When I mentioned this to my wife, she elbowed me in the ribs.
I thought she was trying to disarm my wit. Turns out, she only wanted to warn me that others might think my sense of humour is sick.
After all, forewarned is forearmed.
I would email her in a second, but as many puns as I’ve thrown through here, I would be very polite, and I probably wouldn’t post what she told me unless she gave permission.
Because really,
she seems a little off
jarbaby
I just wanted you all to know that I don’t find any of your sick, sick jokes to be humerus.
Did you hear about the lady that backed into the airplane propeller?
Disaster!
Don’t try to butt in here with your underhanded jokes.
can some one help me please?
I’m having a hard time fingering this one out.
Thumbthing should be done about it.
Maybe we should dig-it a hole?
Put another nail on the coffin?
Make a joint resolution to stop?
Wow, considering the last thread we had about this, I’m surprised we don’t have any jokes about the brand of hooks this woman says about ten thousand times on her site.
I guess I’ll take my BIG BOOK OF TWIN BODY-POWERED PROSTHESES WITH DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS JOKES elsewhere, then.
Umm, this thing is heavy. Could someone give me a hand?
(Hey, I tried to make this funny. How about a hand for trying?.. ok i’ll stop now)
I’ve got to hand it to you Spinne, that’s some funny stuff there. I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something about your wit that’s extra sharp
Most of you need to be backhanded!
What an underhanded thing to do!
in all seriousness, could this be a joke? I wonder if we could submit it for Weird Earls?
I wonder how they could have sex after she’s an amputee?
Would she have special accessories for handjobs?
Man, I got here too late. I wanted to use the line “you can’t shoot people who are unarmed!” but it was basically taken. All of my jokes were taken. I’m, well, I’m just stumped.
Oh god, that was the best.
No more “Fists of Fury” for the handless maiden?
What will she do with his love handles?
Okay people, get a grip and stop with the cutting remarks. We need to get this situation under hand.
[sub]I don’t want to fall to pieces, but I have a feeling we’re all going to hell in a hand basket for this thread[/sub]
Never fear. I assume that before we know it a mod will sweep in and close this thread with the swift hand of justice that they’re known for.
And if they so much as THINK about it I’ll go mano-a-mano with 'em all…
BTW, d’ya suppose she works for Allstate?
Since no SDMB thread is complete without a reference to the works of Tom Lehrer, I offer the following two stanzas for your delectation (sung to a gentle waltz):
*I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.
My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.*
The whole idea seems pointless to me.
Removing a perfectly good set of hands…that’s totally beyond the radius of my comprehension.
I just can’t grasp it.
Hmmm…Maybe she’ll be the body modification artist formerly known as ‘Prints’.
This is the only thread handy hasn’t posted to.
Would you really want a woman who is willing to chop off her own arms to be anywhere near your genitals? I wouldn’t.