I need some advice and guidance from those who know these things, because I’m a social-media Philistine.
First, some backstory. Cue musical interlude.
I had collected around 60 or so little essays I’d written in various places – primarily here at the Dope – and packaged them as a humor book. Sent query letters to umpty-um agents, and got umpty-um “thank you, but I’d rather eat four-day-old sputum than read your book” letters in return. So I gave up the idea of being a world-famous humorist with scads of hot and sexy babes flocking to me, which I would then gently but firmly refuse, because I’m happily married to a lovely and talented woman who knows how to use a knife.
Anyway, about four months later, one of the agents writes me back! Out of the blue! And says, “I may have been a little hasty before; I’d love to look at your work.” The skies cleared! Sunshine poured down! Choirs of angels were singing hosannas around me!
And, wonder of wonders, she loved it! I have “a great voice”! She thinks she can market my work! But! …
But. I’m told there’s absolutely no market for books of humor essays (ESPECIALLY by guys) unless the guy in question is already famous. The skies darken. The choir of angels packs up and goes on tour without me.
She suggests I create a book of Man-Rules, because one of the essays she absolutely loved was one I wrote here, Learn and use the Man-Rules when it comes to showers.
So, for the next six months, I work in my spare time on the book. And it’s pretty good, if I do say so myself. And just as I’m about to finish it, I get a call from my agent, who says she’s leaving the agenting business.
Well. This is something of a downer. Not as bad as the time I wrote a horror novel and finally … FINALLY … got an agent and then he died two weeks later, but still not good. Anyway, she gives me the names of several colleagues at various agencies and recommends that I send it to them.
So essentially I’m back at square one, except I have a semi-warm introduction to other agents. This means the rejection letters come back much faster than they normally would, which I suppose is an improvement.
Anyway (and I promise I’m getting to the point in a moment), one of the agents says he really likes my writing, but the whole Man-Rules thing is played out at this point. (Which is diametrically opposed to what the first agent told me, but who am I to quibble?) He says that I’d have a better shot with a publisher if I could point to a successful blog or other online presence. In other words, he can sell my work if I’ve demonstrated that I don’t need someone to sell it.
Anyway, based on his advice, last month I created a blog: The Man Rules. If you’ve been here a long time, you’ll probably recognize a couple of the things posted there, but most of it is new stuff. I try to update it three or four times a week.
It’s slowly gaining some traction; I’m getting around 100 page views a day, give or take. I haven’t done anything to publicize it other than mention it to a handful of friends.
Which brings us back to the original question: How can I increase traffic on the blog? And what’s a good number of views per day, anyway? My online presence has been limited to the Dope and LiveJournal; I don’t even have a Facebook page. I am not a social media butterfly. I’m not even a chrysalis.
So, any advice? If you can help, I promise to mention you in my international bestseller. If you’re a hot babe, I promise to be extra gentle when I rebuff your advances.