So I almost flashed the UPS lady...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I work from home. I usually shower every day, but some days it starts to get late in the day before I get around to it.

So today I was working diligently and around 3:00 let the dog out. I went to the basement and got my laundry and then remembered that I had not yet showered.

I went to the bathroom and undressed - then I remembered my poor little dog.

I live in a secluded area, so I didn’t think too much about walking down to the front door naked - no one is likely to see me.

Just as I was about to open the door, the door bell rang. It was the UPS woman - nearly 3 hours earlier than usual! Now, unless it is something big, she leaves the stuff, rings the bell, and leaves.

A few seconds later and she would have seen me in all my nakedness!

No doubt I would then have to start picking up my UPS packages at the depot…

2

Unexpected Penis Survey?

‘Here’s your package. Oh, would you like me to pick up that one?’

3

And you might have found out what Brown can do for you.

4

I guess she’ll never know.

5

I did that once - the problem became that it wasn’t the UPS person - it was the repair man coming back to pick up his equipment and he wasn’t going away.

The problem was that there was no way to get to clothes without streaking - as all the window curtains were open, and my front door had clear glass on either side. I basically crawled across the floor to the basement door where we usually had winter coats hanging on peg hooks (it was summer) - but of course - my mom had decided to take them all to the cleaners. So I ended up struggling in to my father’s basketball windbreaker from back when he was a toothpick - grabbing it closed enough around my boobs and butt to not violate indecency laws - and crack the front door open enough to tell him to let himself in to the basement and I’d meet him down there. Once he had started that way - I ran up the stairs - threw on clothes - and tried to pretend that hadn’t just happened.

6

em-bare-ass-ing!

7

My husband once opened the door undressed to let me in, except it was the Avon lady, who never did come back. If only he would do that to the door-to-door Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons.

8

And in my fantasy, the Mormon is Eliza Dushku.

9

Oh God! I very ocassionally run downstairs to the kitchen in the buff (but only for a second to grab something). My kitchen is at the back but the USPS and UPS know that my doorbell is in the back and it’s a glass door! I haven’t been caught yet and would die if I were. Why do I do it? Well my house has a very convoluted floor plan and sometimes it’s easier to just run down naked for a minute rather than detour into a room where my robe may or may not be!

10

Our street is off a main road in our small town.
A while back, they closed the main road to do repairs. Barricades were erected, and road-wide pile of gravel about 14 feet tall was placed 100 feet behind them. Drivers had no choice but to turn around, or turn left down our street and go that way.

This condition lasted about a year. About every 3 or 4 nights, we’d hear a huge “crunch” from drunks or idiots who refused to believe that the 10 foot signs reading “Road Closed” actually applied to them.

Being 3 houses away, and the only one awake, I’d usually call the cops, and let them deal with things.

One night after a particularly loud smash and crunch, I called the cops and went back to bed.
I heard something later, but couldn’t tell what, so strode to the front door - naked of course- and threw it open to look around.

Now, a man should be able to stand naked at his front door at 3:15 am pretty much anywhere and not cause trouble, but no. Standing there ready to knock and ask for help was a small, old Chinese woman who started screaming.

Now, I’m used to women being a bit aprehensive, even shocked when they first see me naked:D, but I never had one scream.

Assuming something dreadful was/had happened to her, I reached for her to pull her to safety inside. Didn’t really think about the naked aspect. She struggled free and ran away screaming.

The police later came to question me; Mrs. Chinese Lady spoke no English, but somehow managed to convey “naked man attack me” to the cops.

It all got sorted out, but my kids still tease me about “chasing women around the yard while naked”.

11

So…did you deliver your package?