additional question, is this common? I mean, this is the second time I’ve encountered someone who seems to not realize that they have the stink-ass, both of which were overweight people. It makes me think I should take the time to do an extra wipe from now on.

2

Do you have a mutual large friend who can talk to her? I have heard of large people who use an appliance that has a long handle so they can reach where they need to reach. Another large person might be able to help with this. It’s an uncomfortable subject, but maybe someone who’s been there would be able to do it without totally embarrassing her.

3

Why is Brown-Eyed girl stuck in my head after reading this?
:o

4

“Everybody in the room who does not smell like poo take one step forward.”
“No, not you.”

What? Stop hitting me!

5

How do you know she doesn’t have a colostomy?

6

Do you really think that is the more likely reason???

7

Would that necessarily create the poo smell? I mean, isn’t it all contained?

Sorry, I know little about how this works.

8

I have the nose from hell; I can smell everything. It’s horrible, I tell you. :frowning:

I don’t know that it’s “common,” but I have noticed that smell from time to time, mostly from large folks, but sometimes from teenage boys and alcoholic bachelors.

I don’t know that an extra wipe would do it. People who sweat a lot sometimes emit that odor, too, so maybe it’s a combination of factors?

I would have no earthly idea how to tell someone they have stink-ass without making them cry. Sorry.

9

Anonymously.

10

It’s not a bad hypothesis. I don’t have stink ass (or at least no one’s told me), but I am obese, and yeah, it’s a lot harder to wipe than when I was skinny. I can still do it unassisted, but I have to be sitting just so and really think about it to make sure I get an adequate job done. Another 20 pounds, and I don’t think I’d be able to. I just don’t bend around the middle well anymore, and there’s a huge hip to reach around.

Gods, I can’t wait until I’m done breastfeeding so I can go on a really unhealthy crash diet.

OTOH, my skinny husband often smells like ass when he farts. Not just like farts, but like actual feces. I don’t know if he’s a leaker or what, but I’m pretty sure he wipes OK. So it may not be a wiping thing after all.

And, no, I have no idea how to tactfully ask her!

11

Are you close enough to her so that you can talk about your own hygiene habits, in the guise of “this worked really well for me, cuz I’d hate to stink”?

Close enough to say “Man, I really wish I had a bidet, those things are neat!” Or “Don’t you hate one-ply toilet paper? It never gets the job done.”

Or “Something smells like poo, sorry about that, looks like I need to Febreze the couch.”

12

It’s not something I’d normally recommend, but you may want to think about sending an anonymous email to her.

I just don’t see how you could successfully address this issue in a ‘face to face’ or even telephone situation.

Obviously, you’d need to really carefully word the email. And I would definately take the safe route of not assuming it’s down to bad hygiene, i.e. there may be a medical reason for the odour.

13

Maybe she has a rare condition called “leaky gas”.

14

WhyNot, sorry for the hijack, but there’s no reason you can’t diet while you’re breastfeeding. Weight Watchers doesn’t allow pregnant women to join, but they do have special provisions in the program for nursing moms.

15

Just make yourself stink really bad, and see if she says anything about it. Because, you know, maybe she is immune to the smell.

16

Well, I had the misfortune of going into the bathroom immediately after her recently. It reeked strongly, more than I had encountered in any of the other cases.

To put it frankly, it smelled like poo that had spent some time between ass cheeks. You know, somehow you can just identify that smell. I grew up on a farm, I know the smell of feces fermented between warm, sweaty flesh. So I think we can rule out farting.

My farm experience came up in a conversation with her recently. I mentioned how, in high school, I had a girlfriend that commented that I sometimes smelled like barn after milking cows. Upon hearing this, she said “That’s just part of working on a farm. At least you didn’t smell like human poop.” Awkward silence followed.

17

Maybe she could use baby wipes instead of TP? TP just doesn’t do the job for some people. You could perhaps mention that you use baby wipes, tell her how great it is, soemthing like that?

I had to tell a friend in high school that she smelled, but I was a lot tougher and more daring then than I am now. I’ve also had to tell a few students that they needed to shower. I just bulled right through it, which was hard because the student often will claim that s/he DOES shower… often, it’s dirty clothes that smell, not the body itself, I learned.

This is a really difficult issue, and I wish you the best. I think you’d be doing a great good deed if you told her, but it’s probably not going to be fun or easy.

18

But what if he “annoys” her.

19

Ah, the sponge stick! It was used instead of toilet paper in Ancient Rome, among other places:

There are modern versions available.

And then there’s the ultimate solution. :eek:

20

Send her some Sphincterine .

That ought to get the point across.