So help me, I want one of these and I am not a rube. Really. I swear.

Qlink

It looks like some alien cult members necklace but wait THERE’s MORE! It promises:

it has loads of endorsement by New Agey peoples and a few big names in sports feilds I’ve never cared about or knew about. I should be repulsed, yet I cannot turn away…

It’s a good thing I don’t have the cash. ($299 +s/H. Cheaper on Ebay)…anything that promises enhanced mental focus…stamina and more…( I think it’s alluding to sex, don’t you?) is righty-o by me.
Gah.

I still wants one and I know its wrong. I don’t lose my Doper Membership, do I?

Hey, I’m a sucker for slick advertising. They put natural light in a neat new can for a while and I bought some even though I knew for a fact that it would taste like crap.

I’m sure this thing does exactly what the advertisement says it will. Of course I’m sure that Qlink has been subjected to rigorous double-blind clinical testing and that the controls in those trials were impeccable.

And if you think the Qlink is great, I’ve got a bridge I’d like to sell you. How about some gorgeous beachfront property in Nebraska? I could hook you up with that, too.

HAH!
There is no such state as Nebraska! Ever met a Nebraskan? If they said yes, they are really Gov’t Agents. …I’ve said too much! You can’t fool me!

You know, yesterday I tripped and fell down for the first time in about 7 years. I scraped my elbow and bruised both my knees, and I feel really crummy today, all over.

Do you think I dented my biofield?

I had Qlink when I was a kid. It was the coolest thing evah.

No, but we get to poke you mercilessly.

Poke poke.

The thing about the Qlink is, it isn’t safe to accidentally put it through the washing machine. Unless you’re also using laundry balls. Then it’s A-OK.

Would something like that clash with my copper bracelet that promised an end to my joint pain? I also have the shoe insoles with magnets and a good hope necklace. I wouldn’t want it to interfere with them.

I am so glad I wasn’t the only one who thought of that.

Naw, as long as you’ve got your worry beads you’ll be okay.

Shirley, if you want one of those, here’s your Wal-Mart!

More power-to-the-people than you can shake a stick at.

I particularly recommend the Harmonic Protector Pendants found on this page for keeping the lions away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh…Sample…that, indeed, is the Walmart of ‘What The Man Don’t Want You To Know’.

I loves it!

All that is missing is Crop Circles and Loch Ness Monsters.

::::::::::::ChemTrails…they’re everywhere, man:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Am I reading this correctly from the web page linked in the OP?

They actually use these things on race horses to reduce their stress? Seems to me they would have been better off to get a testimonial from a human that uses it.

And you gotta love this guy’s business model.

He ain’t selling a thing. No, sir!

He’s providing information. And for a donation to his not-for-profit information site, you’ll get a thank-you gift. Just like PBS. Only it ain’t a tote-bag… it’s a Holy Handgrenade!

And people think I make this stuff up.

They do. The reason this has been brought to my attention is through the powers of junk mail. I got their magazine just chock full of endorsements of the Wunderbar kind. Loads of semi-celebrities and one rather amusing Double Blind Live Test on the Harvard (or Naval Academy, can’t remember) Gymnastic team. HAH!
In other Burning Questions:, is the opposite of chock unchocked or dechocked. What the hell is chock anyway? Yes, I am too lazy to google.

Ok, Shirley, I’m being 100% serious here, I’d really like to get a copy of that mailer. I’ll even explain chock if I have to! (Ok, it’s totally benign, but it’s all the leverage I got.)

I haven’t run across that one, and studying scams is part of my current work. I can go online, but direct mail marketing is different, and I’d love to see the hardcopy. Can you help me?

I salvaged it from my garbage pile. Send me an email with the specifics and it is yours for the asking!

:smiley:

Sample! quit being a productive member of society and start surfing the boards and send me an email, dangit!

Hey there. I’m at lunch. I never surf non-work at work. I’ll email you this evening when I’m back home. Right now I need to get some food in me and get back to peeking into the human psyche for pay! See you tonight at Rick’s Cafe. :wink:

I think it’s pretty cool looking, and I would wear one if I owned one. The “biofield benefits” are just icing on the cake.