So, I met someone's slave the other day.

The BBQ Pit
101

A brief side note on the percentages of who is what in the BDSM world. The largest group of all is that of professional providers, mostly female, who play a role for money, or other valuable consideration. While they may, or may not enjoy the role chosen, they are far more interested in the compensation than the role. It is not a fair description of every one in the world of BDSM, but no description would be fair, if it was not included.

Submission as a choice is not powerlessness, by the way, it is a rejection of control, not a rejection of expression. Since we do not live in a world where the decision to be a slave can be binding in any real social contractual sense, it is a choice, each and every time, and revocable at will under penalty of law.

For every couple who actually act out a fantasy to be Master and maid, or Mistress and slave for an evening, once in their lives, there are a thousand more who find the image haunting. And only one in a thousand who try it make it a part of their lives on a permanent basis. (Not a statistical analysis) But don’t deny that in your heart you might have once wondered, “What choices might my partner make, if all the choices were hers?” In the United States women are assumed to be the ones sought after, and the ones who must say no. What a burden that can become, to both men and women.

Among Gay people, the choice of abandoning convention is . . . less momentous. So, BDSM play among homosexuals is far less stigmatized than among strictly heterosexual people. I have not noticed that it makes BDSM behavior more common among homosexuals, just less notable, and less secretive, among the “out” population.

Dorcus:

It was at this point that I stopped believing your story. It doesn’t change much else about the thread, just that I no longer believe you.

Twice in you life you have personally encountered human dogs, but this time you are dumbfounded?

Tris

102

The thing I want to know is, what kind of education does Doghood have? What will Doghood do with his life after his “master” dumps him or takes him to the pound? (Sorry, I just had to.) Where does Doghood see himself at age 40? Age 60? Will he be able to earn a living, or what? I find myself being concerned about that. And, concerned about the mental health of both these people.

Personally, I find these people to be complete freaks. Doesn’t mean I want their behavior (if done behind closed doors) banned. Doesn’t mean that I would treat them rudely, as long as they behaved themselves in public. But I’m entitled to believe that they are freaks. I’m entitled to go through my entire life believing that they are freaks—I do judge them that harshly. But, just because those are my personal thoughts, it does not mean that I’d try to prevent them from doing whatever freaky thing that turns them on.

103

Triskadecamus, I thought that dorkusmalorkusmafia’s story about a drag queen’s dog taking a shit on the host’s bed was about an actual dog, not a human dog.

And what about the scenario I posted on page 1? Does anyone have a problem with a couple in this lifestyle exposing their children to it? [Serena Lovejoy]Oh! Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDREN?!?!?!?[/Serena Lovejoy]

104

I have no idea how, on the information provided – of which I am highly skeptical of anyway, due to the degree of sensationalism and my own long-time involvement in the BDSM community – anyone could reach the conclusion that these people are “freaks.”

Sure, it can be argued that there are some people that take their fetishes “too far,” to the extent of becoming obsessed to the exclusion of everything else. Mind you, that does not necessarily include all 24/7 players, as many of them have found ways to make a living from their passion – whether by crafting instruments of play, clothing, running different clubs/gatherings, giving lectures, writing books/articles, etc.

Further, no one with inside knowledge of the scene that I am aware of, is denying that, like in any other area of life, there are unbalanced people who get into the scene for all the wrong reasons. However, the odds are, those people will have problems in life regardless of their involvement with BDSM.

So no, I would certainly not be so quick as to label any of the people described in the OP as “freaks.” Not on the information provided anyway.

Then again, to you, I am likely a freak as well. See, I’ve been a Dominant from my earliest recollection, and it is precisely through my involvement with BDSM, that I’ve learned to characterize said behavior as yet another expression of my sensuality.

Different strokes…

105

Was Dogboy mentally ill?

Well, one definition of “in need of institutionalization” is “presents a danger to self or others.” All the piercing and suspension stuff sounds like it might fall under that heading.

On the other hand, I am not sure how much of my reaction is genuine concern, and how much is the “icky” factor.

Regards,
Shodan

106

But how do you know any relationship is consensual? I’ll bet everyone knows at least one person who seems to be in a realtionship we don’t understand (nice girl/jerky guy), but do we assume there’s a mental health angle? Well, sort of, but most people leave it at that. If dogboy seemed happy, I guess there’s not much past that you can do.

As for the dinner party, to me it seems to lie on the host. If he was the type of person who tolerated this behavior in his home, then all is fine. If you don’t like what happens, then you don’t attend anymore of his functions. If he doesn’t appreciate this behavior, then dogboy & friend are certainly allowed to act like they want, the host just doesn’t have to invite them anymore.

I consider myself an aficionado of bdsm, but would find this behavior uncalled for at even a semi-vanilla dinner party. The point is, he may live like a dog, but he’s not a dog. I don’t want people showing up as Klingons, Wookies, or other characters. It’s not a matter of what you choose in life, but respect for the others you may encounter at such an event. I know bikers, who chose this lifestyle, live it full time, but put on a tie when they go to moms for Thanksgiving. Common courtesy.

As for the children issue, BDSM is sexual in nature, so I don’t think it’s proper to do such things in the open. Sorry, but our kids know as much about our bdsm practices as they do about us doing it doggie style, or any other detail about our sex life.

107

So do you think the people I described were doing something unhealthy for their kid by letting their dom/sub lifestyle pervade every aspect of their lives? Mind, there’s no evidence that they’re engaging in sex play in front of their child, just that it’s a fact in their household that Mr. owns Mrs. and that’s what the kid is going to grow up seeing.

108

I wanted to point out that a lot of submissives will respond to these things (and no, I’m not thinking about an alternative use for roses and candles :wink: ). Being involved in a D/s relationship doesn’t prevent from appreciating tenderness, affection, sweetness, or even romanticism. I’m certain that jarbabyj is perfectly aware of that (though she feels differently), but I wanted to point out that such relationships aren’t necessarily only about roughness, pain, humiliation, etc…Gentleness and domination can mix wonderfully.

109

Is there any evidence that it’s a fact known by their children?

110

Me? I absolutely think it’s unhealthy. What kind of good can come of kids seeing mom “owned” by dad. That’s just my opinion and falls in with kids raised by Klan members and such. When you have kids, you are sharing your life with another person and have to consider what is good for them, too. It’s called being responsible. There are tons of gray areas within this, but I would say open slavery and mom crawling at dad’s feet and such is a no-no.

I know people who take their lifestyles very seriously, but they don’t include the kids, ever. I think for many people, as serious as they get, they realize it’s just one big game, and should be treated as such. I would no more do bdsm things in front of my kids as I would nude twister. Besides, half the fun is sneaking it :smiley:

111

No direct evidence, I just think that the “My reward for doing my chores is being allowed to sit on the couch” thing would be hard for a kid to miss. Maybe they send Junior to bed before they start acting like this, but it didn’t say so on the website, which I really wish I could link to.

112

My goodness, of course! And I have a very sweet, cuddly, romantic, kissy sort of husband. But if you really want to get me all hot and sweaty, you’d better call me a dirty whore and throw me around a little bit.

It’s so arousing to feel like a tiny, helpless little girl…

113

So, did Doghood beg for table scraps?

114

Jarbabyj, do you ever say no but not mean it ? Is it true that no always means no?

To anyone, is referencing someone including yourself as a “dogsomething” common lingo for a submissive character?

115

If anyone is interested in more information about how another 24/7 BDSM couple live, look no further than Soul’s Haven. SoulThief and kitten go into considerable detail about their lives and their interactions with society at large.

There are no illicit images, and it’s definitely work safe. Not exactly my cup of tea, but interesting nonetheless.

116

You should still believe because it was 100% true. I don’t call you a liar when you tell the truth, you don’t call me a liar either.

117

grienspace: when acting out a ‘rape’ scene (a subject we’ve discussed in the pit for about six pages) it is definitely possible to beg and plead and say no, and have your ‘attacker’ continue. That’s why it’s important to have a safeword.

So I can let myself into the fear of the situation, but yell out “Vin Diesel”* or whathave you if it gets to be too much.

Dog, bitch, slut, girl: all common names. I prefer ‘little girl’ to anything. Anything that make me feel lesser, weaker and smaller.

It’s important to note that BDSM and rape fantasy isn’t something you just jump into with a guy you meet at a bar. It involves PLANNING, TRUST, and KNOWING what you want out of it.

*this safeword probably wouldn’t work with Vin Diesel, but you know what I mean.

118

grienspace in a BDSM scene the word “no” is typically replaced by a “safe word” so that both participants know when to stop.

As for “common” lingo, probably not. Many relationships have a specific name for the submissive, but many many more simply use thier real name, a nickname, or no name at all.

119

You might not, but I do.

I am very liberal in the acceptance of the sexual practices of others with few exception, however, anyone who lives as a dog 24/7 and goes around sniffing crotches (does he lick his balls and hump legs too?) is a freak in my not so humble opinion. The master is just as freaky.

In fact, they are sooooooooooooo freaky that if they haven’t been on Springer yet, I am sure they will be soon.

120

PS. The shit on the bed was a real dog, a jack russel terrier if memory serves me correctly.