I spent the last two weeks taking the final class in my quest for certification as a Level 2 Acquisition Professional. Lest ye get all impressed, allow me to say that it means neither monetary gain nor status enhancement nor professional recognition. It’s merely a ticket I needed to get punched. I’m still a grunt-working design engineer and the only acquisition I do at work is acquiring a variety of pretty highlighters because I can.
So anyway, I’m back, fully certified, occasionally certifiable, and completely thrilled to sleep in my own bed and prepare my own meals again. I had very limited net access so I only got to peek in at the boards at random and wide-spaced intervals. Obviously, I missed all the “Where the heck has FCM gotten off to?” threads. However, I know my legions of admirers undoubtedly paced the floor fretfully, fearing the worst. And little is worse that the preceeding overuse of adverbs and marginal alliteration.
So, didjas miss me?? Please, please. One at a time. Don’t crowd the mike. Everyone will get a chance.
So that’s why we’ve experienced that great gaping void around here! Welcome back, FCM. Now stand over there (move a bit closer) so’s I can take the group photo, 'kay?
Are you KIDDING? Of course I remember you and missed you!
Remember that time when we were at that place…you know, with the door? And then those other three folks showed up and we were laughing because of what happened? LOL!
Good times. Good times.
Seriously, welcome back. Getting certified is pretty cool.
Of course I remember you, I’ll never forget those nights we lay in each others arms on the beach at Acapulco…
no wait, that was somebody else.
I’ll never forget that week we spent on Cyprus, making love every afternoon in the…
No wait that was someone else.
Truthfully, I’m glad to see you again FCM. Congrats on your certification, although Acquisition Professional sounds a little…unusual. What exactly do you acquire?
I’ve been acquiring things all my life, but I didn’t know you can get certified at it.
I probably shouldn’t have acquired that bottle of wine earlier.
Anyway welcome back. I think I need to go lay down now.
As to the deal with Acquisition Professional, some time back for some reason, the powers that be in the Naval Air System Command (or maybe at a higher level - I don’t know) deemed that all engineers are acquisition personnel. In theory it means that if the Navy decides it needs a new aircraft, it would be beneficial, nay, important, to have engineers on the team to work with the contractors that would design and build the aircraft.
I see the logic in that. What I don’t entirely get is why I, a lowly design engineer whose life revolves around P-3 landing gear, should have to suffer to achieve this certification. Well, I usta think that way, but now I aspire to work as the aforementioned NAVAIRSYSCOM, so I may well be dealing with contractors and manufacturers and such.
So, the short answer is, professionally, I acquire nothing yet, but perhaps some day I’ll be on the front lines of defense, ensuring our airborne combattants have the best doggone aircraft that technology and money can provide. <cue patriotic music> And as we march into the future, secure in our freedom, I know I’ll sleep better having giving my all for the military professionals who protect our liberties and way of life. <wiping away a little tear>
Now wait a doggone cotton-picking minute. It’s Mother’s Day - that certainly should apply to virtual mothers too. Where’s my present?? Where’s my card? I’m beginning to think that you’re a mighty poor excuse for a virtual daughter. Now quit whining and do the virtual dishes before I virtually ground you for the rest of the virtual day!!
Just one at a time, my friend, just one at a time.
(And only one these days.)
FCM, your explanation brought a lump to my throat as I imagined you, in black and white of course, saluting as a bunch of military shenanigans go on over your comely sholder. Oh wait, I should put a uniform on you shouldn’t I? I’m getting my day-dreams mixed up again.
Anyway, we’re glad you’re back. It’s been too quiet around here without you.
It’s been brutal without you babe. I wrote three new blues songs just cogitatin’ on the FairyChatMom sized hole in my heart since you went away. I’ve been spending a lot time staring into the distance, lost in the horizon wondering when will you’d come back to me.
Here’s how sad you made me.
People, people, people,
you know what it means to be left alone
People, people, people,
you know what it means to be left alone
No letter today from FairyChatMom,
not even a call on my telephone
Understandin’ in a little lovin’,
a little lovin’ is all in the world I need
Understandin’ in a little lovin’, FairyChatMom,
a little lovin’ is all in the world I need
Misunderstandin’ in a good woman,
they both have caused my heart to bleed
Every morning,
the willow weeping moan for me
Every morning,
the willow weeping moan for me
The boy sing me a little song,
my baby’s caused my heart to bleed.
Bumbazine, your daydreams are the stuff years of therapy are made of. As for black and white - not today. I’m in purple shorts and a blue flowered t-shirt. It looks terrible, but I’m home alone, so what do I care? And as for the uniform, I gave up all rights to wear one back in the 80s… I’m a civilian employee of good ol’ Uncle Sam.
astro, I can honestly say I’ve never been so touched before. Words fail me.
Excuse me, I need to be alone with my thoughts for a bit… <sniff sniff>
OK, this is a bump because I’m so needy and pathetic. The sensitive among you will see this as a cry for attention. The rest of you just wish I’d hush and fade away. I will, eventually… I promise. But can’t I be an attention whore for just a little while?
<sigh> I’m so ashamed…
