The link is to a <relatively> local video caught of a guy ‘coaching’ his step-son in baseball…by hitting him with a belt whenever he doesn’t hold the ball or glove right.
On the other hand, I’ve become aware that in Sweden, no adult is allowed to legally strike a minor unless it’s self defense, not in any way whatsoever. It is actually punishable with jail time, and often is.
So…I think it’s safe to say I’m somewhere in the middle.
I grew up being swatted, and deserving every bit of it. And I’ve been around animals enough to know that physical discipline needs to be immediate and swift, then back to business as usual.
As the oldest of four, I remember the day my mom had to swat the diapered back-side of the youngest; all three of us oldest immediately got angry at my mom, and I think all four of us started crying at the same time because mom ‘hit the baby!’. Poor mom!!
Said baby was at that lovely ‘I can STAND! Let’s pull everything off of everything in the house so it’s down here with me!’ stage. My mom let us think about other ways to get through to an 8 month old, and of course it took us about 1.2 seconds to realize that a swat on the butt was the only thing that was going to get her attention, so…lesson learned. Early.
But this is the first time I’ve seen physical disipline like that being used to ‘train’ for a sport; this guy is supposedly a local coach, too, though I imagine he won’t be much longer.
I got to watch the video, then when I went to view the comments it had been taken down for violating youtube’s terms of service. Hopefully someone will repost it elsewhere online.
My motto in these situations is, *never *mistreat the person who gets to pick your nursing home. It looked like dad was really putting his back into those swings. The kid is obviously in pain, and the punishment is excessive, unnecessary, and counterproductive. Not only is this bad parenting, but it’s bad training. The kid is going to grow up hating baseball (and possibly all sports) because of this arsebum. He’s going to raise a kid who will never call or visit once he moves out, unless dad gets some freakin’ counseling. I don’t think CPS will rush the house and put him in foster care based on this video, but dad needs to learn appropriate techniques for the situation. If you *ever *take your anger out on your kid’s ass, you need some serious help.
It’d be one thing if the kid were doing something life-threateningly dangerous that required punishment to avert. I definitely believe in the quick application of hand to butt when a kid sticks a fork in an outlet or reaches for the stove or runs out in the street without looking. I don’t believe belting is ever acceptable, though. Moreover, the use of force to teach a sport is not only ridiculous, it’s totally counterproductive in the long-term.
I think, going by comments, that the guy was actually either a boyfriend of the mom, or maybe step-dad; not that it matters, but legally the mom stands a better chance with CPS if the guy ran <which it seems like he might have> and is kind of out of the picture, than if it were legally his father. My WAG, anyway.
There is a difference between hitting a physical discipline IMHO. I don’t ‘hit’ my kids. I will, however, forcibly remove them from a situation and/or grab a part of their anatomy to save them from hurting themselves or others.
That said, with children who are not yet verbal, sometimes tapping their hands to stop them from touching something is necessary.
That said, my mom used to whack us in the head with the TV Guide if we were picking on her. Since we were in our teens and more than big enough to take care of ourselves (and we were picking on her) this didn’t bother me. In fact, I knew my husband was officially part of the family when he made a jest at her expense and received the ‘TV Guide’ treatment. He was honoured.
I don’t like hitting either. I understand the quick swat on the butt and I might even be in favour of the occasional spanking, but not in anger. And belting is right out. Any man that takes a belt to his kid is no man, in my eyes. Big tough macho man, only person he can stand up to is a little kid. :mad:
Any physical discipline at all for poor sports performance is too much. If any corporal punishment is used, it should be for teaching a lesson about life threatening behavior, like running out in the street. It is not justified for anything else, including disrespectful behavior.
I more or less agree with Sweden, probably more than less. I never hit my kids, never and they are fine. I train my dogs without punishment, kids are smarter than dogs.
As a survivor of childhood abuse (physical, verbal and emotional) I cannot watch that kind of video without breaking down. My father didn’t belt us because he thought it was good parenting. He did it because he had an uncontrollable temper, and refused to get professional help for it.
I recovered after years of therapy . . . and lived to dance on my abuser’s grave. I hope that kid gets the help he needs.
I agree that hitting is usually wrong. **Rachelellogram **listed a few things that might warrant a light spanking. I also believe kids that get hit, hit themselves. Like bullying other kids.
Belting is always over the line, even for the kind of thing you could justifiably slap a kid for. And any kind of punishment for not doing well at sports is a little iffy… If they like it, they’ll want to do well at it without being punished, won’t they? Unless they’re very badly out of shape, any kid that doesn’t like sports should be left the hell alone to just go read a book or something.
Any time you feel the need to hit in anger or frustration you have crossed the line. Hitting is never a good form of dicipline.
It is amazing to me that peole who would never think to allow themselves to be beaten by an angry coworker or boss over a mistake have no compunctions at all about doing it to a defensless child.
If you would not allow someone else to do it to you, don’t do it to your kid.
And I’ve been around animals enough to know that physical discipline needs to be immediate and swift, then back to business as usual.