My origin story?
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I’m (at least) 4th this! It was YOUR FAULT you’re in dirty clothes, and the guy made a tongue-in-cheek comment, and you FLIP OUT!
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Fifth. I wonder what kind of monster you are to the rest of your subordinates.
You need to walk backwards around town with your pants down and your hands spreading your buttcheeks, 'cuz you is one proud asshole!
Whoops, wrong forum. Mods, my apologies.
I first read this as “I set them on fire”, which I like better, especially after a set of mundane answers.
I thought I had already worked for the worst company in the world, but now I am not so sure…
You got that right.
Hey, I have an “undetermined neurological situation” which gets triggered by… boss stupidity 
So, A4: Stupid orders give me the shakes.
Q: Where do you see yourself in five years? A: Given that this interview is for a position as a consultant, I see myself working for a different client.
Q: Do you have a problem working in a department where everybody is male? A: One where everybody else is male, no; one where everybody is male, obviously. I don’t want the job bad enough for a sex change.
I am now.
Oh, one from Mitch Hedberg:
Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?
A: Celebrating the five year anniversary of you asking me that question!
-(Q): “Where do you want to be in 5 years?” (A): “Prison.”
-(Q): “What is your finest accomplishment?” (A): “Maintaining my virginity–the last time I was in prison.”
-(Q): “What are your main weaknesses?” (A): “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds it could be used against me.”
-(Q): “How do you deal with difficult subordinates?” (A): “I give them enough rope.”
-(Q): “Why did you leave yor last job?” (A): “Oh, I’m still there. I’ll come over here if you offer me more money for shorter hours.”
-(Q): “Would you call yourself a practical or proactive person? And give us an example.” (A): “No.” … “What, you still want an example? Well, as I’ve said, I’ve been to prison.”
-(Q): “Tell us about a time you had to deal with adversity from somebody in a position of authority to you.” (A): “Well, there was a time I had to kill a gang leader in prison.”
-(Q): “What salary would you like?” (A): “I’d like to be paid in chewing gum. However, due to the depreciation rate of chewing gum, I will have to be paid at ten times the normal salary in dollars for the position.”
One that I very much enjoyed, paraphrased from Penny Arcade:
Q What do you consider to be your biggest weakness?
A I’m terrified that I’m incapable of love.
One day I want the opportunity to answer like that, to see if I can carry it off completely deadpan.
Whoa, interviewers actually ask that question? Could that question more clearly ask, “Are you a likely sexual harassment complaint filer?”
A. I don’t tolerate stupid questions well.
This answer has the benefit of being completely true! 