So I had a professional massage yesterday...

Totally mundane and pointless, but it was An Event for me.

I am starting a new job (my first real full-time job), moving to a new town, bought my first house, and have to move house all by myself with no help from anyone. I’ve been a bit tense. After discovering that, after closing, I had way more money left over than I had expected, I thought it would be fun to have a “spa” day and get a haircut (which I needed anyway) and a massage.

I was a little worried about the massage, wondering if it was going to hurt. You know when you have a pedicure at a Vietnamese (or is it Thai?) place, they want to give you a back massage while your toes dry? You know how they dig their elbows into you? That. That always makes me yell. So I was curious.

The massage was very relaxing, though. The masseur was an absolute master of flattery (Dante would soooooooo send him to hell) and he worked on my neck and shoulders, because I get tension headaches. I was covered with a sheet, except for my head and shoulders, and there was a heating pad on the table to keep me warm. The room was darkened, and there was nature-sound-flute-music on in the background. It was nice, and I came out of it feeling very wobbly and relaxed.

Late in the evening, though, I started to get sore in the center of my upper back. And more sore. And more sore. I woke up in the middle of the night with my whole right shoulder twitching, after which it felt better. Today, my left shoulder has yet to twitch, and it is still awfully sore. Ouch.

Interestingly, internet sources say that this is usual when you aren’t used to massage, and it should go away in a day or two and you’ll feel even better than usual. Hmmmm :dubious:

Anyway. That’s my massage experience. And I expect WhyNot to be in here with some remarks about the soreness.

I’ve never had a professional massage. I get all hung up on details like, “Would I be naked? Am I supposed to tip? They’re not going to talk a lot, are they?” However, I gave Mom a spa day for her birthday a couple of years ago and she just raved about it.

I’ve only had one. I was given a gift certificate for a massage by my doula and went when I was hugely pregnant. The masseuse was very discreet and an expert sheet rearranger. I think I took off most of my clothes, but left my underpants on. I think the feet were the best part. Pregnancy is rough on your feet.

I’m thinking about getting another one when I can sock away a little extra cash.

The same thing happened to me. I’ve only had one professional massage about 5 years ago and I was a bit sore the next day. So in the evening of the day after I did some stretching and the next morning I felt fine.

No way. Too intimate.

I’ve had lots.

Yes, the soreness is normal - once in a while I get “oh my God” wonderful when the soreness wears off, its more normal to get “that’s better than it was.”

Some massages hurt. I prefer mine deep, there are points where I am edging toward pain. Other people don’t like that. A good massuse asks what pressure you want and adjusts if you give feedback.

Massusses are the worlds largest consumer of nature and flute music. I made that up, no cite. But the whole darkened room, nature and flute thing is normal.

I was told to strip down to my panties, and get under the sheet while he stood outside the door. So I was hidden under the sheet the whole time. And yes, you’re supposed to tip–a jar full of “seed money” was sitting on the table in the room. He said that if I wanted him to shut up, I should say so–but his talking was practically a therapy/cheerleading session, so I liked it. And I’m normally very antisocial.

Aah yes. One of my favorite things to do in Vegas. I like to do a whole day in there. You know what pisses me off, though? And this is kind of weird, I’m sure, but most spas are “European Style” which means you get to have happy nekkid time for sitting in the jacuzzi or steam rooms, and a robe to walk around in. I LUUUURRRVE happy nekkid time, but I’ve noticed more and more, ladies coming in wearing bathing suits and all manner of cover ups. One chick recently even wore shorts and a tank top into the jacuzzi and steam room. This wouldn’t bother me normally, because live and let live, I usually say, and if they have issues that prevent them from being comfortable nekkid, I’m not the person who would be judgemental on that. BUT the trend from these people seems that they can’t be ok with other people’s nekkidness in any situation, so I get some sideways looks and frowns that I perceive to be their problem with me. It really puts some stress and tension into an otherwise spectacular experience.
Massages and facials are all about being au naturel under the sheets, and the workers are always expert sheet rearrangers. The steam room needs to be nude, otherwise you don’t get the full benefit of the steam. Now I’m not saying anyone should sit their bare parts on the tile, that’s what all those nifty little shelves of towels are for.

And its why they don’t generally have coed steam rooms. Of COURSE you are nekkid in a steam room. And if you choose to wear a bathing suit or a cover up - that’s fine, but I agree, steam room ettiquette is you don’t notice what anyone is not wearing. Looking at them askance for clothes, looking at the askance for lack of clothes, and saying “nice tits, who did em” are all equally out of line.
(I take undies off for a massage unless its “that time” - but you can leave them on or take them off. Its best to be as nude as possible - no jewelry either (even take out earrings) - but its BETTER to be comfortable. You’ll be covered by a sheet and not massaged anywhere inappropriate - maybe up to the edge of the buttocks but if you don’t like it just say “don’t go higher than mid-thigh.” The best thing to do to see if you can be comfortable is to just do upper body back - you are on your tummy so no peeking at boobies and no one is going to go lower than you’d see on a plumber. The massuse generally follows your lead on chatting - if you chat, they’ll chat - if you are quiet, they’ll be quiet - I’ve never met one who was chatty on their own. And yes, you tip - 15% of the service).

I’ve never had one, either. I was always afraid I’d accidentally make an appointment with one who was really a ho, because I have no idea how to know ahead of time if this is the case.

Go take a look at the place. Generally any spa, nice salon or place that says “therapeutic massage” is going to be on the up and up.

No happy ending? :frowning:


I can’t tell from that whether you WANT remarks from me or you’re just submitting to the inevitable! :wink:

Well, yeah, I’d go ahead and take a little something (Advil, Tylenol, Aleve, or Crampbark/Valerian tincture, if ya got it) if you’re in pain. Likely something just got stretched a little more than it wanted and is in spasm now. Either that or some bruising deep enough that you can’t see it.

The good thing about the human body is that our musculature is incredibly accommodating. If you hold one shoulder hiked up all the time (if you’re holding a phone to your ear often, for example) or one arm out and up (like on the windowsill of your car), then the body will compensate to make it easier in the long run. Some muscles will start to get a little more resting contraction (aka “tone”), and others learn to slack off a bit and get more flexibility. The bad thing about this is when you relax all of them, some that like to be slightly tensed decide they’ve had enough of this stretchy thing, and they “sproing!” back into their slightly constricted state. The result can be a muscle spasm, and it’s no fun. It should settle down in a day or two. If not, see a doctor just in case it’s something more serious.

But I’m glad that overall you enjoyed your experience. Man, I gotta find some of my old massage school buddies and set up some trades!

I haven’t had one, but I had a partial massage when I went in for my first manicure and pedicure this past weekend. If I’d known the beautician would be giving my lower legs a massage when she worked on my feet, I’d have been more diligent about being sure my legs were completely hair-free. :frowning: She also gave me a shoulder rub while my nails were drying!

I had one fabulous massage where I was positively so relaxed that I became downright stupid afterwards and had to sit in my car in the parking lot of the massage place afterwards to regroup. They had it all- lighting, music, candles and nice smells. Plus, of course, the masseuse was fantastic.
Also, my brother once gave me a coupon for a 1 1/2 hour massage and a 30 minute facil. that was fantastico!
On the downside, I’ve also had one massage where I was so sore I couldn’t move the next day. I thought I would probably need a second massage to recover from the first one, but was too sore to tolerate being touched.

Around here a whole heap of little chinese-run massage “stores” have popped up in most major shopping centres.

For between $10-30 you can get a proper (as they term it) “Chinese Massage” on your head and neck, your back and shoulders, your legs. Whatever you want. A full body usually only goes up to about $75-80. But it’s great. I make a point to go at least once every couple of months.

I would love a massage. I’ve never gone, though. I don’t shave legs and pits (and, bizarre as it may seem to some, prefer them that way). I’d hate for the masseuse to throw up on me - I don’t think that’d be therapeutic for either of us.

Oh, don’t let that stop you! I’m sure they’ve seen all types. If you can save up a bit and splurge for a nice place (maybe a nearby resort has a spa you can visit) they will be absolutely professional, which includes not being freaked out by some body hair. (Or that’s been my experience. Of course, YMassageMV.)

I rather like unshaven women. So I wouldn’t throw up on you. But I give a crappy massage. :slight_smile:

I love a good massage, but I’m way ticklish, and if the masseuse doesn’t have just the right technique to not set that off, it really ruins the whole experience. Once I’m in ticklish mode, you might as well give up; I’m just dreading that the next touch will make me jump out of my skin. Gah.

OTOH, I’ve had several quite lovely massages, where I felt like I was just floating on a cloud, during and after.

My only other anxiety is that I might get, erm, “wood” during a massage. It’s happened once or twice, I hope it wasn’t too noticable. <blush>

I have had three full body aromatherapy massages and they feel soooooo good.
The woman who does them also does my facials and some waxing, so it doesn’t bother me that she’s worked on darn near every part.
those who are nervous about the nudity/strangers touching you issues can always get a chair massage, reflexology, or therapeutic scalp massage. You can keep most or all of your clothes on then. I got my mom the scalp one for her 81st birthday and she has been raving to everyone about it ever since. It is extremely relaxing.

Hey, you want to hear something really intimate?

I gots a bikini wax. :eek: No, not the Brazilian. But almost.