Having cut out red meat due to my gouty arthritic middle finger, I decided to chow down on fowl every now and again, so this morning I picked some smoked turkey legs to fix for dinner.
I asked the butcher about preparation, and he said, “Well, they’re smoked, so they’re basically ready to eat, just heat 'em up a little.”
begin song parody…
Well, I’m not the world’s most intelligent cook, but when I sank my teeth in my whole head shook chewin’ turkey. Tur-tur-tur-tur turkey! Well, I’m not dumb but I never knew that a bird like that could be so tough to chew, oh my turkey!
So I pushed it away! It slid to the floor! I didn’t want it any more!
I got down on my knees!
I looked at it, and it at me!
Well what I really wanted to know, did I heat it too fast or heat it too slow, oh my turkey. Tur-tur-tur-turkey?
fade song parody…
cue Twilight Zone music
[Rod Serling Voice-Over] Quasimodem: Slightly cracked 50-something bachelor looking for a little help with his cooking. Will he find it here, or is he headed for that kitchen in the… Twilight Zone?[/Rod Serling Voice-Over]
Apologies to Ray Davies and anyone named Lola! (And no, I will not perform this at The Georgia Dope-Fest!)
Q
Quasi, I really ought to be pissed at you for bringing that song back into my head, so I’m gonna tell you some bad news…turkey is pretty high in purines too. I’m sorry. You can’t imagine how sorry I am. Left over Thanksgiving turkey sammichs are one of my all time favorite reasons to be thankful. I’m afraid that for the duration, or until your finger is back to pliability, you need to stick to white meat chicken, or maybe a little pork (the other white meat). And skip the beans too. Canned hominy, not the grits, but the whole kernels, make a good substitute for beans in some recipes. I don’t have a good vegetarian cookbook to reccommend. But see what you can find.
Oh, and in retribution… (sings) Feeeelings…whoa, whoa, whoa, feeelings…
Dayum! And I was doing so well off the red meat, too. The pain is better and I can actually bend that finger a little more than I could two weeks ago with the combination of the allopurinol and the change in diet.
Don’t like beans anyway, but recently I’ve been buying some of those Healthy Request soups with low sodium and at work I sip those Soup at Hand microwaveable soups. One that I especially like is “Creamy Chicken” (can’t read a word on the ingredients list except for “Chicken Stock”, so I guess I will go to the Campbell’s website and look for it there).
Thanks Bumbazine and sorry for the hated “song-trigger”, but when I started typing that first sentence in the third paragraph, everything just seemed to “fall into place”. Wish I could do that with my legitimate writing! 
Q
I remember when I was going through a smoked turkey leg phase.
The meat is tough and EXTREMELY salty. I would have to put away a gallon of water to dilute that stuff. But it was strangely…delicious. Sometimes I even crave it…
Granted, I have poor taste in just about everything. I used to make macaroni and cheese with cheese whiz, so what do I know?