If you find a word for it, I would highly appreciate it if you would come back and post it.
I don’t have kids, I work in a lab environment where we occasionally have undergraduates from our university helping us out in return for credit. One of the students had this exact same problem, and it was totally maddening. We had to walk him through a proceedure EVERY SINGLE TIME we wanted it done. Even if we insisted that he write it down, he would inevitably lose the notebook, or not be able to read his own handwriting, or something. Now, this was an Ivy League student, so I’m assuming he wasn’t stupid - but we had to kick him out of the lab because he was such a collosal waste of everyone’s time and frustration. I felt bad, though, and I wish I had had some insight as to what might make him behave that way or some suggestions for how he could improve.
I can concentrate on reading far better in the back of a dark, somewhat noisy bar or at the counter of a crowded late-night diner than I can in a sterile, silent room. The extraneous input helps occupy the easily distracted part of my mind while I focus in on the material at hand. If movement or distracting behavior–like studying with the television on–seems to help, then go with it.
While it’s true that ADHD almost certainly has a neurophysiological component–it runs in families even when members are isolated–neurologists have failed to positively identify the particular regions where abnormality occurs (although general cortical hypoarousal–abnormally low activity in the outer or more “advanced” parts of the brain–is indicative of attentional problems) and in fact some believe that ADHD is a catch-all for different types of attentional disorders based upon various comorbid conditions (dyslexia, dyscalcia, anxiety, addictive disorders, dysthymia, et cetera). There is likely to be a significant environmental factor, i.e. a child that receives the correct training and structural reinforcement early may better cope with the condition.
It is certainly the case, again, that not all people diagnosed with ADHD respond to drugs, or to the same extent, nor are “the drugs” all of one class or act with similar mechanisms, and in fact there is no widely accepted explanation for why norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors like Bupropion (Wellbutrin) and Atomoxetine (Strattera) work, although it is perhaps noteworthy that both demonstrate effectiveness in the cessation of addictive behaviors which are more common among people with ADHD than in the general population. Pharmaceutical treatment shouldn’t be eschewed out of hand, of course–it is highly effective in many cases, the side effects are usually slight, and the dosages are so low (especially with stimulant medications) that concerns about dependance or systemic effects are a nonissue–but when ineffective (as it is with a significant minority of patients) it doesn’t mean that there are no other measures to be taken. Certainly many undiagnosed people–some highly successful–develop effective coping mechanisms without the use of drugs. (The use of alternative treatments like controlled diets and the like has some anecdotal support but naturally falls short of clinical evidence of efficacy.)
At any rate, the first thing the OP should do, if she is persuaded that her son’s problem might be an attentional disorder, is to seek the assessment of a qualified diagnostician and the advice of a professional versed in the treatment of ADHD, and follow through on the recommendations therefrom (whether positive or negative toward a diagnosis of ADHD).
My father claims that because of his memory-retention issue, you should probably have him checked out by a professional of some sort; describe it to his doctor exactly as you described it to us. There might be a simple learning disorder, he might need a new method of learning, or he might have some sort of memory loss disorder. My father is a former nurse, so there are other people on the board far more qualified than him, but he was really concerned when I read that aloud to him.
Not much to add to what has already been said. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in terms of having kids “lose” their planners, “forget” to bring home needed materials, having incredibly messy desks, etc.
Wanted to compliment you on your attention and concern, and support your actions so far. On more than one occasion we sent our kids back to school to retrieve forgotten books and such. Going over their assignments was a daily ritual - as well as reviewing their homework when completed. And my wife would go thru my son’s desk with him to help him organize it. Definitely be on the lookout for creative organizational approaches that may appeal to your son. Sometimes for my kid it was a simple as providing him supplies that he liked the feel of.
Keep up the good fight. It is your type of daily committment that makes a good parent.
A friend of mine’s father told her that she could drop out of high school in eighth grade if she could pass the GED. She was really excited by the idea (picturing sleeping in and playing all day, no doubt.) She studied really, really hard for the test but there was so much she had to learn that it took all of that year, and much of the next . . . Ended up that she never dropped out or took the GED and her schoolwork improved because of all of the study time she had put in. Her father was a bit smug about his “trick.”
I’m a disorganized person, and had trouble in school because of it.
Things eventually got better when I finally admitted to myself, “I have trouble keeping a three-ring binder organized.” Then, I asked myself, “Do I really need to do that?” I got spiral notebooks instead, and did a lot better at keeping my class notes organized now that I didn’t have to deal with the extra task of organizing a binder. You might want to see if you can get around some of his problems in that sort of way- ask yourself what really needs to be accomplished here (in my case, keeping my notes organized) and what would be nice and might help some people to accomplish that goal but isn’t really necessary (keeping an organized binder).
Are you sure the problem is that he doesn’t retain knowledge, or does he just have trouble with being put on the spot? I had a terrible time with flash cards, just because I don’t perform terribly well on the spot. I would have been able to figure out 9 X 4 on (say) a math test where it was quiet and I was writing it down on paper, but not instantaneously when asked out loud like that.