I gave my notice yesterday.
Regardless of whether I’ve got a new job or not, I finish on the 24/8. Four weeks from yesterday.
I was having sleeping problems, stress problems. Breaking down in tears over the most stupid things. When I brought it up with my boss, he got me two weeks emergency leave & they packed me off to the company counselling service. Helped a little, but when I came back the stress was just as bad as before I left. Even though the counsellor admits it appears I’m suffering from depression and at least one anxiety disorder her suggestions were to “fake being normal until you fit in” and “exercise more, it’ll make you feel better”. Yeah, okay. Exercise more, get some endorphins up. Helps a little. But a little isn’t enough.
I’ve been applying for other work, going to interviews. I don’t know if still being at work is a hindrance because other employers are wanting pretty quick starts and whilst my current employer really couldn’t stop me if I got a new job and had to start in a week, I still have to tell the other employers I need to give notice. Plus it’s hard to get to interviews when I work anywhere between 8 am and 6:30 pm. It involves a lot of shift swapping, which the higher-ups hate having to do.
Hubby’s been telling me I need to get out of there for months now. He has encouraged me to leave, saying we’ll work our bills out, cut down on unnecessary luxuries and work on one salary for a while if we have to. He can see how ill I’ve been due to stress, how badly I’m sleeping, how often I’m having nightmares. He hates call centres on principle anyway, and wants to see me in a job where I won’t be so much of a drone. I don’t fit that mould.
Once I’m out of where I am I’ll be able to start taking temp jobs as well, so I don’t expect to be out of work for long, even if I am hopping from temp-to-temp for a few months until something solid comes back.
It’s still scary. I quit a full-time job in late 2001 to move to Sydney and lived on temp jobs for nearly three years until I came back to Adelaide. I’ve been with this company full time since January 2004 and it’s scary to be stepping out into the unknown. To not know if I’ll have a job the day after I stop working, or if we’ll be living on one income for the next six months.
We’re in an okay situation financially at the moment. Not great, but not terrible. The big credit card is paid down to a balance of about $700. There’s a couple of other things on credit that we had planned to pay off over the next 12 months, but that we can hold on minimum payments for a while. If necessary we could even put them both onto the one card - the combined debt left over now is about 4k and the other card is 5.5k available total - and just pay the minimum on that one until I’m back at work again. But that’d only be in an emergency. One debt is on interest free until March next year, and I’d rather not fuck with it until we have to start paying it off or else.
I’m in the process of changing our internet to a cheaper provider. We can downgrade or completely ditch the cable tv if necessary. We currently get the house cleaned for us once a fortnight for $50. We can even cut that down to once a month if necessary (though not stop completely. I’m a terrible house cleaner even when I do try plus it’s family who clean for us, and they’re using the money to supplement their own income). There’s ways and means of saving money. We’ve had a lot of disposable income, there’s a lot of ways we can tighten our belts for a while. We’re quite cavalier about how we spend on food (occasional trips to the gourmet supermarket, no real food budget we just buy what we feel like), but especially if I’m not working, I’ll be able to sit down and work out a meal/food budget each week and if we have to live on spaghetti and tomato sauce with frozen veg for a while, so be it. Though I don’t think it’d come to that. Hubby’s earning a good wage.
Plus I’m a world-class food hoarder. Picked that up from my mum and grandma. Pantry’s full of dried/tinned foods. I don’t think it’d come to that, but if necessary we have got enough food in tins and packets to last several weeks supplemented simply by perhaps a bit of minced beef, some frozen veg and some bread.
I said it’s scary, but at the same time it’s a relief. There’s a new beginning in sight. For the next 20 days (excluding weekends) if someone’s shouting at me, I can let it roll over my head. They’re shouting and it won’t matter because in 4 weeks I’ll be gone and never have to talk to them again. The pressure over stats, being a nameless, faceless voice in a chair. Gone.
I like the people I work with. They’re good people. The company is great in terms of benefits and trying to care about its people. I just don’t have the right mindset for that work any more. I used to, but I’ve changed.
I’m hoping I get new work before I leave, or shortly after. But we’ll cope. And the job market’s pretty good down here right now.
So off I go, and we’ll see what happens.