After months of looking, I finally got a job.
At Blockbuster video, where I worked a couple summers ago.
The catch is, that I have to work Christmas. It’s an absolute condition of my employment. Which means I can’t see my family. Not even my beloved uncle who’s been in India for the last year. Not my little cousin, who has apparently gone from babbling to speaking complete sentences since I last saw him. Christmas is a big deal in my family. Thousands of dollars get exchanged. everyone shows up. It’s the only holiday we still celebrate as a family. It’ll be our first Christmas without my great-grandmother. We’ve had a lot of deaths in the past few years, and the family is dwindling down to less than a dozen people sitting around the table (I remember when we needed three different christmas dinners just to fit everyone in!). And I won’t be there.
I’ll be sitting three hours away, eating leftover beans alone. Everyone i know will be out of town. The busses won’t even be running, so I’ll have to walk to work.
I just want to cry. This job won’t even garentee me 40 hours a week. They won’t garentee me 30 hours a week. Much less a regular schedule. They might end up doing what they did when I worked for them last time, which involved scheduling me for 16 hours several weeks in a row. Did I mention I’ll make $7.00 an hour. $100 bucks a week doesn’t really work well when you pay $600 a month in rent. I cried all the time that summer because I was hungry all the time. And now I get to do it for a living! But now I don’t get nifty things like school to look forward to.
I have another job interview to go to today, and one of Friday. Not that that is much hope- I think this is my twelvth interview in the last few weeks. I told Blockbuster I’d check up with my family and call them back about their job. I’d be okay missing Christmas for a real job. But for a job that doesn’t pay enough to cover rent? with no hope of advancement? Without even hope of knowing what my schedule would be like more than a couple days in advance?
Yeah, but I guess I should have figured out that things like choices, happiness or hope arn’t for the likes of me.