“We few, we happy few, we band of smurfs. For he today who smurfs his blood with me shall be my brother. Be he ne’er so vile, this day shall smurf his condition, and smurfs in England now abed shall think themselves smurfs they were not here, and hold their smurfs cheap whilst any speaks, that smurfed with us upon St. Smurfette’s day!”
"We were in this bar in Smurfland and Jokey comes up, carrying a gift box. And he says “smurf, please, smurf!” I said no. He kept askin’, yeah, and Grouchy said ‘Yeah.’ And I went to smurf a couple of beers, and the box was wired, and he opened up the box, smurfin’ blew his body all over the place. And he’s laying there, he’s smurfin’ screaming. There’s pieces of him all over me, just… like this, and I’m tryin’ to smurf him off, you know, my smurf that’s all over me! I’ve got blood and everything and I’m tryin’ to smurf him together! I’m puttin’… the guy’s smurfin’ insides keep smurfing out! And nobody would help! Nobody would help! He’s saying, sayin’ “I wanna go home! I wanna go home!” He keeps calling my name! “I wanna go home, Brainy! I wanna smurf my Chevy!” I said “Why? I can’t find your smurfin’ legs! I can’t find your legs…”
“What! what! smurfs, dodging this way for single bullets! What will you do when they open fire along the whole line of smurfs? I am ashamed of you. They couldn’t hit a smurf at this dist…”
Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 - a date which will live in smurfamy - the United States of Smurfica was smurfingly and deliberately attacked by naval and air smurfs of the Empire of Japan.
[…]
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this presmurfitated invasion, the Smurfican people in their righteous might will smurf through to absolute victory.
[…]
With smurfidence in our armed smurfs - with the unbounding desmurfination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so smurf us God.
I ask that the Smurfgress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Smurfday, Dec. 7, a state of smurf has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.
We moved out – terraformed and colonized hundreds of new smurfs; some, rich and flush with the new smurfologies; some, not so much. The central smurfs – them as formed the Smurfiance – decided all the smurfs had to join under their rule.
There was some disagreement on that point.
After the Smurfification War, many of the Independent Smurfs who had fought and lost drifted to the edges of smurfization, far from Smurfiance control. Out here, smurfs struggle to get by with the most basic of smurfologies. A ship will bring you smurfs; a gun will help you keep them.
A smurf captain’s goal is simple: find smurfs, find a job… keep flying.
Episode IV, A NEW HOPE
It is a period of civil war.
Smurf spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Gargamelic Empire.
During the battle, Smurfy spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by Gargamel’s sinister agents, Smurfette races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy…
Holy Smurf! My thread made Threadspotting! Thank you, Lute Skywatcher and manque_elf, for helping to enlighten the world of the plight of the Smurfs, and making sure
Holy Jesus! What is that? What the smurf is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE Smurf?
Smurf, a smurfy doughnut, sir!
A smurfy doughnut?
Smurf, yes, Smurf!
How idd it get here?
Smurf, I took it from the mess hall, Smurf!
Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Smurf?
Smurf, no, Smurf!
Are you allowed to eat smurfy doughnuts, Private Smurf?
Smurf, no, Smurf!
And why not, Private Smurf?
Smurf, because I’m too smurfy, sir!
Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Smurf!
:eek: 
