I love love love massage. I soak it up like a sponge.
And to think that the concept was almost a complete blank to me for most of my life. Not only didn’t I know that I needed human touch, I didn’t even know it was missing. That’s how blind I was to it.
Then my counselor introduced it to me. Yes, my counselor also did “bodywork”: touch, hugs, massage. And then I started to get the touch I craved. It was like water to a thirsty man; not having a girlfriend, most of my family far away or dead, living alone, I just didn’t get the healthy quantities of touch that most people do.
So when I can afford it, I get a full-body massage. I undress to my gocchies, get up on the massage table, and slide under the covers. Then the masseuse comes in and uncovers and massages one body part at a time.
My favourite parts? The feet. The head, especially the scalp. I had no idea I was getting massage when I went to the barber and they washed my hair; I just knew it felt very good.
And two times at work during “health week”, they brought in a masseuse. When I learned that it was going to be available, I ran down the hall to make an appointment.
Call around for massage schools, where the students work on you for a lot less money. Up here in TBay, I get massages at the CDI College for $25 per hour.
Earlier this summer I buggered up my shoulder canoeing. Numb thumb, pins and needles up my arm, and a heck of a lot of pain between my shoulder and backbone unable to sleep properly, short days at work, dribing very painful, etc. Nothing torn, just way to tense (checked it out at the hospital), so I asked for the biggest senior year massage therapy student at CDI, and shazam, after an hour with him I could move my shoulder again, and the numbness and pins and needles stopped. I was particularly lucky in that previously he had been a canoe guide, so he knew exactly what it was that was troubling me. Yes, the massage was quite painful at times (I didn’t scream), but to my immense relief, it worked.
Needless to say, that student can have a seat in my canoe (40 foot outrigger) any time he likes.
Actually, I prefer that to the majority of women who come in with two day stubble. Ouch - two day stubble is sharp! If you shave, shave the day of, please, or don’t shave for two weeks. That lets it grow out long enough to be soft. Never shaved at all isn’t sharp at all, and tends to be less dense than men’s legs, and I do just fine with those.
(Really, it’s the back acne that can be a little gross if it’s extreme. But, y’know, I’ve dealt with that before, and I’ll do it again, so don’t even stress about that.)
Oh, hell, it’s happened to you and (made-up statistic alert!) 85% of all men out there. *And *women; although we’re not so noticeable, we do get aroused during massage. It’s so natural it’s…just natural, that’s all. Someone is touching bits of you that don’t get touched usually unless you’re in an intimate context, so of course your body’s going to react like you usually WANT it to react when someone strokes your inner thigh! Plus, I think there’s a whole unconscious genetic spread thing that makes your lizard brain go, “…ah…warm, nurturing capable hands. This person would be an excellent baby nurturer!” It’s no different from me gettin’ a little tingly when I see guys building a house, y’know? As long as you don’t *act *inappropriately, I really don’t care what your lizard brain (or even your conscious one) is thinking or your penis is doing in response.
So. Very. True. Babies who are fed and changed and housed appropriately don’t grow unless they’re touched. It’s called “failure to thrive”, and I see no reason to think that need goes away just 'cause we’re grown. Touch tells us we’re safe, and helps to (temporarily) shut down that “fight or flight” mode that so many of us get stuck in today. That mode is hard on the adrenals, man! Touch tells your lizard brain that you’re quiet and safe among your Tribe, and you can fully relax.
That’s what I always thought, too! But my sister bought me a spa day after I had the baby, and it included a massage, so I thought I’d give it a shot. It really wasn’t weird at all from a being-touched-by-a-stranger standpoint (I guess considering I’d just had a baby with my male gyno and a bunch of nurses in attendance, how much weirder could a massage be?!?) The only time it actually seemed too intimate was when she touched my face!
I hate hearing that you’re moving by yourself sans help… If you’re moving down my way, I might be able to lend a hand for few hours. PM or e-mail me if you’ve a mind to!
Ah I am encouraged - thank you! We did just send a gift card for a 90 minute massage to my brother’s wife (who just had their first baby, and it certainly seemed that mom could use some indulgence among all the nursery madness). They live quite far from us, so I was spending a good amount of time researching day spas in their area. It was rather like reading a menu when you’re hungry! There is an ad in our local weekly for a massage therapy school, I think I may have to check it out. The ‘bargain’ aspect makes it much easier to justify!
I’ve had quite a few massages. In fact I’m lucky enough that my girlfriend is taking us to the spa after work tomorrow.
As others have said, get as nekkid as you feel comfortable. I went to boxer shorts the first few times, after that, the whole way. What’s more impressive to me about the expert sheet arrangement is not that they keep my fat ass covered, but they use the sheets to keep my arms from falling off the table.
And for my money, the hands and feet are the best part of the whole deal.
I suspect people have problems with soreness because they don’t listen to the masseuse when she says drink lots of water. Again, that’s just a suspicion, but I guzzle water afterwards and I haven’t ever been sore. Of course I might not have been sore if I didn’t drink water afterwards, but I don’t think they’d all say the same thing about the water without good reason.
There is a national franchise called Massage Envy - its a club. Around here its $45 a month - which gets you a free hour long massage once a month, and any additional massages you want are $35.
Beauty schools/massage schools are good as well, but if you are a little nervous can be invasive - sometimes you get an extra person in the room and there is chatting (now, move onto the shoulders…)
Another option is to find an independant with a massage table. I know someone who gave me a spa massage, she was a friend of a friend, who casually mentioned that “my private clients…” I suspect that I could call her and get her services for somewhat cheaper than I paid for her at the spa by cutting out the middleman. She might even have her own flute and nature music…I’ve met a few people who barter for massage services.
If you ever find yourself in TBay, you’ll have to go paddling with my dragon boat or outrigger crews – more nurses that you can shake a stick at. Terrific folks! Paddling with them brings a sense of calm and balance back into the world.
My best friend had teased me about that, so I was sort of watching for any hints that that might go on. The masseur did emphasize that the only thing I could do wrong was to let him hurt me and not say anything… really, that’s the only thing. And let it drop that he was sterile due to chemotherapy a decade ago. He also talked about his wife, though, so I don’t think there was anything in that.
I’ve had a couple, but don’t like them. I don’t know why, maybe I’m too bony or something, but it just feels physically uncomfortable, and I usually come out feeling worse than going in. Surely that’s not what I should be feeling, so I gave up on them. I don’t think I’m missing out any.
My manager took my department out to a spa for the day, plus paid for massages. (Glen Ivy was the place, for those you here in SoCal) It was absolutely awesome, the guy did a great job and I was totally relaxed after. The only thing that was odd was when he was working on my hands. Even though it was a pro job that felt borderline erotic, it had a more intimate feel than anywhere else he worked on.
That would be the Panasonic EP3513KU. Obviously not as good as an experienced massage therapist, but none the less, once you nestle down into one of these, you will not want to leave it. Air bags compress your arms, legs and feet, while little elves knead your back and neck as they travel up and down beside your spine.
