So I give out trashy presents. mild long whiney rant about work place gift exchange

The BBQ Pit
1

Today at work, we had our first ever holiday gift exchange. Everything was pretty standard, each of us drew one person’s name and bought a gift in the $10-20 range. I love buying presents, and usually get something for each person in the lab. I like to think (and have been told) that I have a knack for giving great gifts. Sometimes the gifts I give are a bit bizarre (like this thing here that I got for a friend of mine http://www.childrens-halloween-costumes.org/shoulder-dragon--baby.html) but I try very hard to fit the present with the recipient.

This year, with only one person to buy for, I wanted to make sure the present I got was something truly tailored for the recipient. Unfortunately, I don’t know the person who’s name I drew very well. I put a great deal of thought into what to get her, and since I couldn’t decide on anything unique for her, I finally opted to get her two of my favorite things, though tailored to her as much as possible. I went to Yankee Candle Company and got a tart burner and oodles of tarts in a hodgepodge of yummy fragrances. Because I know she likes flowers (who doesn’t?) and she’s very elegant and reserved, the warmer I got her was decorated with lilies. They’re rather elegant and reserved too, so appropriate, I thought.

I’d gone over the monetary limit at that point, but felt the warmer alone wasn’t enough, so to go along with it, I got her two pair of Christmas socks. I love socks, in all styles, colors, and patterns, so usually give them as an incidental present on any and every occasion (another mini rant here but why the heck don’t they make socks for men which are as fun as the ones they make for women???). Again, I tried to tailor the socks to the recipient. I could’ve gotten her the ones with the cute kittens in gift boxes, or the ones with monkeys with santa hats, or even the candy cane striped toe socks, but I chose the sedate white ones with a wreath at the ankle and the red ones with green trim and tiny Christmas trees at the cuff.

I stowed everything away in a hat box, wrapped it up, put a ceramic bell on the package as a decoration, feeling content, that while not a perfectly tailored to the recipient present, it was something she’d be pleased with.

Fast forward to today. We all went to lunch and the gifts were handed out afterwards. She unwrapped the present, opened the hat box, looked inside briefly, closed it, and that was that. Later, she wadded the wrapping paper, with the ceramic bell ornament still attached, and left it on the table at the restaraunt. That could have been an accident, perhaps she didn’t realize the bell was there, or whatever. After we all got back to work though, someone asked her what she’d gotten. She replied, “Just a bunch of trash.”

Everyone was talking for the rest of the afternoon about how rude she was, and wondering just what was in her gift. I didn’t quite know what to do, so tried to ignore it, but it’s been bugging me ever since. I can’t believe anyone would be so rude as to say that, especially not knowing who the present was from. As far as she knows, the person who asked her what her gift was could have been the same person who bought it for her. Even if it really is a horrid present, she could have shown enough class to pretend that it wasn’t. Maybe next year, I’ll save up a week’s worth of trash and give her that, rather than spend time and money trying to find something she’ll like.

2

:eek: That’s horrid! She’s not “classy” at all, she’s a graceless tactless lout! How lowbrow can you become?

I’d be half tempted to tell her how hurtful what she did was, and ask her what she’d have wanted as a gift instead of what you gave. Maybe if you “call her” on her bad behavior she’ll desist?

If you have to buy for her again next year, give her a box of chocolates, or something equally generic. Don’t waste your time on her again.

3

Lord God. That total bitch. I’d have picked her gift right up and taken it to a homeless shelter or something.

People like that remind me of my in-laws. Classless, to say the least.

4

Very very rude.

I wouldn’t have the guts to do this, but if you really want to make her feel bad, you could tell her the gift was from you, and you’re sorry she didn’t like it, and you would like to just give her the money instead, and you could take the gift back, since you actually like all that stuff and picked it out because it’s just the kind of stuff you would like.

You could even put periods in your sentences to make it fancy-like.

5

This is why I really hate all this sort of corporate-directed giftgiving. Things like this are bound to happen. Why must our companies force these games on us, as if we’re in kindergarten? They think building comeraderie increases productivity, but they inevitably go about it all wrong.

Your “elegant” coworker is a turd, of course.

6

Well, at least you know not to waste your time getting to know such a tacky, classless person.

The person I got in this year’s office Secret Santa was someone I didn’t know very well, but in our name-drawing, each person lists three suggestions on the slip with their name. Maybe your office can do something like that in the future, to help prevent this woman from insulting whoever draws her name next year.

7

She puts the ‘cow’ in ‘cow-orker’, to be sure.
We have a Yankee swap at my office every year and, while that takes some of the pressure off, I still always feel bad for the people whose gifts get unwrapped and traded right away.

8

I think you’re a bit confused. You don’t give out trashy presents, you give out nice presents to trashy people. Easy enough mistake to make, really.

9

That was a beautiful present! I just bought around $100 in toys (a lot for me) for my nieces and nephews. My husband just informed me that my inlaws would “prefer gift cards.” Arrrgggghhh.

10

This is why I do not participate in this type of crap. [Gollum]We hateses it we does[Gollum] I let everyone know as soon as this comes up that I will not be involved in this and do not want any gift, cards or anything! Bah.

Not to hijack, but a few years ago I did this, and it was agreed that we would spend under 2 dollars for gifts for 3 days. The persons name I drew got chocolates, candy and the like. The same guy drew my name and got quite expesive stuff, like a stuffed animal and other things at least 15 dollars. Then he is insulted because he got cheap stuff. I had no sympathy because he knew the price limit. I really hate this shit!

11

She is trash. Your gifts were charming, and you played the game properly – with care and the proper holiday spirit. I repeat – she is trash.

12

BrUthER! That’s awful, all that thought and time and effort and THAT’S how she reacts?

I’m sorry about that. Well, think about this, some poor waitress or busboy will end up with a nice little unexpected gift!

And I bet THEY’LL appreciate the heck out of it.

Also, if she’s around next year, I bet her gift really WILL be “trashy” to match her attitude.

13

Myabe yoyu’ll get lucky and pick her name again next year!! (evil smiley)

14

Your cow-orker was an idiot. You might want to mention to other people who can then spread the guilt to her that you feel so bad that she didn’t like your gifts, when you spent X amount of time picking them out and put all this thought and care into getting something you really thought she’d love, and how hurt your feelings were, etc., etc., etc. Pile it thick and deep, and see if other people can take her to task on your behalf.

Either that or next year give her a paper bag full of dog shit.

15

Be sure to set it beside her desk, on fire.

16

In a box. With rocks.

17

I would go over to her and, with a very sweet smile on your face, tell her you heard her say her gift was just a bunch of trash and you feel so bad about it, since you were the one who bought it, and you’d be happy to take it off her hands so she wouldn’t have to look at it anymore. Watch her try to backpedal. Just keep the sweet smile and keep apologizing, over and over and over. She will quickly start to feel VERY uncomfortable with your effusiveness. Make sure you do this while others can hear.

18

I agree with ** missbunny’s** suggestion. I’d also e-mail or pinted out and give this thread to her.

19

If you know specifically who was there when she made the statement about trash, you could also send a group email apologizing profusely and saying how sorry you are. She will probably reply to you only; then you can reply again to the entire distribution list, continually apologizing for your thoughtless actions. Keep apologizing and saying how bad you feel, how sorry you are, how stupid it was to buy such an obviously horrible gift. Do not get at all nasty. Be extremely, exceedingly polite. Her attempts to explain away her remark will be priceless and the talk of the office for a year.

20

Give her a Dildo. It sounds like she could use one