Holy shit, man, what pack of dingoes raised you so that you think it’s OK to vacuum up a half-pint of runny snot into that gin-blssomed schnozz of yours in a freaking restaurant?

This heinous act is usually perpetrated by crusty, fat, old men who wear ballcaps into restaurants and who have long ago said “fuck off” to the standards of civilised society, but in the past few weeks I have had the displeasure of witnessing two ordinary men (and it is always men) perpetrate this crime against humanity. OK, the first one was a slacker whose clear aspiration in life is to become the youngest member of the fat old snoorkkers association (FOSA), but this was at a decent restaurant, not at Denny’s, their meeting hall of choice.

Last night took the cake, though. Look, man, Chinese food has enough unidentifiable semi-solid items floating in gelatinous sauces to give anyone an occasional shudder, but when you lay down a soundtrack to “The Sound of Mucous” to accompany the meal, well, that’s all I can take. Does not the gape mouthed stares of everyone in the restaurant directed at you register at all? Or maybe the force of your inhalations has crushed your brain to the size of a walnut and the cavity is composed of crusty boogers instead?

And to you meek enabling women who accompany said men - next time do the world a favor - reach over and slap the snot out of him!

How do you make a hanky dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

Come along with Snorks
Swim along with Snorks
So much to see waiting for you and me
Have some fun with the Snorks…

Classic!!! :smiley:

And I agree wholeheartedly! Ya gotta know that their mamas taught them better than that, didn’t they??

Somebody I’m very close to does this all the time. It’s a chafe. Sometimes, I want to smack him upside the head and scream “GET A TISSUE, DAMMIT!”

Then again, it’s probably less disgusting than my habit of picking my nose, rolling the boogers up into little balls between my fingers, and flicking them across the room. But since I only do this in private, no one need be the wiser.

Um…oops. Disregard that last paragraph.

My, but that was funny. I was snorting after paragraph one but I don’t think that counts.

I’m not a snorker, I’m a horker. I’m always quietly trying to clear my throat by making little coughing “ahem” noises. Then people look at me like I’m about to make an important point.

Clearly, these people do not know me.

I’m a snorker

I’m a horker

I’m a midnight sporker

I got my mucus on the run

Doo doo, doo-doo doo-doo, doo doo, doo-doo doo-doo, yeedurn, da shmeedurn, dee dee SNORRKK SNORRKK SNORRKK!!! <crash of utensils>

So, NoClueBoy, where do you do your midnight sporking? Taco Bell?

Eep opp snork ahah
Eep opp snork ahah
Eep opp snork ahah
That means I am rude.

How do I love Lamar? Let me count the ways…

Bwahahahahaa!!! Great OP.

If you’re a blower and you know it
Snork out loud!
If you’res blower and you know it
Snork out loud!
If you’re a blower and you know it then your nose, you should blow it,
If you’re a blower and you know it
Snork out loud!

Thank you very much.

I got one of these at my house, God save me.

I have given up, have learned the inevitable lesson that all women learn - you cannot push a rope.

Saving it like it’s freaking gold.

Thank you again. It’s not just me, that means so much to me…