Seriously, how the hell did this thread get posted fourteen times? I mean, Jesus Christ on a soda cracker, that’s seems unpossible!
Unpossible? Threads like that embiggen us all!
That’s not a thread, it’s a freakin’ hawser!
Wow, I jumped into this thread to suggest that a dodecapost is a new record.
However, I missed the top two of them. What the hell is that? qadecapost?
I hate it when hamsters and newbies conspire to confound my vocabulary with their unlikely antics.
Like a virgin…HEY!..except her submit button was prodded about fourteen times…
Like a virrrrgin… etc…
BOO! HISS! GAG! Where’s Simon when you need him?
It looks like the Mods deleted all your evidence, dude.
Bummer, man.
But I read more into it. It wasn’t just a rant about being asked to borrow a book, or a pencil, or a pen, or a sheet of paper, or a Scantron® form.
No, there was an urgency that seeped through the multiple posting. A sense of angst-soaked desperation - mingled with frustration, of course - at the imposition of having to part with (or at least share) one’s school supplies. The inclusion of a Scantron® form in the subject line was, for this reader, the tip-off that the situation was grave, at least in the mind of the poster. For a Scantron® form is more than a mere pencil or piece of paper, or even a bottle of Liquid Paper®. A Scantron® form is both a testing and grading device, unique - and therefore, sacred - to its owner. It’s “make-or-break” as far as Scantron® is concerned, for the Scantron® doesn’t mince words like an aging hippie professor grading papers one by one, the mind wandering as the acid flashbacks fade in and out like the breaking waves on a biological-waste-ridden Jersey shore. “Careful, Johnny. Don’t step on the needle…”
“Careful, ILikeMadonna. Don’t express individuality. Conform. Use the Scantron®. Enjoy the all-too-real yet discomforting security you find in its rigidity. No one will judge you but the Scantron® machine. No one. You’re safe with Scantron®.”
The Scantron® is the speed to the professor’s psychedelics: you have your grade - one grade, in numbers, not letters - right there. No comments. No feedback.
Therefore, to borrow one’s Scantron® is akin to stealing one’s perceived right to a bottom-line scholastic - and societal, even - validation.
Hence the fourteen posts.
What exactly is a Scantron? I assume it’s some gizmo or other they have in the States that’s less common over here. I would just look it up myself, but the last unfamiliar term I looked up a definition for was “Sybian”, and I had to lie down for a while after that …
HEY…you can push the button all you want and she might STILL be a virgin. Sheesh. Don’t you know anything about anatomy?
It’s one of those test things where you carefully fill the little circle next to the correct answer (a, b, c, d) with a No. 2 pencil and it is run through a machine which grades it.
When first I viewed the title I thought for sure it said ‘Scranton’.
I thought it was a Pennsylvania thing. ‘NO!, you may NOT borrow Scranton! And I see you eyeing Lancaster!’
Thank you. I’m enormously relieved to hear that.
I think they make models where you can stand up, too.
I was still chuckling over Steve’s comment when I got to Spiff’s. Now my co-workers think I’m a lunatic.
Anyone willing to put up with our little town is welcome to it. Just be effective.
Hey! You burning my river!
Oh wait, that was Cleveland. Never mind.
It was just after dark when the truck started down, the hill that leads into Scranton Pennsylvania
You don’t want to know what I read instead of Scantron. If you do, let me just include the thought I wouldn’t borrow or lend a scrotum.