Free, un-used furniture? Sign me up!
I can’t fathom how I could feel good about this.
I understand that the parishoners want to help, but perhaps a gift card to Lowes and free labor would have been more appropriate.
The things people would find in my nightstand drawer…I’d never be able to show my face in church again!
No fucking way. I’m a pretty weird dude with very strange tastes. There is no way anyone could accurately predict what I may or may not like. They would probably throw out crap that actually means something to me. For example my bags of sand from beaches all over the planet. Hell, people have tried to help clean up my house and have done shit like thrown important sailing gear under a pile of wood and throwing all my tax documentation into the recycling bin. No thanks, OK?
Horrified would be an understatement. And on top of that, if I were really in a bad financial situation, I would feel like it was a terrible waste of money. Not that I wouldn’t be grateful, but new furniture and fresh paint would be at the bottom of the list if I were facing huge medical bills, an injured wife, and several kids in college.
Fortunately, nobody who really knows me would even consider doing something like that…
It depends on what they do. if they took away things I love, then I’d be upset about that. But if they genuinely improved everything that needed it and made my home a nicer place to be, then I’d be ecstatic.
The invasion of privacy argument doesn’t bother me.
Unless they found something unexpectedly incriminating, I suppose, but I’m pretty certain there isn’t anything so that’s unlikely.
No, I wouldn’t like it. (Tangent ahead) Neither would I like if my husband pulled off one of those “While You Were Out” deals. First of all, decorating is really personal and I don’t want someone else coming in and painting colors I don’t like in themes that I find hokey.
Secondly, while the rooms might look nice, appearances can be deceiving. They have a shoestring budget and quality has to suffer. For instance, I can’t imagine that a fountain made of plexiglass, rubber tubing, and pressed plywood is going to last. And if I wanted a light fixture made of a cheap shade with glued-on glass tiles, I would have made one myself for $12.58. (end of tangent)
But back to the pastor. I don’t know about this church, but in ours the priest has a home, paid for by the congregation. However, it’s not a private home in the sense that you might imagine. When you walk in, there’s an office where a secretary sits. Parishoners routinely host meetings, etc., in the priest’s home and use the kitchen and dining area. I haven’t been in the home often, but I don’t recall seeing any personal items in what is truly a common space. The only rooms considered truly “private” are upstairs, which I assume includes a bedroom, bathroom, and maybe a sitting room. And I’d imagine that even those are cleaned by a parishoner. So I doubt he’d have anything embarrassing sitting around.
Now the family in the OP may have a different arrangement but if the house is church owned and it’s routinely used as a meeting space, then a surprise remodeling makes it a lot less invasive than what it appears at first blush.
Yeah. Inexpensive gifts that are actually needed are more meaningful than exorbitant gifts that are nice, but are very low priority.
That’s why I think the vacation was a great idea, because it actually straddles both need and want. People need relaxation and often desire a chance to a get away, especially when dealing with major life stress. But having brand new furniture and major appliances when I’m having a hard time paying the utility bills would be hard to reconcile in my mind. Apart from selling it all, it wouldn’t really help my financial difficulties or ease my worries (unless, that is, the old stuff really was broken).
Good intentions… you know the rest. 
If my SO or close friends could be in on it, I’d love it. My family would probably do an all right job, but our tastes do not mesh. I’d love a warning, and would try to leave some interior decorating clippings around and then act surprised.
God help anyone who would do it as part of a Changing Rooms-style show. There’s too little time and too many crazy, nautical-loving hosts.
Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. I guess I’m presuming they didn’t go through every last drawer and box and what have you, but even if my imaginary army of remodeling angels found the whips and chains, it’s a dignity sacrifice worth making so I don’t have to do all the work myself.
They had some interior decorators working on the team? Even better, I get professional decorating services I’d never pay for myself, free.
Yuck, no, I would hate it. Strange people in my house, picking out my furniture, ewww.
However, I am also the kind of person who watches shows like Trading Spaces and says out loud “OMG, that is crazy and I would die if strangers* ever touched a thing in my home.” And I have friends with whom I’ve seen these shows who have said “Are you kidding? I would love that, sign me up!” So I can only hope that this couple has expressed some level of similar thought to their children and friends.
*In a situation like this, strangers=anyone who is not me.
I’m surprised that people would feel the slightest bit of gratitude.
First of all it is offensive to me that my “friends” would think that my place needs remodeling.
It is presumtuous to think that they would be able to do a better job remodeling.
There is the whole invasion of privacy issue, not to mention damaging or throwing away my stuff.
And quite frankly, I find the entire idea those remodeling/makeover shows morally offensive. The idea that somehow someone “deserves” a 3000 square ft McMansion because they have a hard luck story is crap. Lots of people bust their ass to afford a place they can make do with. But at least it’s THEIR place.
On the “waste of money” thing, I’m not sure but I think it may have been partly intended to help them by increasing their net worth. I’ve never been to their house but I know the area- it’s a Baby Boomer Birth Era neighborhood where most of the houses were starter homes and have the same basic floor plans:
-Tiny LR/DR combo
-Eat in Kitchen
-3 or maybe 4 small bedrooms
Of the houses I’ve been to there, many (and I’m guessing this one since they had 6 kids) also have a big add on den [and or extra bedroom] on back to make up for the rest of the house being so small.
Anyway, houses in that area sell for around $100k (some more some less) when they sell (which here as everywhere is less often than it once was). I think some of the logic may have been “If their house is currently worth $100k and mortgaged to the hilt, then by modernizing the appliances/renovating the kitchen/painting/making it a lot more attractive, etc.” we can raise the house’s value to, say, $115k (a number I pulled from the air) though we haven’t invested anywhere near that in terms of cash."
As mentioned, I don’t know if this was an incentive, but it would have been something I’d have thought of in ‘why to do it’. I still say “don’t do that without the person’s knowledge and consent and cooperation”, but not a bad idea if that was one of the reasons.
ETA: I don’t know if it was a motivation or not, but Montgomery (where this is) very recently had an “Extreme Home Makeover” episode filmed here (so recently I don’t know that it’s aired yet). So that was probably a “Hey, we can put on a show right here in this old barn!” type inspiration.
Gifts are nice regardless of size. the problem is if it’s not something the recipient likes everybody feels bad. I wouldn’t want to find out we made a $10,000 bad gift. I think the recipient should know that changes are going to occur and have input so it’s something they can live with. Everybody is then happy for sure and the effort not wasted or begrudged.
Put me in the horrified camp.
My stuff is MY STUFF. I don’t want anyone sorting through my file folder of tax forms, bills, and knitting patterns. Or seeing my holey underwear. Or which stupid paranormal romance (read:romance with werewolves) is hiding under the bed.
The likelihood that someone would redecorate in a manner not to my taste is fairly high, but that’s not the real problem. I think I could live with that–if I was told there was going to be a suprise remodel and given a touch of input into things.
But I don’t want people touching my stuff without my presence.
It would leave me deeply depressed, even if on the surface I acted like I was thrilled.
A lot of the things that are in my home now are here by default, and do not reflect my tastes at all. If someone tried to guess, or ask my friends or family what I like, it would be based on my default stuff. I’m in the process of getting rid of all the things I own that I was given and that I do not love, and getting them out of here can be charged with guilt. It’s a work in progress, and no one but me knows what I want. I’m discovering that for myself as I go along. I’m having a blast, but it’s something I hug to myself for the most part. If someone came in here and took over decorating this place, I would be devastated-- being thrust back to square one, with a house full of things I did not choose and that do not reflect me at all.
I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings when they give me a gift, so I accept it and use it. I would be depressed by a gift of this magnitude, because I would feel that I couldn’t confide in anybody that they disrupted my process of digging my way out of crap that I hate, and dumped a new batch on me. Ugh. How ungrateful that would be.
I also would be horrified to have someone take things out of my dresser and move them to another one–I have a couple of bras that are ratty and old enough to vote, and many other things around here I don’t want to disclose to just anyone. Nothing really nasty, just shudder-worthy to have others see. Like the poetry I wrote when I was seventeen, for example.
I would love it if someone offered to help me change things in my house, but a sneaky remodel–heck, no.
I would be absolutely horrified. I know there are things kicking around that are innocuous but embarrassing, and I need to have complete control (when possible) of my personal surroundings. Plus, I’m a fairly odd duck, and I doubt even my family could replicate my taste in furnishings. My mom probably for the most part, my sister maybe, but my father and brother? Seriously doubt it.
(Part of this is that I’m still kind of ashamed of some of my oddness for no legitimate reason and wouldn’t want it to be seen by people I interact with frequently. Assuming the people in the op are normal, my concerns obviously wouldn’t apply. Though I wonder sometimes if there really are any utterly “normal” people. Surely everyone must have their quirks.)
I don’t own a house or have kids. But, if I did and my adult children and good friends were involved I am sure they would do a good job. I am assuming the kids know their parents taste pretty well and realized that the furniture had been there a long time and needed an upgrade. If there was a la z boy that the dad loved I am sure they would have known to keep it. Sounds like a fun and awesome gift, to me.
I’d hate it beyond expression.
We recently moved house, and my husband got stuck with more than his share of the packing because I had all-day morning sickness. In between thanking him for doing it, I had to stop myself from yelling at him for TOUCHING MY STUFF STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. And this is the person I’m closest to in all the world. Strangers remodelling my entire home? I’d go ballistic.
Recognising that it was done out of inappropriately expressed kindness, I’d like to think that - not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings - I’d be immediately calling the police to sort out what charges I could press - illegal entry, vandalism and theft spring to mind - before speaking to a lawyer to work out what damages I could claim.
Unfortunately I think a more realistic assessment of my reaction to the situation, given that everyone involved would want to be there for the big reveal, would be to sort out who was the ringleader and punch them in the face until I couldn’t lift my arms any more.
Needless to say, any future contact between me and these people would need to involve legal staff.
So I think on balance you’d have to put me down as a considered, but definite, feeling of disfavour.