Snuggle Bear Reveals His True Colors

[MaxTheVool]

*Originally posted by astro *
**Yes I saw it. Snuggle is apparently King of the World. What was that ad where he was being chased by a tank that was blowing off pieces of him? Oh yeah…
BATTLETANX VS. SNUGGLES

http://www.xent.com/nov99/0072.html

The original commercial

We can rebuild him **

Yay! Battletanx!

Just to pat myself on the back for a moment, I was a programmer (in fact, the de facto lead programmer) on both Battletanx and Battletanx: Global Assault, both of which were fun games, despite having very little relationship with their advertising. (Plus, they had a horribly sexist plot, but that wasn’t my fault) (I was just following orders).

Anyone who doesn’t like the bear should watch those two ads.

[kaylasdad99]

*Originally posted by Olentzero *
**Now for the warning.

Do NOT go to the Snuggle Fabric Softener site unless you have a popup killer! It is a Popup Hell site, and each and every popup features the Evil One dead center of the image.**

I did not know that.

I’m terribly sorry, I had no intention of setting up a portal to the underworld. Now I’m gonna have to help an old lady across the street or something to wipe out the bad karma.

[BlahMan]

Yo,

I remember back when Snuggle Softener or whatever first came out (I was like 6 or something). They had a promo to get a ‘snuggles’ bear, you needed to get a UPC from the small, medium, and large containers of the softener. At that age, I was (occording to my mom) the embodiment of all things evil, so I saw a kindred spirit with that bear and DESPERATLY wanted one…We collected the UPCs from the small and medium containers, but when we looked for the specially marked Large containers, we couldnt find any of them, even after going to 12 different supermarkets. My mom bought an unmarked Large container and sent the 3 UPCs to the company with a letter that explained how we couldnt find the Large one and asking to send the bear anyway because her ‘demon child’ wanted it desperatly…They NEVER sent the bear…To make a long story short (TOO LATE) I was severly traumatised by this, and I have never been the same since… For one thing ever since then I have been a massive abuser of Ellipsees…I intend to sue the company for psychological trama, and have them pay in snuggle bears…Then I can create my Snuggles Army and TAKE OVER THE WORLD…
Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha…

(oops, I forgot to take my meds today, sorry…)
-Blah
“Of all the things I miss, I miss my MIND the most” Ozzy…I think…

[leechbabe]

*Originally posted by Cervaise *
**This is a recurring fantasy of mine. I share with you a detail from my fantasy that makes the image more concrete.

Y’know the sound when you have a shoe in the dryer?

— mmm[sub]thump[/sub]mmmmm[sub]ka-dump[/sub]mmmm[sub]wump[/sub]mm[sub]bumpBUMP[/sub]mmmmm —

Here’s the Snuggles-in-the-drum equivalent:

— mmm[sub]thump[/sub]mmmm[sup]“Ee!”[/sup]mmm[sup]“It’s toourghf–”[/sup]mmm[sub]ka-dump[/sub]mm[sup]“Ergh–”[/sup]mmm[sub]wump[/sub]mm[sup]“Sob!”[/sup]mmm[sub]bumpBUMP[/sub]mmm[sup]“Someoargh–”[/sup]mmm —

Music, baby. **

Hmmm thats what it sounded like when I accidently put my cat through the dryer…

[Sunspace]

— mmm[sub]thump[/sub]mmmm[sup]“Ee!”[/sup]mmm[sup]"It’s toourghf–[/sup]"mmm[sub]ka-dump[/sub]mm[sup]“Ergh–”[/sup]mm
m[sub]wump[/sub]mm[sup]“Sob!”[/sup]mmm[sub]bumpBUMP[/sub]mmm[sup]“Someoargh–”[/sup]mmm —

And add FABRIC SOFTENER! Lots and lots of fabric softener!

Maybe we can push the horrid undead thing back into the terrifying softness dimension that is its lair, all the way back through some kind of dimensional inversion, so that it comes out all hard and snarly and pointy, as befits its evil nature.

[l1I235]

*Originally posted by Sunspace *
**Oh deluded fool! Can you not see that he is sapping your will with pleasantries? The soft velveted touch, that somewhere back in your mind calls up the embrace that cuddles the infant… the relaxing music, so like a child’s lullaby… the subliminal imprecation to ‘just relax and I’ll take care of everything’? This is the siren song of tyrants everywhere! That velvet conceals paw and claw of steel! When you’re not looking, deaw widdle Snuggles will creep from the laundry basket and tear your heart out.
**

If I was still in theatre, I’d use this as my audtion monolouge.

(melodramatically stretches arms out)

O! deluded fool!

(clenches in fists)

Can you not SEE that he is sapping your will with pleasantries?

[Olentzero]

snarf Haw! I can just see that now, mademoiselle. Thanks for the early morning chuckle.

[Sunspace]

Thank you!

[Spit]

*Originally posted by BlahMan *
**Yo,

I remember back when Snuggle Softener or whatever first came out (I was like 6 or something). They had a promo to get a ‘snuggles’ bear, you needed to get a UPC from the small, medium, and large containers of the softener… I was severly traumatised by this, and I have never been the same since…I intend to sue the company for psychological trama, and have them pay in snuggle bears…Then I can create my Snuggles Army and TAKE OVER THE WORLD…**

I too, tried to get a Snuggle bear, but to no avail.

I was also severely damaged by this.

Let us join forces and take over the world Blah!

[Tenacious D]

We’ll lead as two kings!!..We’ll lead as two kings!!

[/Tenacious D]

[BlahMan]

H@#! yah Spit,

You can be my Grand Commander of All My Military Forces!!!

-Blah

[andi98]

does anyone know where I can watch that commercial where he jumps
off the shelf I have been looking everywhere thanks

[Zebra]

You’re going to need an old priest, a young priest and a Delorean.

Go back to 2002 and you’ll have better luck.
or here.

[Sunspace]

It may have been ten years… but: the evil endures.

[Jackmannii]

I hear that in the sequel to “Ted”, Mark Wahlberg kills the bear but it comes back on a zombie killing spree. :eek:

[andi98]

Thank You thats what I wanted