It being the big V-day and all, I know that a lot of people are giving/getting massages as presents, which got me thinking about my reaction to them. The fact is, I’ve never had a good one in a professional setting (a few nice ones in, erm, unofficial settings, but that’s not what I’m talking about.)
The face pillow they make you lie in when you’re facedown is horribly uncomfortable. I can’t lie in it for more than three minutes. Lying flat on my back for more than a few minutes at a time makes me stiff and sore. And anything more than light pressure is painful, and I’ve yet to meet a masseuse/masseur that gets the concept of ‘light pressure’. Even when they start out that way, they always get over-enthusiastic, and I always end up saying “Ouch…too much. No, really, too much”, half a dozen times.
I know that for some, massages are one of the ultimate trappings of decadence and luxury, but for me, no thanks, I’d really rather not. Am I the only weird one out there?
I have never had a professional one, but I hate to get my back or shoulders rubbed by anyone! I give great massages, but cannot handle the idea of someone touching my neck or shoulders or back…
I’ve never gotten a professional massage, so I really can’t answer the question. But all the unprofessional ones I’ve gotten were top-notch. I like really deep pressure, though, and I have lots of kinks in my back. I don’t think it would be possible for a massage to be too rough without a jackhammer’s involvement, heh.
Maybe, if your typical massages are too rough, you could try seeing someone who specializes in pregnancy massage? I believe they use a lighter touch to avoid disturbing a baby. Just tell the therapist that you’re not actually pregnant, but you need a very light touch. It might cost a little more, but it might be worth it.
I love, love, love massages. My workplace has a massage therapist that comes in once a week and I usually book 40 minutes with her. But, I like sports massages, which are really deep, so never have problems with them going too hard.
My parents don’t really like massages from professionals either - they don’t like the pain. I give them massages once in a while and they enjoy it, however.
I am extremely ticklish, so yes I do hate massages. No matter how firmly and professionally someone is kneading my back, sometimes I’m a fraction of a second away from bursting into laughter.
I have had a professional massage (it was given as a gift) and there’s no way I would go back for another. I guess I don’t see the draw of having someone put their hands all over my body like that. If I want to relax, I’m going to take a nap.
I don’t like them at all. I’ve never had a professional massage, and even massages by SOs feel like some sort of intrusion into my personal space. Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty… wife. ?
rachelellogram and EmAnJ - Even if I found someone with hands of silk and feathers, I’d still have the problem of lying in that dreadful face pillow or flat on my back, both of which rapidly make any massage experience into an endurance event for me.
What about one of those sitting-up chairs? Like this (and the wiki link). I’ve seen them in malls before. Although I couldn’t relax in a mall environment, I’m sure some massage places use them. You can rest your head on your arms, if you don’t like the face pillow.
I hate them. They hurt and I always feel uncomfortable for about an hour afterwards. Unfortunately because most people like them I’ve had them forced upon me a couple of times but I would just as soon never have another massage again.
I don’t like massages even in the best of circumstances. They just make me cringe. And I have in particular never understood the appeal of having some stranger dig their verminous claws into my flesh. I would rather live the rest of my life hunched and decrepit. I told this to someone once. The retort was something like “YOU just don’t like being touched!” We broke up shortly thereafter.
That made me engage in some self reflection. Eventually I decided to blame my dad. God love him, but one of the the things he’d do from time to time, when we were sitting side by side, like, say, when he was driving down the street and I was sitting in the passenger seat beside him, he would out of nowhere slap his hand on the top of my knee, squeeze really hard, shake and say, with that maniacal smile, “Howwwww does that grab you!?” It was just one of those dad things.
It doesn’t really bother me anymore, now that arthritis has crippled his grip.
I’ve had two professional massages, and they don’t do anything for me. I didn’t find them painful, but I also wasn’t in any pain when I went into the things so I came out of both feeling fine but no better. So basically: stranger touching me all over for an hour. Not really my thing, and sort of boring.
The first one, though, the massage therapist told me I was the least tense person she’d ever worked on, which I thought was kind of funny.
I was just going to suggest the same thing - chair massage. That’s how the lady in my workplace does them. The chair is surprisingly comfortable, and while you have the hole thing to put your head through, you don’t have gravity pushing down on your head, causing discomfort.
I hate them, too – I hate being kneaded in any way. (I also hate being needed, but that’s for another thread.) Deep pressure just hurts me. But if you want to scratch my back, I’m always willing…
Maybe try shiatsu. You don’t have to get naked and they don’t use a table. It’s done on the floor and the touch is very gentle, more “holds” than actual rubbing. Or you could try cranial sacral massage, which is similar in that the practitioner holds certain spots on your body, then moves on to others without all of that manipulation and kneading.
Neither style is meant to do anything more than relax you, (pressure points and all that) and both do an excellent job. Obviously stay away from any woo claimers, there are some out there but if you want to try massage again these might be better options for you.
I don’t hate them, but they don’t do anything for me, neither physically or emotionally. At the end*, if anything, I’m slightly bothered by the whole thing.
but if you want to try massage again these might be better options for you.