but I’m really not sure where or how I should start. I’m kinda looking for upper body tone, if that helps.
Any ideas?
This is one of the best beginner’s sites out there.
Is this just for girls?
Cause I ain’t a girl 
It’s specifically aimed at women, but other than the bits about that time of the month, most of it is pretty gender-neutral.
A very basic suggestion:
Get rid of your ego!
Start slow. Light weight, low reps, no more than two or three times a week. Then stick with it. It’s not how much you can do or how fast you can progress. Real results will come if you just stick with it over a long period of time. You will be suprised at how strong you can get if you just build up veeeerrrrryyy gradually. It’s a long term project.
Most people go like hell for a few weeks (or days) then either get injured or quit. Trying to get strong fast is a recipe for failure. Taking it on as a long term project can have amazing results!
Toning is generally a result of a) lowering fat and b) increasing muscle size. So, keep in mind that you’ll also need to get your diet in order as well. T-Nation has a tremendous amount of information on routines and diet, but the discussion often turns to, “do this and then buy our products,” but that shouldn’t discredit the utility of that site.
My encouragement to you (and me) is that even though I was a classic skinny guy and thought nothing would help, when I lifted even badly (not heavy enough weight, not enough different movements) and didn’t probably eat enough protein, people noticed in 7 weeks. I got unsolicited comments.
What Spartydog said. You need to ramp up slowly. Hitting the weight hard and heavy in the beginning will likely exhaust you or cause you to pull something (probably both).
You don’t have to be a black iron hero to get results. I’ve also found that as you get older (I’m 47) more reps with a lighter weight is great for toning and less abusive to your joints. Also I tend to keep the weight routines shorter and the aerobic stuff (walking- cycling) longer. I typically do a light set 3 times week as follows
barbell curls 15 reps w/ 110 lbs
bench press 5 reps X 2 with 260 lbs
dumbbell curls 55 lbs x 60 reps each arm
dumbbell curls 55 lbs x 40 reps each arm
dumbbell curls 55 lbs x 30 reps each arm
reverse triceps pullovers w\ 60 lb curl bar 20 reps x 2
100 sit ups
This only takes 20 - 25 minutes and gives a good firming workout, adjust the weight as appropriate to your comfort level. You need to alternate this with lots of walking or aerobics @ least 3 times a week.
That’s a lot of curls! Are all of your dumbbell curls the same, or do you mix it up with hammer curls or other variations on a typical day?
Basically, set up a program and stick to it for at least 3 months.
Find a personal trainer to work out with for a month, so you can learn the right way to do lifting.
Do it right, and don’t pay attention to anything anyone else does.
Kinda vague, but it’s hard to give advice without knowing what your goals are. You say upper body tone, which to me is different than strength for athletic events (or a particular discipline) or muscle size.
Tone versus flabbiness is done with medium-scale weightlifting plus proper diet.
Word to the wise, don’t do upper body toning without some attention to lower body muscles. Nothing looks weirder than a guy who looks buff on top but who has “chicken” legs. (het female opinion)
My humble opinion-
Go to a bookstore, find a nice comfy chair and flip through the book Body For Life. Overall the book is a 12 week program for weight lifting, cardio, diet and supplements. A nice program but somewhat overwhelming to complete as scheduled.
However, the upper body workouts they’ve designed are very good. If you wear a watch with a second hand you can complete an entire upper body workout in 50 minutes that is also quite a cardio workout.
It hits the 5 major muscle groups (chest, back, shoulder, biceps, triceps) every workout with 6 sets for each muscle with 1 minute rests between sets and 2 minute rests between muscle groups.
The important thing and fun thing with this is how much you should change it up.
You may do chest first one day and shoulders last, and then another day do biceps first, chest last, shoulders second. You know, change it up.
And every muscle group has a lot of different exercises you can do. Change these up often also. One day for shoulders you may do dumbell side raises, another over head barbell press, another shrugs. Again, change it up.
Oh, and as everyone else will atest to, for the first week you will be SORE after workouts. Don’t worry, that will go away once your muscles adjust.
What he said. Suck up your pride and read it front to back. You won’t find a more concise and straightforward description of what works on the net. Eventually, you’ll probably want to move on and specialize a bit more, but for now, it’s what you need. 