So aliens land. What do you ask for?

You’re driving by yourself on a dark night. Out in a field you notice strange flashing lights. Overcome with curiosity, and a desire to be in the history books, you walk out. It’s a spaceship, and there’s an alien outside, taking soil samples. You approach, do the obvious things about finding out whether it can communicate. You discover it’s there for a half hour, never to return. What do you ask it?

Care for some Reeses Pieces?

“Can I go with you?”

I’d try to find out how it got here. If we humans could get star-traveling technology, we could travel to the stars. (Please forgive the bad wording.)

Hit it over the head with a big stick and steal its spaceship.

“How’s Elvis?”

<Bender> Hit it over the head with a big stick and steal its wallet.</Bender>


“Did you decontaminate yourself, so your micro-organisms don’t wreak havoc on Earth’s ecosystem? If not, can we pretty-please have a translated copy of your biomedical databases? So we can survive, I mean.” :eek:

“Ummm…do you have a name?”

“So, uh…how YOU doin’?” :wink:

I’d try to buy the spaceship by telling him that pocket lint is a valuable commodity on this planet.

License and registration.

I’d steal the ship. Hopefully the controls will be simple enough to enable me to steal the vehicle.


I’d first see if they are any aliens I might know or could trust. If so, then I’d see if they have the spare parts I need so that I can fix my busted space ship and get the hell off of this planet. If they don’t have the parts I need, then I’d ask them for a lift home. :slight_smile:

Could you not put that there?

Same thing I always ask for: Can I have a $100,000 in small unmarked bills?

The secret of fusion (or other forms of clean) power.

I’d ask them for a big barrel of spice. It sounds like it might go well with coffee and a slice of toast, and I get freaky blue eyes and psychic powers to boot.

Do you swallow?


Some way to log on to its internet. That would be worth buying my own satellite transmitter (transponder?) for.

And I’d stay in touch with it over email, and fix my friends up with its good-looking cousins.